Hitting the half-way mark

When it's come to reading, the boys are doing great towards their 4 book list. Ethan has read 2: Minecraft Hacks Combat edition and Middle School Ultimate Showdown. Alex is finished with The Savage Fortress and currently partway through Minecraft Hacks Combat Edition while also reading Spirit Animals #2

I'm a bit behind, but did finally finish The Dark Unwinding. Truth be told, I've been reading it for many months on and off, and finally really got into it near the end. There are at least 1 or 2 more books that follow this one, and at first I wasn't planning to look for them at all, but now I may add them to my February list...

I (re)started Scream-free Parenting and am just a few pages in. I know that I yell way too much at my boys, and I'm hoping to get a lot of ideas from this book on how to interact better with them (and maybe with Jason, too.)

My food choices have been okay, even though I've given in to some cravings - pop with our meals on Sunday, an ice cream bar after grocery shopping and a couple of mini candy bars from the boys' Halloween stash - I've also eaten more fruit and veggies, and less food in general. I'm not filling up on food to the point that I feel overfull, just until I'm not hungry.

Our menu plan was shared on Monday for this week, and we are trying our 4th new recipe of the month tonight: garlic beef roast.

Our newest total so far for 31 days of declutter is 10 and I like seeing things go or get re-organized.

Ethan, Alex and Jackson have been going to their choi/little dragon classes and doing well, although the outside practice has been nil so far... We also won't be doing any private lessons this month (It's $40/half hour per kid x 4 lessons! On top of the money we already spend for their regular classes!) We also probably won't be testing this month, as they may not be eligible per the school until Feb 22nd, and they also need their sparring gear which I am not ordering. Due to some probable changes within the next few months, we may not be in Choi after February, at least at this school and to spend $120 for 2 sets of sparring gloves and footwear doesn't seem reasonable at the moment.

The older boys have each written one of 4 letters to their pen pals - on Monday of this week which I'm finally mailing today... - and will also be drawing a picture and mailing that out Saturday or early next week. Alex's idea was to have Jackson draw a picture for one of the younger brothers of their pen pals and send it. I'm rolling with the idea and saying all 3 should draw a picture and mail it out!

As far as Alex's Cub Scouts goals, he's done 2 of 3 requirements for the Geography belt loop and one of 3 towards the Maps and Compass belt loop. He also worked on his Traveler activity badge, and once he earns both belt loops, he will also be finished meeting the Traveler requirements! I think it's very reasonable to think he will be able to turn them in to his den leader by the end of January. We are behind on the Parvuli Dei requirements but since E has confirmation class tomorrow, we can use that time to sit and finish a couple of the sessions hopefully.

Staying busy

This weekend went very fast. Friday evening, while Jack-Jack and I took Ethan to Choi, Jason and Alex attended a Cub Scout/Boy Scout activity at a local fire station. They worked on the Readyman activity badge and learned about first aid techniques including the Heimlich maneuver! I was surprised with what Alex was able to tell me when they got home. He's excited by all of the activity badges they've been working on lately, and we are looking forward to some coming up in the next few months.

His den leader is also the Popcorn Kernel, and was able to give almost all of his popcorn order to us the same night. Alex is very proud of himself, as he not only met but exceeded his goal, selling over $1000 of popcorn. He and I spent part of yesterday trying to deliver the product and collect the rest of the money. I say "try" because many people weren't home. We went to about half of the homes we needed to deliver to, and only a handful of them were there. Thankfully all but one of those had cash, and the one check written to me is for a very small amount. This Saturday (if not before) we plan to deliver the rest in our neighborhood, and today we are delivering to 4 school employees as well as 3 instructors at Choi.

The older boys each had Catechism class on Saturday. Alex's is in the morning and this week it was "Family Advent Workshop". I figured with the word family in the title it would be a fun-filled learning experience for the whole family - well, the 3 boys and I at least. Not so much. While there was some learning, and there were a couple of fun hands-on activities, it was really just planned for the students themselves to do the activities with help from a parent. Personally, I would have called it "Parent and Student Advent Workshop". I wouldn't have dragged E and Little J along. Jack was being a typical preschooler, getting bored, wanting to do everything, talking loudly, etc. E learned a little but for the most part was bored. Next time, it will be just Alex and I or Jason.

Ethan had his confirmation class in the afternoon, and they are required to stay for Mass, and usually youth group. After dropping him off, I had a couple things to return to the store before picking Alex up to attend Mass with E. By the time we made it back to the church, we had about 10 minutes till the start of Mass. We saw Ethan standing up and singing with a little girl by the couple who run the music ministry and the piano. He saw me, finished the song, and came out into the entrance area to have a quick snack and let me know he was singing during Mass!! I knew they were going to be having the Confirmation students take on different roles in Mass, from music to altar servers and other needed areas, and it was nice to see E was chosen or volunteered. Throughout Mass, I could hear him singing the hymns loud and clear.

New shoes were needed for both Ethan and Alex, as they outgrew (and Alex managed to destroy, in 4 months...) their old shoes. After finding them each a new pair yesterday, we decided to go to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. I ordered something different - chicken chimichangas - and OH MY GOODNESS, were they so delicious!

We got home fairly early and the boys wanted to play Minecraft, and for the first time in a while, they actually played survival mode. I liked watching how they cooperated and were trading items. I learned a few things, and Jason and I both noticed how much they do get from this game, compared to so many others out there. After all three boys were in bed for the night, I decided to go read in the bedroom for a bit while Jason watched football. Nearly an hour later, I realized it had gotten very quiet (as in no TV noise), so I went to check on him. I thought for sure he'd fallen asleep or something. Nope. He was sitting there playing Minecraft in creative mode. I just laughed. He looked up and said "What?!" Nothing, nothing at all. Just kind of neat to see him playing it, without the boys even. I love that it's become a way for them all to bond, too.

A few other things: Ethan and Alex are still loving Choi, taking 3 classes a week. We bought a few private lessons (1 free each and 2 additional per), and they are taking their second this week. I noticed a huge difference after their first one last Thursday. They stayed for the 5pm family class, and normally E would have been getting upset over perceived mistakes, and Alex would have let his form slip. Both were on point and doing their absolute personal best!

They both know their highest pattern and yellow belt speed drill, and are possibly testing this coming Saturday for their GOLD belts!! Not quite 4 months in and they are just about ready for their second belt test! That's amazing. They are not the same kids, especially E, that started there all those months ago. Both of them have really blossomed, and are really more self-confident.

I asked them a couple of days ago to practice some push-ups for me, and they just said "ok, how many?" and busted out 10 like it was nothing. And I mean, pretty great push-ups! 4 months ago, heck, ONE month ago, you would have been hard-pressed to get them to do one without getting upset. They impressed me. They also practiced both their patterns and speed drills in each stance.

Ethan has been more communicative lately at home, expressing himself, asking more questions. Things like "I don't understand why anyone would WANT to go outside when it's cold out." He's been more clear on his opinion and how he feels when certain things happen, or why he doesn't like such and such. I've also caught him saying hi to other students that I've never met, and USING THEIR NAME! He's always had the tendency to not remember names, or just say hi after being prompted. But lately, he catches that they are talking to him, and responds appropriately or even initiates it. Another boy from school attends our church, and we saw him Saturday, and Ethan and I stood talking with him for a few minutes before Mass. He was looking forward to hanging out with E at youth group, which unfortunately got cancelled. Luckily they have class together and seem to have quite a bit in common. The other boy also attended the summer social skills camp Ethan did, and so I suspect he's on the spectrum as well. I like that because they have even more in common and "get" each other. E even asked me about emailing the young man a couple of weeks ago, and at the time I wasn't sure who he was talking about.

