this...

Sometimes, you just have to walk away from things that are causing more problems than they are helping. By doing so, you can commit more fully to the people and things that mean the most to you and have been there the longest - for me, that's my husband and my boys.

It sounds like an excuse, but it's so much more than that.
When I decided to start being a Beachbody Coach, I didn't discuss it with Jason. I just jumped right in, with both feet. Now, while it may be a great fit for some people, I've struggled with it. I want to help people, help them get healthy and fit, learn to eat right, all the while doing the same for myself. But I feel like a.) nobody is interested or b.) nobody can afford to buy the workouts and/or shakes. Now I know what other coaches will say: It's not about selling. I get that, but to an extent it is. They need to find a workout that is their soul-mate workout, and there are so many good choices and the shakes are super healthy, but most people I know though just can't do it. I'm not good at reaching out to new people, either.  Not only has it been stressing me out, because I don't know what/how/who, even with my awesome team's help (it's truly not about them, it's all about what I can and can't do, handle and control), but we have been spending money on our own shakes as well as our business fees. This has caused some budgetary concerns - minor, but very real.

After the first of the year, our insurance went up, as did the 401k  deductions, and we are trying to save some money for some home improvements we want to do as well as other things. One more reason to cut expenses.

I am trying not to think of this as quitting or giving up on something, so much as re-prioritizing. Things need to change and this is where they can. We needed to take a long hard look at things, and really step back. I choose them, over ANYTHING else.

My commitment has been and always will be, first and foremost, to the love of my life, Jason, and our 3 sons, Ethan, Alex, and Jack. When I sat down and spoke with Jason about quitting being a coach, and my why's, we discussed openly and came to the conclusion that it's what's right for our whole family, because I'm struggling with it.

 Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.  ~Simone Signoret

I love this quote, because for me those threads are our conversations, our fights, our compromises, our willingness to fight for one another and for our family unit.

I love being married.  It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.  ~Rita Rudner
 

I hope I don't annoy him too much, and even when he annoys me, I love him more than life.

What needs changing in YOUR life today? For me, it's hunkering down into our family more, and shutting out the world just a bit, while still sharing, growing, loving, and moving on from things that just don't fit. I'm thankful for the opportunity I had, and am not sorry I attempted. I did learn things, and will always be grateful for that. I feel like I've made some new friends along the way and reconnected with old acquaintances, too.

On to bigger and better things. Like my eldest son's school spelling bee in an hour. Yes, that's right, E won the class bee again this year, and goes to the next level. If he wins, it will be the charter school bee and possibly the Scripps regional bee again. Even if he doesn't make it, I'm proud of him and Alex for all their hard work in school. (Alex was disappointed because he didn't win his class bee, but he was happy for his good friend that did :) ) Oh, and of course, my writing, online and offline. I have had some book ideas floating around in my head for months now, and while they might not be any good at all, I need to get them on paper and share with someone...

7 Quick Takes ;) - July 5, 2013

--- 1 ---
Just the 3 of us!

Yesterday was the 4th of July. Independence Day. We didn't have our 2 older boys with us, so it was just Jason, Jackson and I. After a light lunch, we went to Great Lakes Crossing and walked around for a couple of hours. Jack LOVED the animals at Bass Pro Shops. He was pointing at them and trying to name them. Even the fish were just the most amazing thing to him! We decided to have dinner at Toby Keith's I <3 this bar and grill. It was pretty good. I ended up ordering a half-rack of St. Louis style ribs, baked beans and sweet potato tots.

We didn't go see fireworks last night, but we sure did hear them. Our dog is a scaredy-cat and spent the whole night whimpering and whining. I can't wait till people are done shooting them off... 
Actually since Monday, we've just been kind of not doing a whole lot. Jason has had class most evenings, so Jack and I have been spending time together.

--- 2 ---
Technology growing pains...

While at the mall, we passed the Verizon Wireless store. My Droid X2 has been acting up for the last couple of months. Missing texts, not dialing, dropping calls, the screen freezing up, having to do a hard reset by removing the battery. It has gotten quite irritating. I'd already gone over once to the store nearest to our house, but the customer service rep was less than helpful (kind but unable to offer me a replacement). So when Jason suggested stopping in to this store, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic. However, the very nice lady looked up our information and found that not only do we have insurance, but also the extended warranty, meaning they would replace my phone with something NEWER, of equal or better value! For FREE! And it won't change our plan or "renew" our contract so we won't lose our current unlimited data. I should be getting my brand new Droid RAZR M on either Monday or Tuesday! It looks pretty sweet. Smaller phone, but all screen, so it's actually a bigger screen, lighter, faster, 4G, and I won't lose my apps. I'm pretty thrilled to say the least.

--- 3 ---
From me to you! 

I want to let people know that if you get a message from me on Facebook, I'm not spamming you, nor am I just trying to bug you or sell to you. I'm genuinely reaching out to help others. My thought is this: If I don't reach out to so-and-so and they DO want help reaching their goals, I'll never know, nor will they know I want to help them. If I do reach out, and they don't need or want help, at least they know I care, and if they ever need support, that I'm there. Also maybe they know somebody that wants or needs assistance. So please don't mind my messages. If it's not of interest to you, a quick no thanks would be grand, but if you forget or don't have a minute, I understand. Just know that it's not to bother you or because I think you are in particular need of something. I figure all of us could use some support at sometime or another. :) Thanks for your understanding!!!

