After a couple conversations, and some decision making on my part, I'm making some BIG changes! Not going to disclose all the details right now, but it's all for the better.
On that note, yesterday morning we all got up and made pancakes for breakfast. For the first time in months (years?) I exercised! I have a couple of "Biggest Loser" work-out DVDs and I decided to do the cardio one. 30 minutes - including warm-up and cool-down - of straight moving. I have to say, my leg muscles are hurting today! In a good way, though.
I really wanted to go to Mass yesterday - we haven't been good about it, but it's a special day this Sunday for Alex and I've been wanting to make more of an effort to go - and so we (the 3 boys and I) got ready and made it on time. At one point, Jackson started getting a little fussy, so I knew he and I would have to step out. The way our church is set up, you can stand in the foyer area and see into the sanctuary through several picture windows, so I decided to leave the older boys sitting there by themselves. After all, E will be 11 in July and Alex 8 in about 6 weeks so truthfully they are old enough to sit there. The highlight, though, and the thing that made me truly feel at home at our parish for probably the first time is what happened next. When Jack and I stepped out, I told the older boys to stay in their seats rather than go up for Communion - a blessing in Alex's case. They were fine with that, but as I watched from the other side of the window, they were trying to remember what exactly they should do. The woman sitting in front of us, who teaches Children's Liturgy of the Word, and helps with Catechism classes, turned and had the boys move up by her. She helped them figure out what to do and took them up with her. :) After they went back to their seats, she turned and smiled to me and I mouthed "thank you". Just before Mass ended, Jack and I went back in. The older lady behind us was so kind and said how well behaved they were and what a nice family we have. Seriously made me happy.
They were doing sign-ups for vacation bible school for K-5, but E is technically 5th grade-age, so I explained to the nice lady, mentioning that he's only 10, has Asperger's and would like to go. She was so helpful, talking to him and explaining since it's his first year, that she would recommend him joining in the activities anyway, rather than helping like the other 6th graders and older. She also mentioned that her 10th grader has Asperger's!
Today, I woke up and my legs and back are sore! LOL. I'm taking the day off, and working out again tomorrow. I know as time goes on it will get easier, and I will get stronger and have better endurance. But I also know that I have to listen to my body, and today it says to just relax a bit.
I've been trying to come up with story ideas, but everything I come up with feels all wrong or I can't get it down on paper right. I need a nice, quiet place to go and write for a couple of days and just let the ideas flow. But if I were to get a couple days alone, I'd probably just sleep and do nothing. ;)
Not sure where this post was going when I started it this morning but here's where it ends. No matter what, follow your dreams. Remember you are loved and even when you make mistakes - because NOBODY is perfect - somebody out there looks up to you, or believes in you. You are the only you, and you're special just the way you are. Be kind to one another, because there is enough bad out there in this world. If everyone just tries a little harder to be nice, the world would be a better place.