This week we have Choi classes on Mon, Tues and Friday, as well as private lessons on Thursday. Alex's pack meeting is on Wednesday with a flag retirement ceremony. Saturday, if they are ready, is belt testing. We signed up to help sort and distribute Thanksgiving food boxes at our parish on Sunday evening from 4-7. We decided on that before knowing that E was required to help either at that on Sunday or Monday or at the Christmas giving tree gift sorting/distribution in 3 weeks, for his Confirmation Christian Service hours. I'm glad we had already signed up, and that he wanted to before he knew he had to. He chose to give his time to help others. And now it's still going for his service hours :) We may try to sign up for the giving tree sorting too, but it's on Mon/Tue/Wed which are all usually super-busy. It's already been decided that we are each taking a tag to buy an item though.

In two weeks, on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we are attending Mass to celebrate the Rite of Acceptance with Ethan for his Confirmation. I remember mine, 9 years ago (Alex was just a baby at the time!) and my sponsors, fellow RCIA candidates and I when to the Basilica in Washington, DC. It was absolutely beautiful there. I've always wanted to go back and attend Mass as a Catholic Christian, but never made it before we moved from Maryland.

Last year, Alex wanted to sign up to light the Advent Wreath before Mass one weekend as a family, and we didn't. I've already signed us up this year, for December 7th. I'm hoping to dig out our personal Advent wreath and light our candles at home each Sunday as well. It's just a matter of finding it and the candles.

I'm taking this moment to remind myself that while we are busy, and this is the busy season of life - when kids are young, in school and activities, learning about life - it doesn't have to wear us down. WE have to be the ones that make the busy-ness of it enjoyable and fulfilling. While that's not always easy, and I've been failing miserably at that lately by complaining, it's a good goal to reach towards. Today is a new day, and even though we will be tired at bedtime, we will have enjoyed our time, and done something productive. At the end of it all, we will have a delicious home-cooked meal, and nice, warm beds to sleep in. So no complaining about being busy, it's a life we choose, Crystal. Enjoy it. Watch them grow, and learn, and live. Get out there and grow, learn and live with them. It's your life, too.

Not a robot

Today, I was having a conversation with the boys in the car. We were discussing Autism, and how it's a spectrum disorder, and that there are some children (some we know even) who are low-functioning, and some like E who are high-functioning.

Then the conversation took a slight turn. Our sons amaze me. Our oldest really made me stop in my tracks tonight.

E: When people say "functioning", it makes me think of robots.

Me, after thinking for a moment: You're right, buddy. It does sound more appropriate for robots, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like a very nice term to use for people, huh?

E: No, it doesn't.

Me: You're right. Thank you. I will try not to use that description again.

I'm so glad he is able to advocate for himself, whether he realizes it or not. This specific case was HUGE!

Just wanted to leave you all with that before I go to bed. My take on his words? It feels degrading to be described as "functioning". What's your take? What do you say, maybe without meaning anything by it, or without really much thought because it's a general term or "medically" recognized term, that may be damaging to others? How can you change that? I know he has me listening a little more to what I'm saying, and how it affects others.

School Daze (and we haven't even started yet!)

We had Open House at school last night. It was hectic, for sure. Always is. Tons of kids, grades K through 12 with parents and siblings, coming to find out their teacher, or schedule (6-12) and meet all of their teachers, and determine where all their classes are. Meeting the resource room teacher.

Poster in the Special Education Director's office

Alex is in the same classroom E was in for 5th grade. The teacher isn't the same, well kind of. She was the long-term sub when E's teacher was on maternity leave. That teacher has since moved to a different position and the teacher who subbed took over 2 years ago. So we've had some experience with her. She is nice and had her classroom all laid out with the books they will use, what kind of work she'd like to see on book reports, etc. They are going to do 6 book "projects" this year, where they read a book of their choosing - teacher-approved, of course - and then make a small project, such as a poster, brochure, diorama, etc, and then do a short oral presentation.

He doesn't know what days they have specials yet, but should be taking computers, art, music, gym and Spanish again this year. Last year, and throughout summer, Alex said he wanted to play soccer, but the last two weeks he changed his mind. After I signed him up. I even had all the paperwork at home filled out and ready to turn in last night. He had decided that he would at least sign up and go to the first practice to get practice and game info. His biggest reason for changing his mind? Cub scouts and Choi Kwan Do! He wants to make sure he has enough time to do both of those! What a smart kiddo. Well at least he wasn't to s ad when I realized I'd forgotten all the paperwork at home last night! He actually made sure to tell me that he was absolutely fine with it and he'd much rather work on earning belts at Choi, and awards in Scouts.

Alex was a little upset last night when he saw the class list for his teacher. While he knows several kids in his class, and he knew his best friend and a couple of other good friends wouldn't be in his class (they are in 4th grade and there's no 4/5 split this year), he had hoped a certain good friend would be in his class. Unfortunately he's in the other class. I was proud of him though, because he took it in stride and remembered that they would have lunch and recess together as well as all of his 4th grade friends :)

E is rotating classes this year. It's his first year rotating, because, as you may know, even though he's been in a regular education classroom with no aide since the beginning of 3rd grade, he was in a self-contained "elementary style" classroom for 6 & 7. They have such a large class size for his grade, that it's been split into 3 sections for all of middle school. Previously, due to interest from many families, they had 2 rotating sections - A & B - and one self-contained section - C. Because of the school size, logistics almost required it to be like that as well. At the end of last year, they did a survey asking if there was interest in staying with a SC class, and over the summer we received a letter stating that there was little to no interest, so there would be 3 rotating classes. The high school building was under construction during the summer and there was a small addition put on to one of the hallways. That will now be used for one of the sections of 8th grade. Section "A" was always seen as the "advanced" class, while not honors, they seemed to work at a slighter quicker pace. "B" did all the same curriculum but the pace may have been different. The kids have all been at the same levels for learning basically. They took the kids from self-contained last year and split them between B and C. No biggie. I was a little concerned about E being in B, because of the pace. He's smart and usually ahead in many subjects. B & C will be in the 4-8 building, while A will be in the high school. I was also concerned about him not having algebra this year, which is required for him to go to International Academy next year, should he apply.

I voiced my concerns last night, and I'm so glad I did. The HS resource room teacher made sure to talk to the vice principal for me, and I received a call today!

She wanted to reassure me, that although they aren't teaching Algebra as a class, they are offering the Algebra test for the students! They do it in April, and if they pass, they get credit for taking the class. Sometime in January, E's math teacher should give us some study topics (not a specific study guide and they won't actually be teaching it) to practice with, and they do apparently use an Algebra book (?). Also she wanted me to know that the only reason they didn't put him in "A" was because it's his first time rotating, and they didn't want to throw him into a whole new thing to quick. Since it will be a rotating section AND in the high school vs the middle school building that he knows well. She said if he does really well with rotating - handling transitions, frustrations, etc - as well as his grades, we can revisit it and consider switching him at the end of Trimester 1!!

