Life. Love. Family. My Perfect Imperfection.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

To be honest,

I don't really want to go. I don't want to take Jackson who will be tired and cranky, because he won't have napped before, and he won't nap there. I don't want to take E who will most likely be bored and end up having a meltdown. I don't want to take myself, because I am not in a good mood. I am not in a mood that is conducive to being supportive and cheerful and the mom I want to be.

Alex has his first pinewood derby race in just over an hour.

We got up, E and Alex showered, ate breakfast and dressed for Mass. Jason fed Jack while I showered and got ready to go. After he finished, I dressed him and we were ready to head out for Mass this morning. Having only 10 minutes to get to our parish and not be late, I thought it would be prudent to go to a different parish today. The closer one is larger and has quite a few more families, so it's usually a little more crowded. I didn't anticipate how crowded it would be being Palm Sunday, so when we pulled in the lot and found not only every actual parking space filled, but also each curb "space" full, I decided it was just time to go home.

I guess it's a good thing we did, because when we got home, I checked Mass Times to see if there is a later (evening) Mass in our area and I realized that the Mass we almost went to started at 9:30 not 10:00. So we were very late anyway ;)

Regardless. Since we've been missing Mass a lot lately, either because one of us - or several! - are sick or because I can't get us all moving or don't want to "deal" with 3 kids at church by myself again, I really did want to go today. I was honestly looking forward to it. Not going, well, it put me in a bad mood. I know, it's silly really. But it's the truth.

Now it makes me not want to do anything today. Jason says I have my priorities screwed up. Because I was planning to take them to church, but I won't go support our son doing his Cub Scout activity.

Here's the thing though. I did plan to go to church. I planned to go to the derby too. And even though we didn't make it to Mass, and even though I don't want to go to the derby, even though I told Jason I plan to just drop Alex off and bring the other two home, I won't do that. I am his mom, whether I am having a good day, or a bad day, whether I want to do something or not. I will go, I will support him, I will cheer him on. Because I LOVE him and I want him to always know and remember that.

So yeah, maybe my priorities seem screwed up, especially when I spout off at the mouth. But, to be honest, my boys will ALWAYS come first, their needs, their wants, whether it's a good day or not.

Off to the pinewood derby in 35 minutes or so and I'm sure we will all end up having a good time, despite a cranky, tired toddler, a 10yr old Aspie's anticipated meltdown from boredom and a crabby mom, because sometimes, you just need to get out of the house and do something, anything to change everybody's attitude :)