A Month of Ethan - July TBT #5 AND (a slightly late) birthday post all rolled in to one!

12 years. That's how old our boy turned on Tuesday. TWELVE! I know that's not super-old or anything, but when it's your first-born reaching that milestone, it can feel like it. The years have flown by. We are so proud of you, Ethan!!

July 29th, 2002. Ethan's delivery was a little difficult. My labor had slowed somewhat, and I was put on pitocin to speed it up. My ob's office had 2 different doctors, and of course the one on duty that night, for most of my labor, was horrible :( She THREATENED me with a c-section if I didn't hurry up and push that baby out. Not that a c-section is a bad thing, it was just the way she treated me and said it to me. I was 21 and having my first child with no family around besides my poor tired husband! Thankfully, not long after that there was a shift change and the other OB came in. She was much kinder and respectful. We were concerned because Ethan's heart rate was dropping, but, she told me, not enough to do a c-section. Once he was born, we quickly realized why. His umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck twice cutting off the circulation some. He was fine though, and didn't need any interventions. Apgar scores were great and he was crying loudly.

Me, 7 months pregnant with Ethan, and Jason's Grandma (my baby shower)

My sweet boy and I. Just a few minutes old.

He was born on a Monday. Ethan and I stayed in the hospital until Wednesday, and I'm genuinely glad we did. It was discovered early Wednesday that he had a heart murmur. Many times it is an innocent murmur. In E's case, he has Ventricular Septal Defect, a hole in the septum of the ventricle of his heart. It was small, but there. Over the years, he has seen a cardiologist many times to monitor it. At first, he had a lot of trouble gaining weight, eventually (after we had a hard time breastfeeding and he was put on formula) being fed higher calorie formula. He has been very lucky in that he has never needed surgery or medication for his heart condition, and the hole has been slowly closing all this time. He still has a murmur and the hole is currently still there, but he only goes to the cardiologist every 2-3 years now. (Ethan does NOT like getting echocardiograms done :( )

Mommy, Daddy and Ethan (around 3 weeks old)

Summer 2003

Cake and ice cream, 2nd birthday, 2004

Ethan and Grandma O, National Zoo, Washington, DC, May 2005

Ethan and his 5th grade teacher, Mrs. L, Halloween 2011

Alex and Ethan, after his first spelling bee win, Feb 2012

Ethan with Jackson, April 2012

Being silly before his middle school dance, 2012

Age 3

Ethan and his first friend Jocelyn, about 18mo-2y

Ethan and Jocey, they were about a year old

Ethan and daddy (top 2: around 4 or 5 months, bottom: about 2)

Over the years, Ethan has had his fair share of struggles and triumphs. At around 18 months, he was diagnosed with communication delays, and we suspected Autism. He received in home services from then, until we moved from Maryland to Ohio. Around 3 he finally started to speak, and promptly started reading!! In Ohio he started preschool for a couple of months, with special services, and went on to half-day kindergarten that fall. During that time he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and was given his first IEP.

We moved to a different house, and unfortunately he had to switch schools. Full day kindergarten, many phone calls home, and difficulty with bullies made for a tough 5 months. After finding out more than a month into the switch that they "didn't know about his IEP", I was furious for him. It was most definitely given to them, by myself and the old school. They did "find" it though. The next few years of school were all over the place for little E. We tried a Catholic school for first grade, but he was essentially kicked out due to lack of services available (I get it, but they did know prior to him starting about his diagnosis and said it was ok. I didn't appreciate the teacher saying he was "RUDE" because he would throw tantrums and yell "at" her or correct her. In all honesty, it was part of his Autism, and while not okay to disrespect others, we were still trying to figure out how to help him respond appropriately. Yelling at him, or sending him out of the classroom constantly was not helping... but I digress) We decided to send him to a special school for kids on the spectrum, and he excelled. In fact, they were the first to realize - besides us, of course - that he was brilliant and bored with the classwork. They moved him to second grade in November, and by January he was being "mainstreamed" into the typical classroom, with an aide. It was around this time, we took him to a psychologist and got the new diagnosis of Asperger's, which is still on the spectrum like PDD-NOS, and possibly ADHD. After given the choice to try medication (risperdal) and doing some research, we declined.