So, now it comes down to this: Should we just let the math take it's course, or should we do some "homeschooling" for Algebra? And I don't mean extra practice. Basically a real class. Where I go get the Algebra book and Teacher's book, and we sit every day and have a half-hour lesson. More formal than just practice. So he doesn't feel like he has to just figure it out on his own. He's a very visual learner, and I think he will need to be taught some of the concepts he's never been introduced to. I know homeschooling isn't something Jason and I agree on, but they are still going to a traditional school. I'm just thinking of something extra, to give him an advantage when it comes to going to the school he wants to go to for high school. It's not about what I want here, it's about helping him. If the school isn't going to have a traditional Algebra class, but they are willing to test him to pass it, then he needs to actually be taught some of it, right? Thankfully, for him and I, math is fairly easy for him and one of his favorite subjects (math and science are top right now, followed closing by history. Of course he loves to read so reading is not too far behind. Writing and gym are definitely at the bottom of the list, though!), so even though it's not my best subject, with the help of some good textbooks, I think we will be just fine.

E has Art for 1st hour for Trimester 1, which he loves. MTSS(math/reading standards)(M,W-F)/Computers (T), Math, Reading, Social Studies, Lunch, Science and finally Writing. I think it's fortunate that 3 of his best subjects and one of his absolute favorites are in the morning, and his top favorite is right after lunch. He'll be able to concentrate without being hungry on Science. His least favorite is at the end of the day, after lunch and he can look forward to going home after. Hopefully he will get along with all of his teachers, and also continue to deal with frustration and transitions well. His perfectionist attitude has been coming out a lot in Choi Kwan Do, and we've been talking about it daily. I know that it can affect not only his attitude but his assignments, others' responses to him and the atmosphere in the classroom. Two of the teachers are new to the school this year (MTSS and Science), 1 (reading) worked in the preschool before but is new to the MS, 2 (Math and SS) have never taught E but we've talked and they know him, 1(writing) he had in an earlier grade and she knows his difficulties, but hasn't taught him in several years, and the computer teacher I'm not sure about. The art teacher is pretty awesome. He's been there since the school opened 12 years ago, and E had him in 6th and 7th grade. Mr G actually chose Ethan for the Spirit award for his classroom last year and said he saw how much he'd grown and how hard he'd worked on dealing with his frustrations! E is looking forward to Tuesday morning :)

I really need to help Little J  with his potty-training. It's so hit or miss, and I know better than to rush or force it, but I'd really like to have him fully potty-trained day and night by January (October would be better ;) ). I want to put him in preschool at least part-time, during the day, so I can pursue some dreams of my own. More on that later, once the plans are set in stone.

A Month of Ethan - July TBT #5 AND (a slightly late) birthday post all rolled in to one!

12 years. That's how old our boy turned on Tuesday. TWELVE! I know that's not super-old or anything, but when it's your first-born reaching that milestone, it can feel like it. The years have flown by. We are so proud of you, Ethan!!

July 29th, 2002. Ethan's delivery was a little difficult. My labor had slowed somewhat, and I was put on pitocin to speed it up. My ob's office had 2 different doctors, and of course the one on duty that night, for most of my labor, was horrible :( She THREATENED me with a c-section if I didn't hurry up and push that baby out. Not that a c-section is a bad thing, it was just the way she treated me and said it to me. I was 21 and having my first child with no family around besides my poor tired husband! Thankfully, not long after that there was a shift change and the other OB came in. She was much kinder and respectful. We were concerned because Ethan's heart rate was dropping, but, she told me, not enough to do a c-section. Once he was born, we quickly realized why. His umbilical cord had wrapped around his neck twice cutting off the circulation some. He was fine though, and didn't need any interventions. Apgar scores were great and he was crying loudly.

Me, 7 months pregnant with Ethan, and Jason's Grandma (my baby shower)

My sweet boy and I. Just a few minutes old.

He was born on a Monday. Ethan and I stayed in the hospital until Wednesday, and I'm genuinely glad we did. It was discovered early Wednesday that he had a heart murmur. Many times it is an innocent murmur. In E's case, he has Ventricular Septal Defect, a hole in the septum of the ventricle of his heart. It was small, but there. Over the years, he has seen a cardiologist many times to monitor it. At first, he had a lot of trouble gaining weight, eventually (after we had a hard time breastfeeding and he was put on formula) being fed higher calorie formula. He has been very lucky in that he has never needed surgery or medication for his heart condition, and the hole has been slowly closing all this time. He still has a murmur and the hole is currently still there, but he only goes to the cardiologist every 2-3 years now. (Ethan does NOT like getting echocardiograms done :( )

Mommy, Daddy and Ethan (around 3 weeks old)

Summer 2003

Cake and ice cream, 2nd birthday, 2004

Ethan and Grandma O, National Zoo, Washington, DC, May 2005

Ethan and his 5th grade teacher, Mrs. L, Halloween 2011

Alex and Ethan, after his first spelling bee win, Feb 2012

Ethan with Jackson, April 2012

Being silly before his middle school dance, 2012

Age 3

Ethan and his first friend Jocelyn, about 18mo-2y

Ethan and Jocey, they were about a year old

Ethan and daddy (top 2: around 4 or 5 months, bottom: about 2)

Over the years, Ethan has had his fair share of struggles and triumphs. At around 18 months, he was diagnosed with communication delays, and we suspected Autism. He received in home services from then, until we moved from Maryland to Ohio. Around 3 he finally started to speak, and promptly started reading!! In Ohio he started preschool for a couple of months, with special services, and went on to half-day kindergarten that fall. During that time he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, and was given his first IEP.

We moved to a different house, and unfortunately he had to switch schools. Full day kindergarten, many phone calls home, and difficulty with bullies made for a tough 5 months. After finding out more than a month into the switch that they "didn't know about his IEP", I was furious for him. It was most definitely given to them, by myself and the old school. They did "find" it though. The next few years of school were all over the place for little E. We tried a Catholic school for first grade, but he was essentially kicked out due to lack of services available (I get it, but they did know prior to him starting about his diagnosis and said it was ok. I didn't appreciate the teacher saying he was "RUDE" because he would throw tantrums and yell "at" her or correct her. In all honesty, it was part of his Autism, and while not okay to disrespect others, we were still trying to figure out how to help him respond appropriately. Yelling at him, or sending him out of the classroom constantly was not helping... but I digress) We decided to send him to a special school for kids on the spectrum, and he excelled. In fact, they were the first to realize - besides us, of course - that he was brilliant and bored with the classwork. They moved him to second grade in November, and by January he was being "mainstreamed" into the typical classroom, with an aide. It was around this time, we took him to a psychologist and got the new diagnosis of Asperger's, which is still on the spectrum like PDD-NOS, and possibly ADHD. After given the choice to try medication (risperdal) and doing some research, we declined.

Over the summer, we moved yet again, to Michigan where daddy works. For third grade, E started at a charter school, and while that year was a tough one, he made a lot of progress. Since then E has done amazing, not only in school, but socially he's taken so many steps in the right direction, in part thanks to the amazing teachers he had in 4th-7th grade. He won the school and charter school spelling bees two years in a row, making it to the regional bee for the Scripps' National Spelling Bee and although he didn't make it to the end, he did well and managed his emotions also.

In the past year, E has made some amazing strides. Back in September, we went to a neurologist and after some discussion, with Ethan's approval, we decided on some medication to help with his anxiety. Not only has it helped with that, it has helped his focus. This year, he met 1 of his IEP goals by June (his runs Oct-Oct) and made a lot of progress on all of the others. He only had social/behavioral goals this year, which is different from the previous ones.