--- 4 ---
It's all relative

You don't realize how much you are alike (and different at the same time!) until you spend a lot of time with family members. This past weekend, after dropping the older boys off, I picked my mom up and we drove down to Columbus. We stayed at my sister Heather's house for the weekend, and while it was fun, it did get a little, ahem, tense? sometimes. Really it was over silly stuff, and most of it was myself overreacting. I do want to apologize though, again. Love you!! We threw her a bridal shower, and even though no family from out of town came in (...), we still had a good time and made the most of it. Jackson had a blast running around with all the "little" girls that were there. They ranged from 4-12, I think? Oh my gosh, he was so funny. Back at the house, he'd chase the dogs, yelling "dog" or "gigi" (one of Heather and Matt's pups names). Jack loved that they were almost all smaller than him.

--- 5 --- 
Shoe important!
 

Looking for boots for the wedding party proved fruitful. We found a pair all of us girls liked, though a different color we originally talked about. We did have to go online to order them (planning to do so this weekend actually) and found a better deal too! I promised I would share a picture if it was alright with the bride-to-be and she obliged :)

Justin Boots Red Torino

On top of finding those, yesterday proved fruitful too. I found a new pair of tennis shoes for exercise, walking and hopefully, eventually, running! They are Asics, very cute, comfortable and not terribly expensive. I guess, after reading the description on the site linked below, they are technically trail-running shoes, but whatever ;)

Asics GEL-Venture 3

I'm still on the lookout for a good pair of tennis shoes for everyday wear to replace my 4 year old Sketchers shape-ups that I love but are worn out... I did find a pair of Sketchers D'Lites that I like, but wanted to price them elsewhere before I got them. These look and feel good, and even though they are actually considered "athletic training shoes", I could wear them everyday, with jeans or whatever.

I'm not much of a shoe or fashion person, but since I'm losing weight now, I need to start slowly replacing my clothes with things that fit. I may need a fashion advisor... anybody want the job? LOL.

--- 6 ---
Finding myself in my hobbies is a chore in itself

I got married pretty young and never really developed a sense of "self", so to speak. I didn't really have any hobbies or at least I didn't really grow them? As I build this blog, and grow as a person, I want to find new things to do. Photographing things has been fun, but I always seem to put it away and never learn more, or I forget my camera and miss out on opportune shots!

I have tried learning to knit, and while I did successfully make a hat, I just don't seem to take the time to work on my projects!

Excuse after excuse, really. I have got to stop that.

--- 7 ---
Kicking the Summer Bucket List starts...

NOW! Well actually tomorrow. Well, technically, it already did a few weeks ago, BUT we only did a few simple, already scheduled things. Now it's time to hit it and hit it HARD! Ethan and Alex will be excited to get moving on it and start doing some of the fun things we have listed. I think first thing we should cross off is making homemade donuts. A couple of weeks ago, we found a BabyCakes donut maker on clearance at Meijer and snagged it. Sunday morning would be a great day to do this :) I will try to remember to snap some pics of the process and the aftermath! I'm thinking using our whole wheat pancake batter recipe, just a bit thicker might work? Any thoughts? I'd like to make them a healthy version. They are basically baked, not fried, and we have tons of King Arthur's white whole wheat flour, and fresh berries we could add. We'll see how they turn out!

Thanks for reading!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Day 1 of a 30 day challenge - Where am I starting?

So, in case you didn't know yet, I am now an Independent Team Beachbody Coach, or fitness coach. Not a trainer, or a nutritionist, but just someone to give you support, accountability and a little help to reach your goals. I will listen if you're struggling and cheer you on as you work towards your goal. I can help you find a workout program that will work for you that will get and KEEP you motivated.

The best part? I'm on the journey to getting fit, losing weight and getting healthier, too! I'm right there, where you are. Weekly, daily ~ heck, HOURLY ~ I struggle with making good choices for my health and body, whether it's with food or exercise, or just making sure I go to bed at a decent time so I'm not tired and crabby the next day!

I'm starting this journey, not only by becoming a fitness coach so I can help people, but by being in a 30-day challenge to work towards a goal and get healthier, with tons of support and accountability. (If you're interested let me know via FB or comment here on this post. I'm planning to hold my own challenge group starting in June. We can talk and I can get you more info on what it all entails :) )

So where exactly am I starting?

Well, in all honesty, I started out weighing 187, down to 179.5 after 2 weeks on last Friday. However, after not making good food choices 3 days in a row, I stepped on the scale for an accurate, beginning weight for the challenge and was a little disappointed with myself. I am currently 183.5.

My measurements are as follows:

Chest: 43"
Right Arm: 13.5"
Left Arm: 13.5"
Abdomen: 41"
Waist: 43"
Hips: 43.5"
Right Thigh: 24"
Left Thigh: 24.5"

Clothing Size: 14/16 pants, XL/18 top
Starting Weight: 183.5

I'm drinking ShakeOlogy for breakfast each day, and starting workouts. HipHopAbs and Rockin' Body are the two DVD programs I'm doing. I plan to update these each Monday, so I can see my results!

If I can figure out how to add pictures (it's not working right now :( ), I will share my before pictures today or tomorrow.