Over the summer, we moved yet again, to Michigan where daddy works. For third grade, E started at a charter school, and while that year was a tough one, he made a lot of progress. Since then E has done amazing, not only in school, but socially he's taken so many steps in the right direction, in part thanks to the amazing teachers he had in 4th-7th grade. He won the school and charter school spelling bees two years in a row, making it to the regional bee for the Scripps' National Spelling Bee and although he didn't make it to the end, he did well and managed his emotions also.

In the past year, E has made some amazing strides. Back in September, we went to a neurologist and after some discussion, with Ethan's approval, we decided on some medication to help with his anxiety. Not only has it helped with that, it has helped his focus. This year, he met 1 of his IEP goals by June (his runs Oct-Oct) and made a lot of progress on all of the others. He only had social/behavioral goals this year, which is different from the previous ones.

Ethan is an amazing, caring big brother. His empathy for others is quite astounding. He wants to make sure you are happy, and will sacrifice his own happiness to do what his brothers want many times. Ethan is kind, funny and so smart. Be careful telling him things, because if you are incorrect and he knows it, he will not hesitate to correct you! His favorite subjects are Math, History, and Science. He has mentioned wanting to become a teacher or an actor! Some of his favorite things to do are draw comics, play minecraft and other video games, and read books. He's especially loving James Patterson's middle school books right now.

I have loved watching him grow up to become this wonderful young man he is now. It's not always easy for him, but he tries so hard to be positive and he's learning to express himself when he's having a hard time or needs something specific. Whether it's a hug or time alone. In the coming year, E plans to try a couple of new activities. The dr tested his cholesterol yesterday, after it being slightly elevated last year, and found it to still be elevated. He eats pretty well, but doesn't get much exercise. While he is most definitely not overweight (4'9" and 82.6lbs), he needs to move more. After some discussion, Ethan has decided he would like to try Karate, and possibly yoga, as well as more swim lessons. I'm going to do my best to encourage him and help him. Not just for the cholesterol, but because I think emotionally the more he moves the better off he will be. Plus it will be just plain fun and he can meet some new people!

Mom and Dad love you, buddy. Keep up the good work, and just think, in one year, you will be a teenager! Time flies, so enjoy being a kid this year!

MPM: 7/28 - 8/3

This week is an eclectic week when it comes to our menu plan, as well as our schedule! Tomorrow we have a birthday. Wednesday is a yearly physical for the birthday boy. Thursday we have our first ever chiropractic appointment. Then on Saturday, we have my husband's family reunion to attend. It's a very busy week for us, compared to lately. Throw in some last minute grocery shopping and clothes shopping (for mom) today, and we need to find something laid back and fun to do this week!

The Michigan weather is all over the place the last week. Saturday was warm and a little humid, but yesterday was really hot until around 4:30 when a huge thunderstorm rolled through. We were actually in the mall at Sears, when they directed all the shoppers and employees to take cover in the hallway as a precaution! That was a little scary, especially to Ethan. He gets worked up quickly during tense events and can panic. I'm trying to teach him not to panic, but to assess the situation, follow directions of the adults or those in charge if necessary, and find the safest thing to do. I'm terrified if there's ever a truly dangerous situation that he'll either freeze and do nothing or just start screaming, and get injured :( Such is the life as mom with an Aspie. I just don't know what to expect or how to prepare him sometimes. And that's ok. I just have to be here for him, and try to guide him.

On to our menu:

We actually changed up our plan last week and didn't end up eating the pork tacos yet. I did FINALLY manage to get the nearly 8.5 lb pork shoulder in the crockpot first thing yesterday morning, but we had cheeseburgers (hamburger w/o a bun for me) last night instead, as the ground beef was in the fridge and needed cooked. That makes for a super easy meal tonight though, since the meat is already cooked and partially shredded!

Monday: Crockpot pork tacos (decided not to use the recipe I shared last week. Instead I put the pork shoulder in the crockpot along with about 6 T wildtree taco seasoning and filled it up with beef broth. It cooked on low for about 12 hours. Fell off the bone!), homemade guacomole w/ wildtree guacomole seasoning, coleslaw mix/lettuce/pico/salsa/onions/cheese, plus tortillas for the boys and green leaf lettuce for me.