Ethan is an amazing, caring big brother. His empathy for others is quite astounding. He wants to make sure you are happy, and will sacrifice his own happiness to do what his brothers want many times. Ethan is kind, funny and so smart. Be careful telling him things, because if you are incorrect and he knows it, he will not hesitate to correct you! His favorite subjects are Math, History, and Science. He has mentioned wanting to become a teacher or an actor! Some of his favorite things to do are draw comics, play minecraft and other video games, and read books. He's especially loving James Patterson's middle school books right now.

I have loved watching him grow up to become this wonderful young man he is now. It's not always easy for him, but he tries so hard to be positive and he's learning to express himself when he's having a hard time or needs something specific. Whether it's a hug or time alone. In the coming year, E plans to try a couple of new activities. The dr tested his cholesterol yesterday, after it being slightly elevated last year, and found it to still be elevated. He eats pretty well, but doesn't get much exercise. While he is most definitely not overweight (4'9" and 82.6lbs), he needs to move more. After some discussion, Ethan has decided he would like to try Karate, and possibly yoga, as well as more swim lessons. I'm going to do my best to encourage him and help him. Not just for the cholesterol, but because I think emotionally the more he moves the better off he will be. Plus it will be just plain fun and he can meet some new people!

Mom and Dad love you, buddy. Keep up the good work, and just think, in one year, you will be a teenager! Time flies, so enjoy being a kid this year!

A Month of Ethan - July TBT #4

Ethan with daddy, around 4 or 5 months old. Fall, 2002

A Month of Ethan - July TBT #3

Ethan on his 6th birthday

Checking out one of his favorite things at the time, a new map!

A Month of Ethan: July TBT #2

I hesitated on sharing this one, because it's not a smiling, happy picture. It was taken at his 2nd birthday party, July 2004.

I look back at the pictures from the time Ethan was a little over a year old till around age 3 and see a lot of this "look". Almost a blank stare, lost in his own world, and honestly it makes me a bit sad. Only because we didn't know what was going on, that he had autism, that it was "ok" and how to help him work through things, and not want to just change things. I wish I'd known how to advocate for him better when he was little. Part of me just wanted to make him "all better" because I didn't want life to be hard for him.

Looking at him today, now, I wouldn't change anything about Ethan. I'm not saying I'm glad he has Autism, because there are things that make it hard for him to cope with everyday situations, but it's part of who he is, part of his personality, his quirks and his lovely traits! I love ALL of that about my oldest boy, and that's why I'd never ask for him to be different. If someone came to me tomorrow and said "We have a cure for Autism, all he has to do is A, B, C", I'd tell them "Only if HE wants to, because it's part of him. I love him for him." Just like I'd never want to change anything that is a part of who I am.

We are so blessed to have Ethan as our son and brother. I'm so proud of him in so many ways. He's learned to use his struggles to his advantage, and his "obsessions" to make life fun for him and us! 

A month of Ethan - July TBT #1

This month, it's Ethan's turn. He gets to celebrate the big 1-2 this year, his last "official" pre-teen birthday! I can't believe how fast time has flown. I'll save the mushy stuff for his actual birthday post but here's a cute baby picture for now :)

Summer 2003 @ the zoo w/ grandparents

Look at that smile! Those teeth! Speaking of teeth, he was so excited to tell us on the phone yesterday that he'd finally lost his canine tooth that had been lose for "3 weeks!".

2014 Goals - Where are we now?

Turning 33 isn't really a milestone birthday by any means, but I do feel like I'm getting older, and at the same time, I know I am still young and have (God willing!) a long, long life ahead of me. Many years to enjoy my husband and marriage, to watch my children grow up and go to college, get married, start their own families. Then I think about the fact that it's already April... and it doesn't feel like we have accomplished much this year in terms of our goals.

So today is as good a day as any to sit down and reevaluate. To see where we are, what we have done, and what isn't working or we want to add to the goals.

When it comes to my personal get fit goals, I've been failing miserably. I'm going to give myself a pass on the past. I can't change what I did or didn't do yesterday. I can only move forward and GET MOVING! I will spare you the details of my weight in numbers, but know this: I have not lost any more weight and *may* have packed on a few extra pounds. With it being spring now, I think being able to get out of the house and enjoy the beautiful weather should help. Bike rides and walks during the day with Jack, park trips with the older boys, etc.

Switching back to organic has been slow going. We've been changing some things over, but for the most part we are stuck. I don't want to raise our grocery budget and we feel comfortable with what we can purchase with that amount but only if we buy a majority of "conventional" foods in terms of the expensive items, like meat, dairy and even some produce. I'd rather my kids get more conventional fresh fruit than less organic fresh fruit, and at this time, it just doesn't feel feasible to add $100 or more each week to our budget. We are saving for our first long-distance family vacation so we can pay cash vs using credit, and trying to slowly pay down credit cards. I know I don't need to justify myself but I want to explain.

Dairy is still pretty prevalent in our home, though I feel I'm eating significantly less. We have been trying new recipes consistently, including the delicious sloppy joe one I shared on Facebook.

Our doctor and dentist goals haven't had much progress, but I did hear about a doctor for Jason and I. It's just a matter of calling and scheduling an appointment. Dentist appointments will be scheduled very soon. I am considering not worrying about my wisdom teeth as they are not causing any issues.

Jackson's thumb surgery has been done and his thumb is finally almost fully healed. Keeping it clean is not the easiest with a two year old, but luckily he loves his Lightning McQueen bandaids! We took the final one off last night before bed, and surprisingly he was upset that we didn't put a new one on. To the point of tears! We felt since it looks completely healed (it had a small bump a few days ago still) and since the last bandaid actually irritated a small patch on the other side of his thumb that it was time to let it just breathe.

I haven't made much headway with reading 50 books this year. I thought I would have more done but haven't finished a single book since my last update! I did borrow 6 books from the library on Friday that I hope to read by the end of April, and purchased 6 new books from the book fair (The Hunger Games trilogy, and three ghost story books by Mary Downing Hahn - although those are definitely kids' books, I loved the one I read by her as a child and thought the boys could also read them). So my current count is still at 1.

I restarted my knitting project for the 3rd time, and I've decided it's going to be a scarf. I think. Haha. I haven't even started thinking about learning to crochet, and my Spanish and German have taken a backseat. Mostly because I've just kind of forgotten to use the duolingo app.

Having added Genealogy and making our family trees to my personal goals for the year, I've been working on Ancestry diligently and love using the Ancestry app on my tablet and phone. We've seen some really neat old documents like census records and war records, as well as yearbook photos and other family photos from distant relatives. Sharing this leads me to another goal for the year: stepping outside my comfort zone! I recently contacted a relative I never knew about: a cousin of my dad's! I learned that my grandmother's biological father had remarried and while he died very young in the early 50's, he and his 2nd wife had two children. My grandma knew about them but had only met them once. I had some details my aunt had shared with me and without revealing too much, I contacted a woman who had a picture attached to the man I thought was my great-grandfather and asked if he had been married before or had any other children, etc. She responded and confirmed the information I had from my aunt about his death and remarriage prior to that. I found out that she is the child of one of his other children, and we are planning to meet soon. There is more to share, but I want to share with my grandmother first as it is very special and I am hoping to see her sometime this week to tell her all of this exciting stuff!

Obviously posting 2-3 times a week on here has NOT been happening but now that I have the laptop, I seriously hope that I actually spend some time writing more often. All the other personal goals haven't had any progress as of yet.

