Life. Love. Family. My Perfect Imperfection.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

A Month of Ethan: July TBT #2

I hesitated on sharing this one, because it's not a smiling, happy picture. It was taken at his 2nd birthday party, July 2004.

I look back at the pictures from the time Ethan was a little over a year old till around age 3 and see a lot of this "look". Almost a blank stare, lost in his own world, and honestly it makes me a bit sad. Only because we didn't know what was going on, that he had autism, that it was "ok" and how to help him work through things, and not want to just change things. I wish I'd known how to advocate for him better when he was little. Part of me just wanted to make him "all better" because I didn't want life to be hard for him.

Looking at him today, now, I wouldn't change anything about Ethan. I'm not saying I'm glad he has Autism, because there are things that make it hard for him to cope with everyday situations, but it's part of who he is, part of his personality, his quirks and his lovely traits! I love ALL of that about my oldest boy, and that's why I'd never ask for him to be different. If someone came to me tomorrow and said "We have a cure for Autism, all he has to do is A, B, C", I'd tell them "Only if HE wants to, because it's part of him. I love him for him." Just like I'd never want to change anything that is a part of who I am.

We are so blessed to have Ethan as our son and brother. I'm so proud of him in so many ways. He's learned to use his struggles to his advantage, and his "obsessions" to make life fun for him and us! 





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