Tuesday: Birthday boy's choice. Ethan picked Stevi B's pizza buffet (...) along with a chocolate chip cookie cake, summer berry cobbler and chocolate chip cookie dough ice creams. (Since I'm going to be eating some pizza and a small slice of cake, I am planning to pick up a quart of coconut ice cream and having a HUGE salad at the restaurant. That way I'm not going completely off track, while still indulging in the birthday celebration for my big kid :) )

Wednesday: Aidell's chicken and gruyere sausages, roasted potatoes and salad

Thursday: Steak, roasted sweet potato and roasted broccoli

Friday: Coconut-crusted chicken tenders, roasted cauliflower and baby carrots

Saturday: Reunion (hamburgers and hot dogs) We are taking a couple of sides this year: a veggie tray with baby carrots, cauliflower and broccoli, a watermelon, and Nom Nom Chocolate Truffles of which I'm making a double batch. We will just use cocoa powder, not coconut flakes to roll them in. One batch will be dark chocolate, the other will be mint chocolate! Honestly, I cannot wait to make and try these!

Sunday: Leftovers or breakfast or something easy for dinner tonight!

That's all I've got! Enjoy your Monday, and make sure to go to I'm an Organizing Junkie for more meal ideas.

A Month of Ethan - July TBT #4

Ethan with daddy, around 4 or 5 months old. Fall, 2002

A Month of Ethan - July TBT #3

Ethan on his 6th birthday

Checking out one of his favorite things at the time, a new map!

A Month of Ethan: July TBT #2

I hesitated on sharing this one, because it's not a smiling, happy picture. It was taken at his 2nd birthday party, July 2004.

I look back at the pictures from the time Ethan was a little over a year old till around age 3 and see a lot of this "look". Almost a blank stare, lost in his own world, and honestly it makes me a bit sad. Only because we didn't know what was going on, that he had autism, that it was "ok" and how to help him work through things, and not want to just change things. I wish I'd known how to advocate for him better when he was little. Part of me just wanted to make him "all better" because I didn't want life to be hard for him.

Looking at him today, now, I wouldn't change anything about Ethan. I'm not saying I'm glad he has Autism, because there are things that make it hard for him to cope with everyday situations, but it's part of who he is, part of his personality, his quirks and his lovely traits! I love ALL of that about my oldest boy, and that's why I'd never ask for him to be different. If someone came to me tomorrow and said "We have a cure for Autism, all he has to do is A, B, C", I'd tell them "Only if HE wants to, because it's part of him. I love him for him." Just like I'd never want to change anything that is a part of who I am.

We are so blessed to have Ethan as our son and brother. I'm so proud of him in so many ways. He's learned to use his struggles to his advantage, and his "obsessions" to make life fun for him and us! 

A month of Ethan - July TBT #1

This month, it's Ethan's turn. He gets to celebrate the big 1-2 this year, his last "official" pre-teen birthday! I can't believe how fast time has flown. I'll save the mushy stuff for his actual birthday post but here's a cute baby picture for now :)

Summer 2003 @ the zoo w/ grandparents

Look at that smile! Those teeth! Speaking of teeth, he was so excited to tell us on the phone yesterday that he'd finally lost his canine tooth that had been lose for "3 weeks!".

9 years ago

*I started writing this last week, but forgot to publish it! It's a few days late, but I wanted to be sure to share.*

Timeline:
May 26th, 2005. One of my best friends was getting married. I was her matron of honor. I was also out.to.here pregnant with our second son. As in my due date was 5/28. Jill had the audacity to bribe my unborn child with chocolate!! She promised him the "biggest chocolate candy bar in the world if he'd just stay in till after the wedding"! Well he kept his end of the deal, though I think he's still waiting on that big candy bar ;)

May 29th, 2005. My parents came to visit. I was still out.to.here pregnant with Alex. It was getting hotter in southern Maryland, and I was slightly uncomfortable completely miserable. (Well, maybe not as miserable as I had been nearly three years earlier in July 2002, when our a/c went out the last week of my pregnancy with Ethan!)

We decided to go to the National Zoo in Washington DC for most of the day, and walk around. Yes, that's a brilliant idea...

In the afternoon, we decided to leave after walking for a few hours. Once in the car, I noticed my hands were swollen and I couldn't make a fist well, and my wedding ring was snug. No biggie, drink some more water. At that point, we sort of got lost in DC on our way home. Then the Braxton-hicks contractions I'd had on and off for a few days, weeks, whatever, seemed to be getting stronger. Yep, definitely feels like early labor, I say to my mom.

My dad teases me, and tells Jason just to head back to the zoo and we can ask a veterinarian to help me out, if we can't make it home in time!! WHAT?!?!

Not cool. Not cool at all, DAD!

Seriously though, the laughter helped and we did make it home not too much later.