Ethan:
Finished first session of Level 2 in swimming and was *this close* to moving to the next level.
Participated in Annie, Jr at school (play).
Considering starting a Minecraft club at school with mom's help.
Has read the following books and is currently at 15 books for the year: Little House on the Prairie, By the Shores of Silver Lake, The Long Winter, Little Town on the Prairie, Big Nate in the zone, Big Nate flips out, Big Nate goes for broke, Big Nate in a class by himself, Big Nate on a roll, Big Nate strikes again, Korea book (can't remember the title), The Jacket, Essential guide to Minecraft.

Alex:
Finished Level 1 of swimming and moved up to Level 2 for next session.
Participated in Annie, Jr at school and really enjoyed it. Contemplating theater day camp in August.
Fractions are mostly mastered and he's working on the harder problems at school.
Has read the following books and is currently at 17 books for the year: Little House on the Prairie, Little House in the Big Woods, By the Shores of Silver Lake, The Long Winter, Little Town on the Prairie, Little House in Brookfield, Little Town at the Crossroads, Big Nate in the zone, Big Nate flips out, Big Nate goes for broke, Big Nate in a class by himself, Big Nate on a roll, Big Nate strikes again, Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events no. 9 and Super Fudge.

Jack:
Moved to own room.
In a toddler bed and sleeps well at night, most nights.
Knows blue, purple, red, green, yellow, orange, brown, and black. Gets confused on white and pink.
Can count to two most times, and 3 sometimes. Skips numbers but tries to count higher.
Recognizes most letters and sings the majority of the Alphabet song correctly.
Knows circle, triangle, square, diamond.

First update in quite a while!

Finally! It feels so nice to be typing on the laptop and actually writing! I'm pleased with the work the computer repair place did. It was a great price too. While we had to wait almost 3 weeks because the screen was backordered, they replaced it within about 3 hours this past Saturday. We were using the laptop hooked up to our desktop monitor. Not very convenient. The only time we were even bothering was to pay bills or for Jason to do his homework.

It's been a very busy couple of months around here. Ethan and Alex finished swim lessons for this session just a couple of weeks ago, Catechism is wrapping up for the year this next weekend (I believe) and all the hard work they put in to play rehearsal paid off. Saturday was spent at Catechism in the morning followed by "call" at 5pm and the show at 7pm. I went alone to watch that night, while Jason stayed home with Jackson. It turned out so great! The director did a great job casting the parts. The actress who played Annie has an amazing singing voice! As well as many of the other actors and actresses. Ethan and Alex did good in their parts. I wish I would have gotten some pictures or video but no luck. On Sunday, Jason's parents came up for a visit and to go to the show. The boys had to be there at 1, and the show started at 3pm. Jackson slept for about half of it and near the end he got antsy so we stepped out. It worked out nicely since I had gone the previous night. Everyone else was able to enjoy the show.

We had the Blue and Gold banquet a few weeks ago for cub scouts and my parents came up for it. It was really nice.

My dad's SMILING!! For a PICTURE!!

My beautiful momma and handsome daddy! They just celebrated 41 years of marriage!

My dad showing the boys his Eagle Scout card!

Daddy and Jack-Jack <3

Our Pinewood Derby was March 23rd and Jason's family came to watch and to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. It was great to see Jason's dad, sisters, brother and niece. We missed having his mom come up but were glad his mom and dad made it to the play. Alex's car did really well coming in 2nd and 3rd for each race. While he didn't win a trophy OR a spot in the regional races, he had so much fun and loved making his car this year. We all got to see Jason in action emceeing the race. He's such a ham...

Last week, Jackson and I spent the whole week volunteering at the Scholastic book fair. It was crazy busy for a lot of the time, but we had a good time. He keeps begging to go to the "library" - where we held the fair - and to school, since he got to hang out in the preschool classrooms on and off throughout the week. I am so thankful to the preschool teachers and the other 2 moms who were also working at the fair, including the fair chairperson. She did an amazing job with it, while also working in the preschool in the mornings. She was always right there when I had a question or needed a hand and I hope I did as good a job as she says I did. She even bought pizza Friday night for my boys and I and her family! And took Alex to the spring carnival while E, Jack and I kept the fair open late that night! Talk about awesome teamwork. I would work with her again in a heartbeat. Plus she's such a nice lady! Shout out to CINDY!!

I wanted to write a quick update on our winter fun list so here goes.

We dropped a few more things: sledding; snowman/snowfamily; ice bubbles; s'mores; origami; coloring contest.

We did the following but mostly without pictures: paint a picture - just mom and Jackson; make a fort; play payday - just the boys.

Also I decided to move a few things to our Spring activities. It will be an "unofficial" bucket list and will most likely blend over into Summer. Just things we still want to do but haven't yet. No pressure. Those items are: Lego movie; bonfire; ice skating - indoor arenas are plentiful; go for a hike; video game contest; Detroit Institute of Art; Detroit Historical museum; library event.

The family portrait is being added to our 2014 goals.

Unfortunately, we fell very far behind on our "Saint studies". The nice thing about it not being required is that we can do it at our own pace and will catch up and keep going throughout the year :)

Tomorrow I'll share a 2014 goals update since it's somewhat long!

By the way, April is Autism awareness month! In fact, today is World Autism Awareness! Let's not just promote awareness, but acceptance.

2014 Goals: Part 4 - The little Hamers

*A quick note about these goals. I have asked the boys for their input on these, but they have yet to get back to me. I am writing up some things that Jason and I would like for them to achieve as well as things we know they can achieve. I will add more as they share their own selections. *

Ethan

1. Complete Level 2-4 of swimming lessons. Currently enrolled in Level 2 as part of our Winter Fun List activities. We are hoping to "graduate" to the next level and finish Levels 3 and 4 over the spring and summer.
2. Read 50 books. He will be keeping a list to share with mom and dad.
3. Start learning a second language, his choice.
4. Participate in a play. There is a school musical in March, and he has auditioned. We should know something soon.
5. Learn to cook at least 3 recipes/meals/foods. Considering signing up for a cooking class at the rec center.
6. Take a video game design class through our rec center.
7. Make a comic book and share!
8. Volunteer with mom.
9. Go to overnight camp.
10. Go to a school dance. This will be easy as there's one coming up!

Alex

1. Complete Level 1-4 of swimming lesson. Currently enrolled in level 1 but as he has previously taken and was *this.close* to "graduating", they may move him to level 2 (it was in late 2011/early 2012 when he and Ethan took their first classes, so he has had a couple of years of practice in his grandparents pool.) Hoping to finish Levels 2-4 throughout the spring, summer and fall.
2. Earn his Bear badge for Cub Scouts. He has actually finished all his requirements, we are just waiting now ;)
3. Become a Webelos Scout.
4. Earn 5-10 belt loops for Scouts. We just found out last night that as of March 2015, they are discontinuing the belt loop program, so he is hoping to earn a few more before then.
5. Participate in a play. Same as Ethan, he has auditioned for the school musical and should know in the next few days.
6.  Read 50 books. He will also keep a list for mom and dad.
7. Start learning a second language of his choice. He takes Spanish still in school, so he may consider expanding on that using Duolingo.
8. Learn to cook at least 3 new foods/recipes/meals. Also considering a cooking class at the rec center.
9.  Practice and master fractions. He can do it but seems to be having a bit of a hard time with them.
10. Go to overnight Cub Scout camp!
11. Go to overnight camp with E. 

 Jackson

1. Potty-training!!! YAY! ;)
2. Move to his own room. Yes, he's currently still in our room, but in his crib most of the night from bedtime till 3am or later. He's been sleeping better every night, and last night, not even a peep from 8:45pm till 6:15am! Thankfully we have a guest/extra bedroom, we just need to clear out the queen bed and E's desk. I have some ideas on how to rearrange the house to still allow E a "private area" for homework.
3. Transition from crib to twin/toddler bed. I'd LOVE to get him a car or fire engine bed or even a train!!
4. Level A and B swimming lessons. This month's sessions for his age groups that are at an open time are full, so he isn't enrolled yet. We are hoping to enroll in March, and continue through the summer. He can't take Level C until he's 3 but then may be able to repeat to keep learning/practicing.
5. Learn some simple words in German. I chose German for him, because of my own knowledge of the language and ability to teach him some objects, foods, colors, etc. It will truly be simple words, as my skill level, especially for teaching, is beginner/intermediate. Should be fun, though!
6. Learn colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, white, brown. Currently working on.
7. Learn basic shapes. Square, Rectangle, Triangle, Circle, Oval, Star, Diamond, Crescent. Somewhat knows most, and is able to actually name them. Can point to correctly most of them, when asked, most of the time.
8. Learn to count to 10. Currently counts to 2 consistently and occasionally 3 and 4.
9. Learn his ABC's. He currently knows A-G of the ABC song :)
10. Spend the night at his grandparent's house. This may be harder for me than him...

Speaking for him

As anyone who's read this blog or knows my family is aware, our oldest son Ethan has Autism. Asperger's Syndrome, more specifically. They've read about or heard about or seen different things, whether it's a triumph or a tribulation or struggle. I would never wish change on him, but do hope to help him when he's having a hard time. To teach him life skills and coping mechanisms when times get tough, and to learn from him when it comes to so many things, like how he sees the world or what's important or cool to him.

Controversy is a tough thing for me to deal with. I have avoided discussing Autism Speaks for a while, because there has been a lot of controversy surrounding them. I don't have all the facts, but what I do know, well it doesn't make me happy. I was once in the boat of "how to fix", rather than "how to help and how to adapt my own views", when it came to ASD. In that, let me be honest. I don't mean that I wanted to make him not have Autism, but I wanted to "fix" all the difficult things that came with it. Now I see them not as something to fix, or a hurdle to overcome, but something to embrace and use to his advantage. Anxiety can be alleviated to help him see problems for what they truly are. His obsessions can grow into a great outlet, maybe a career someday! (Video games, anyone? or even math and maps could help be an engineer or teacher!) His point of view on the world can be a refreshing change, if you look at it as not wrong because it's not yours, but different, because isn't different what makes the world go 'round?!

When I read that John Elder Robison stepped down from his position at Autism Speaks, I was somewhat surprised. I had read (most) of his book, and hadn't really even known he worked with/for them. I had heard other things over the years. After reading several blog posts about them "not speaking" for the blogger's family, etc. it made me think some.

What I want to say is this: Regardless of whether you agree with that organization, they do NOT speak for my son. Truly, no organization does.

I speak for Ethan. 
Jason speaks for Ethan.
His brothers speak for him.
Grandma Marsha and Grandpa Joe speak for him.
Grandma Linda and Grandpa Gale speak for him.
Aunt Jorie and Uncle Matt. Uncle Jeff. Aunt Madison. Aunt Heather and Uncle Matt. Aunt Linda and Uncle Desi. They all speak for him.
His cousins speak for him.
Great-aunts and great-uncles and great-grandparents speak for him.
Classmates, friends, and teachers speak for him.
Every time they speak up for him, listen to him, advocate for him, talk TO him, befriend him, teach him, learn from him, they speak for him. It's in their actions, just as it is in how they interact with everyone else. They don't treat him differently, "special", they treat him with the same love and care as everyone else. And you know why? Because it's not more difficult nor should anything different be expected!

But most importantly, Ethan speaks for himself! In his actions, his words, his triumphs and his struggles. He is learning to stand up for himself and to BE WHO HE IS MEANT TO BE! The caring, sweet, funny, map-loving mathematician who excels at video games, and is an avid reader.

That is all.

Family field trip

Today, I kept the boys out of school and we took a field trip.

Target sponsored a Family Day at The Henry Ford Museum, meaning admission and parking was free! Since the reason behind the family day was honor and remembrance of the 50th anniversary of JFK's assassination, we were going to try and see the car from Dallas.

Our morning started a little slow with the boys all sleeping to 7:30 or even 8! I snuck out of our bedroom, which Jack currently shares with us, and took a quick shower while he slept a bit longer. When I got out, he had just woken up, E was up reading, and Alex was still in bed, but waking up.
After making a quick breakfast for the boys, I went through our weekly budget and started some laundry.

Before we left, I printed off a little packet of activities about JFK including a coloring sheet, vocab list, crossword, word search, and a multiple choice quiz for the boys to do in the car.

We made it down there just before 11am and got to see many really neat things. There are tons of old farm equipment, cars, carriages, furniture, appliances and housewares, trains, airplanes, an Abraham Lincoln exhibit, the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile, a bus diner and many other things. I think our favorite might have been a really neat LEGO city with skyscrapers taller than me! There was so much detail, from the cornfield to the helicopters, a concert stage to the Willys building! The boys were enthralled by it.

I realized something about Alex today. He is definitely our budding photographer. He got an inexpensive digital camera last Christmas, but it got misplaced sometime during the year. Alex really wanted to take pictures, so since I had our nice camera with us to take some pictures, he was put in charge of it ;) He did a pretty good job and asked how to use the zoom and other buttons. I have to upload the pictures still but I can't wait to go through all of them.

We did have a couple of things that could have gone smoother. First, lunch. We didn't pack because I'd forgotten the expense of eating there... That and the "restaurants" weren't easy to navigate with 2 boys and a toddler in a stroller by myself. The first one only had hot dogs, which E won't eat - it's a sensory thing. The 2nd one had no place to sit and 4 daily specials, none of which any of us wanted. The third is a cafeteria style set-up. Think hospital cafeteria, where there are 3 different main "kitchen" areas: a grill, an "oven" and a salad bar, and then a refrigerated section with yogurt, desserts, and bottled drinks, and a fountain drink, plus the cashier. Now add about 30 people beside your family. It was really difficult to navigate the stroller while carrying a tray overloaded with food. We managed to find a seat after a minute and hurriedly ate our food, as the people who sat beside us were less than polite to the employee and made me uncomfortable.

Jackson needed cleaned up, and when we made it to the bathroom, the older boys sat outside while I went in to change him. There was no changing table :( so I had to use what I can only assume is a designated changing area on the counter top. As I lifted him out of the stroller, I discovered he had wet through his onesie and pants, and had a dirty, not just wet diaper! I'm so glad I remembered to grab a clean outfit before we left. While practically wrestling with him to change his clothes, I heard a mom and her kids coming in, and one of them asked her where the boys in the hallway's mom was. She said something along the lines of "I don't know where their mom is" with a somewhat exasperated, if not judgmental tone. As she was walking in the door, I said "the boys in the chairs? Yeah, they're mine. I thought they were too old to be in the women's restroom". She said sorry if she sounded judgmental, that she was tired, etc. I'm sure she didn't mean anything, but I wanted her to know they were being left unsupervised to roam the museum. :)

We walked around some more, and then Jack needed changed again, and since he had another dirty diaper, I used the last few wipes in my purse. The boys were all pretty exhausted so we decided to call it a day at around 3pm. We didn't get to see the Presidential car because there was a super long line due to the day.