I wasn't having regular contractions close enough at that point, so I decided to take a nice warm relaxing bath after E went to bed.

The rest of the night is somewhat a blur, as that's how memories can be, especially for a woman in labor, I suppose. All the details just kind of blend together, time is nonexistent. At some point, I decided it was time for Jason and I to head to the hospital, and check in.

I received an IV, an epidural, and if I remember right, just after the dr checked on me and said to let her know if/when my water broke or I felt it was time, to call for her, my water did break.

May 30, 2005: 12:22 am, Alexander Francis was born and we finally got to meet him and see his sweet face.

Just a few hours old

Daddy, E, and baby Alex

Grandpa O and Alex meeting for the first time (this is one of my favorite pictures!!)

Since the moment he was born, he has delighted us. He's a mischievous, funny, sweet and smart boy. Always willing to lend a hand and care for others.

Always one to keep us on our toes, he was the baby of the family for so many years, a great little brother to Ethan, as well as his friend.

.

When we found out that we were expecting our 3rd child, to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when we told the boys. I thought Alex might be upset a bit. He was probably the most excited!

Of course, when we went for my ultrasound, he was hoping for a little sister, and for about 30 seconds, was almost in tears when he heard "it's a boy!".

He warmed up to the idea quickly, realizing he was still going to be a big brother himself.

Since the very first minute he held his baby brother, he has been amazing with him. Alex looks after Jackson, making sure he doesn't get hurt or teaching him new things. He plays with him, even when he doesn't really want to. Sure, Alex gets irritated when his little brother takes his things, or smacks him, or is just "annoying", but he really is a great big brother!

This year Alex is finishing up 4th grade, and is looking forward to his last year of elementary school. He's been on the honor roll all year so far and is on target to be on it for the 3rd trimester as well. He was in the mentor program, helping another student, and just finished his second year of Cub Scouts. Now that he's a Webelos Scout, Alex is looking forward to Boy Scouts in 2 years and wants to become an Eagle Scout like his Grandpa O!!

What a handsome young man he's become.

We love you, Alex. You have made us very proud and we are so blessed to have you as our son. Keep being the amazing person you are. One day, you will make a big impact in someone's life, I can just feel it! :)

A month of Alex - May TBT #5

Birthday cake (1st bday 2006)

Wintertime 2007 (18 months)

I found these awesome pictures on some DVD's this morning! There were so many cute, older pictures of him and his brother E floating around, and it was very difficult to narrow it down to just these 2 today. Tomorrow, Alex will be celebrating his 9th birthday. This morning while he was packing his book bag, I went in their room and laid down on his bed, and he came over to give me a great big hug. I said to him, "so after today, do I still get hugs and cuddles? After all you will be 9 tomorrow..." He responded "Absolutely! I love you, mom!" That was the sweetest thing I could have heard this morning.

A month of Alex - May TBT #4

First Communion (2013)

Alex and I were just sitting here yesterday and talking about things coming up in the next few weeks. School is out in about 3 weeks (15 school days left, not including today), and we go on vacation just 2 days later - on Father's Day! Memorial Day is Monday, and while there is no school, we have a cub scout event including a parade and picnic. It dawned on him that means his birthday is NEXT Friday.

He finally decided he wants to have a sleepover with 5 of his friends and have pizza and pop. We are going to take the boys bowling - or maybe roller skating. Either one will be fun for all involved. Ethan has asked if he can have a friend spend the night as well, but Jas and I need to discuss this as it's Alex's special day. I'm hoping the weather will be nice Saturday night because Alex is hoping they can have a camp-out in the backyard in the tent (with dad out there for supervision, of course).

I'm planning to give him the choice between yellow cake or brownies for his "cake" and any flavor ice cream he likes - Breyer's has so many choices that are dye-free and HFCS-free, with very few ingredients.


It's been hard to decide each week which pictures to show! I love looking back and see how he's grown and changed.

A month of Alex - May TBT #1

Our little pumpkin 6/2/05 - just 3 days old

Throwback Thursday 2014 #1

In honor of Baby J turning 2 (!?) tomorrow, here's the cutie on his actual birth day!

I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant with him. It was just a couple of days before Mother's Day 2011, meaning I got pregnant just after my 30th birthday. I never thought we would have a third child and we have been so blessed by this little guy, just like we have been by his awesome older brothers. Sometimes the best thing in life are the littlest (biggest!) surprises :)

Happy (early) 2nd birthday, my littlest man.