It was a good time, and I think they learned something, plus saw some really cool stuff. The museum has changed since the last time we were there a few years ago, with some new exhibits.

If I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open right now, I'd upload all our pictures, but they will have to wait till tomorrow. I'm so glad that we decided to play hooky and take a family fun day instead. 

I definitely learned a lesson though from today: Pack lunches or leave and eat elsewhere. Bring a backpack with plenty of diapers, wipes and maybe even 2 outfits for Jack. Know that I can trust my older boys to wait outside the restroom for me while I change Jack and/or use the restroom myself. Although, we did come out to them NOT sitting where I told them to, but standing over by the ATM "checking out all the signs". Silly boys.

How is Ethan doing?

I've had a few people inquire about Ethan and how he's doing. I haven't really updated in a while now is a good a time as any.

It's been almost two months since we decided to have him start taking the Prozac. Within a few days, we saw changes in him. He started opening up more at home, and dealing with frustration better. It seems as though at school, he's been doing great too. Even when he does get upset, he calms himself easier, and I don't think I have heard of even one instance of him needing to leave the classroom!

Now I know some of this is due to him starting to mature, but I feel like the medication is helping him cope too. E has told me he's able to calm himself and keep the frustration "in his head" more, rather than having verbal outbursts. Not always, but much more often. Things that would have disappointed him previously immensely? Yeah, they don't seem to bother him as much. If he misses a day - yesterday for example - we see a drastic change in his coping skills. He's very whiny and overly emotional about certain things, especially video games.

E has even done wonderful in gym. First trimester is over now, and so is gym, but my child who hates anything athletic/active (for the most part) made it through no problem, even getting an A-, with an A on the last two tests. One was 25 correctly done sit-ups, and the other was 25 correctly done push-ups!

He starts study skills today, and I really believe he will get so much more out of it this year than last. He reminded me yesterday that he will probably need a binder and looseleaf paper. This is not something he would have thought of before, and when asked this morning what he needed to do if he got a syllabus from his teacher today, he responded with "bring it to you, mom!" (with a little sarcasm, like duh, mom! LOL)

We were discussing on the way to school what he thought he might have next trimester, Spanish or Art.

E: I hope I have art!

Mom: Really? I thought art is stressful to you?

E: It is, but I'm not going to let that hold me back from doing art!

That right there made me so proud of him!!! I said something like I'm proud of you buddy, and I know how much you like to draw so I'm glad. :)

I also told him that he is such a good example not only to his younger brothers but me to not give up even when something is hard or stressful for us!

6 months ago, I don't think he would have said that, or been able to express a lot of what goes on in his head sometimes. Especially when it has to do with stress, anxiety and frustration. That's not to say he wasn't or couldn't communicate well. He just couldn't explain how he felt and then when a situation became frustrating or upsetting, he had an even harder time not only dealing with the situation, but explaining his feelings and thoughts. It's like a cloud has lifted for him, and I'm so grateful. I never thought we'd put him on medication, and even though it has been one of the hardest decisions we've made as parents, it has definitely, so far, been one of the best ones.

My boys all amaze me everyday, and show me that anything is possible.

Another quick story about E. He was in the MTSS classroom for reading remediation (his scantron scores dropped due to him rushing through the tests, and it's procedure for him to go there, regardless of his ACTUAL ability...) and they were reading about carnivores. The teacher asked if we are carnivores and E said "well, actually, we are omnivores!" The teacher had him define omnivore and explain to the class why as humans, traditionally at least, we are omnivores! She said he seemed to enjoy "teaching" the class, LOL. Also she told me that even though he's in there, it's hard, because the other students are working at 3rd-7th grade reading comprehension, and he's got it all and should be working on TENTH GRADE reading comprehension!!! But he's an absolute joy to have in her classroom, her words, not mine. :)

We have conferences for E and Alex next Tuesday right after school. I already know their grades though.

Ethan:

• Math - A
• Reading - A
• Science - A
• Social Studies - A
• Gym - A-
• English - B+

Alex:

• Spelling - A
• Social Studies - A
• Science - A
• Handwriting - A
• Gym - A
• Spanish - A
• Math - A-
• Reading - B+
• English - B

Our attempt at a dye-free Halloween

Halloween can be quite challenging when it comes to one thing that we try to do. We aren't perfect about it, but we avoid artificial, petroleum-based food dyes when possible. With all the candy and treats that we have no control over, it seems it would prove very difficult, right?

Today's celebrations start with a small party in Alex's class - E's class doesn't have one as they are middle schoolers - and that entails cookies with frosting and sprinkles, juice boxes, and candy.

I signed up to bring juice boxes and sprinkles because Alex requested it. We chose Capri Sun 100% juice boxes, and that made it easy to avoid dyes as well as HFCS, though I'm sure there are healthier options. Sprinkles were a little more difficult. Of course, I don't want him to feel bad about not having colored sprinkles like the other kids, but he understands our reasons. We did find plain chocolate sprinkles that don't have artificial dyes. (It was odd though, one well-known brand had small containers of chocolate sprinkles with no dyes but their large containers of chocolate sprinkles had red 40, yellow and blue - can't remember the exact #'s - dyes!) I remembered seeing organic sprinkles somewhere, and we found them at Kroger. They aren't as vibrant - more pastel in color - and were $3.99 for a 1oz package. Well worth it though to make the boy happy :) Here's the brand we bought Let's Do Organic Sprinkelz Organic Confetti *note the link is for bulk 12 pk on Amazon.com*

He understands those are JUST for him, and I explained to the teacher the deal. She was very understanding and actually asked if he was supposed to have cupcakes and things on days other students brought birthday treats. I told her that we feel he is old enough and understands and that he can make an informed decision. I know sometimes he will choose to eat the bright blue and green and pink frosted cupcakes, and other times he will decline. He knows how he feels later and the next day or two and whether it's worth it. Also, I am only concerned with what is in my control. If I can send an alternative for a party, then I will. If I don't know what/when a birthday treat is, it's truly ok.

Back to the topic at hand. Trick or treating today may actually be cancelled or delayed due to bad thunderstorms predicted including high winds. If it was just a little rain, we'd still go out, but we'll see. All the candy that the boys will receive will undoubtedly include brightly colored candy, gum, jawbreakers, licorice, and who knows what. We are going to sort the candy and the boys can keep anything that is dye-free. Then they have a couple of choices. We can go buy dye-free lollipops and gummy bears to trade them for things they can't have; they can combine all their "no thank-yous" and leave it for the switch witch to trade an item; we can keep some things for a gingerbread house at Christmas time; or a combination of the 3. I think if they choose the switch witch, she will bring them a gift card to buy something they want. I'm considering not even doing the "switch witch" and just telling them they can trade mom and dad candy for a toy/gift card. I guess I should probably decide pretty quick, since today is Halloween ;)

I know some may think I'm ruining their fun, and a few years ago I may have felt the same way. But I know what's right for my family and my boys. They still get to dress up in costumes, go trick-or-treating and eat some candy but they don't get an overload nor will they eat tons of petroleum-based dyes. 

After E's 4th grade science experiment, and the results, I will never doubt our decision and the position we have on those dyes. Don't know what I'm talking about? Long story short: E had 2 mice and a maze. Both were given regular water and food and ran the maze for a week. Times got progressively better. One of the mice was given red food coloring in his water for a week. The other was not - he was the "control". During the second week of maze trials, the mouse given red dye got slower and couldn't figure out the maze. His times went from around 60 seconds to an ending time the last day of over FIVE minutes. He also became aggressive, erratic and confused. We used food coloring that you buy at the store and just put a few drops in his water bottle. No more than what people eat DAILY! After stopping the experiment, his behavior seemed to return to his pre-dye state. The "control" mouse kept similar times during the entire two weeks and his behavior never changed. The maze was never changed so logically after a week of running it, they knew the route pretty well. It was very interesting and E worked very hard on it. Again, I will never doubt our decision after seeing the difference.

Dinner time conversations

Tonight, I was cracking up laughing at my guys. The conversation started with Jason asking what Ethan was looking at, if he had something in his ear or on his face or something. It went something like this:

E: yeah, you have a flat screen tv in your ear. Oof. Here, I got it out. *pretends to hold a giant flat screen with his head turned sideways, looking like his ear is on the ground*

Jas: You look like an Indian scout listening to the ground. Tonto!

E: What's Tonto?

Alex: It's Pluto and it's a planet!

Me: *laughing starts*

Jas: NO *laughing* It's Tonto, he was The Lone Ranger's guide and friend

Alex: OH!! Toto!!

Me: *more laughing*

Jas: *laughing* No Toto was in The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy's dog

E and Alex: *laughing hysterically*

Jas: *out of the blue* Kevin the wonderful.

Then he proceeded to make up an idea for a cartoon that would be like adventure time, but not. Kevin that looks like the guy from minecraft, his dog Crouton, and their little ninja named Lysol. They live in a refrigerator cardboard box. It would be called Quest Seconds or something. His whole story line was pretty hilarious.

From Public to Private to Specialized to Charter: Our Education Journey So Far

Since yesterday's post disappeared and erased over half of this, I had to try and rewrite it. I hope I didn't leave anything out! And hopefully the internet won't eat it again ;)

When Ethan was about 18 months old, and we were still living in Southern Maryland, we had him evaluated through the early childhood education program. This was our first experience as parents with any kind of "school". Ms. Kim was awesome. She came out to the house for several months, 1-2 times a week and worked with E and us, getting him to sign a few things, talk, socialize, etc. We also did some play group activities.

Once we moved back to our hometown in Ohio, Ethan was 4 and Alex was 16 months. We were living with Jason's family for a few months, in our old school district and decided to wait on preschool for E and worked with him at home. In March, we moved across town to a different school district, one of the best in the area, and put him in their special education preschool for a couple of months, knowing he would start kindergarten in the fall. He did well, and the teachers were really nice.

Kindergarten was interesting. From Aug to December, E was in the same great district, in a great school, going half-day with a bus ride. They worked with us, got him his first "official" school diagnosis as well as an IEP (before school-age it's called something different, as it's family based rather than individual) and he was doing well. His teacher, the aide and the other students adored him.

In December, while Jason was in Afghanistan for contract work, we moved from our rental home to the house we purchased across the street from my in-laws. Which meant a change in districts, and schools. For E, this was a big change. Half-day to full-day, 23-25 kids to 32+ in the class, regular clothes to uniforms, bus ride to no bus service (too close to the school, so he was considered a "walker", and I drove him each day), and he did not really adjust well. I was somewhat excited because it was my old elementary school and I had mostly good memories. A lot had changed in those years though. I turned over all his records including his IEP and assumed it was being put into effect. After about a month of phone calls, early pick-ups due to meltdowns/crying, E telling me kids in his class were stealing his lunch (5 year olds!!!) and other bullying, I spoke with the teacher. I waited that long, because I knew there would be an adjustment period and learning period. However, that day I found out something that angered me. His teacher knew NOTHING of his IEP. It wasn't implemented, and it was somehow LOST!!!! I was pissed! Jason wasn't home yet, but if he had been, oh boy. I should've realized after the first day that we were going to have problems, after all, I witnessed 2 kindergarteners fist-fighting in the classroom... At the end of the year, we pulled him out of there.

There are so many options for school and our next choice was a private Catholic school.  It was my in-laws parish and my sister-in-law was attending there and Jason, his brother and sister had all graduated 8th grade from there. The principal knew the family and was nice, so I spoke with her and told her about Ethan's autism diagnosis and school difficulties in terms of behavior and meltdowns. She let me know it should be fine and so at then end of August 2008, Ethan started 1st grade. In the first few weeks, while Jason was already working in Michigan and commuting, I got many phone calls, either to come get him, or saying he was "getting an attitude and being disrespectful" but once it was explained what he said, it was more of a matter of him correcting the teacher or telling her he didn't "need to do" such and such - the lack of a filter of what to say and what not to say and to whom. Not saying my child is NEVER disrespectful, but the majority of the time, he was/is  being overly honest and speaking his mind without the INTENTION of hurting feelings and therefore not being disrespectful as there is absolutely no intention behind it. If that makes sense. And he has since learned to censor what he says a little better ;) Anyway, by mid-October, I was brought in to speak to the principal and was told we should start looking for a different environment because she wasn't sure it was working out and gave me a number to call for an organization that she thought worked with special needs kids including kids with ASD. I told her I would look into it. After 10 days or so, and doing my own research and not really finding anything, I hadn't heard any more from the school and I figured everything had settled down. The same day I got a letter essentially kicking Ethan out due to lack of resources for his "condition". Really? I had been up front and she said it would be fine. At the time, I was very hurt and angry, so I pulled him out and went to speak with her. She said something along the lines of "well I thought our last conversation cleared it all up and you were going to have him enrolled elsewhere by now. I called those people and apparently they no longer work with kids with ASD, only FAS. Sorry." Mind you, I couldn't even get in touch with "those people", so we got our tuition money back and didn't send him for a few days.

At this point, we found S.A.I.L. (School for Autistically Impaired Learners). They rented some rooms at a different Catholic elementary school and had one-on-one aides for each student in a multi-age and multi-grade class, and also the possibility to integrate into the Catholic school's regular ed classrooms if and when the students were ready. E started there in November and they quickly integrated him into the classroom and realized he was academically advanced. With our approval, they moved him to second grade and by January he spent most of his time - with his aide in the classroom, too - in the Catholic school's 2nd grade classroom. At the end of year, we sent E and Alex both to their summer school session, as they had a peer-to-peer program that Alex could attend as a typical peer. The director of S.A.I.L. felt that no matter where E went the next year, with the right supports, he could ideally be in the regular classroom full time, whether with an aide or a "safe place" if necessary to decompress.

Since Jason had been working and living most of the week in a rental room in Michigan and coming home on the weekends, it had been an extremely long year. We realized that it was time to be a family again in the normal sense and sell our house and move to Michigan. We found a rental house and started searching for a good school. The very first week we moved there, Jason had to travel for work, and school was scheduled to start. We were still looking at houses and different areas, so I was driving around with the boys one day and happened upon the charter school. I called and talked to the vice principal the Thursday after school started and we set up a walkthrough and meeting for the following day. After explaining E's diagnosis yet again, and detailing our previous experiences, we were welcomed with open arms. E started 3rd grade Monday morning. That year was a little rough, as there were many adjustments, and the teacher for the first part of the year had moved from K to 3rd that year and was somewhat unorganized and the teacher that took over after the winter holiday break was tougher, stricter. I was called a lot but mostly to keep me in the loop. 4th grade was better for E, as his teacher was organized but fairly laid back and Alex started kindergarten with the nicest kindergarten teacher ever! The following year, Alex went to one week of 1st grade before they came to me and asked if they could test him and move him to 2nd grade, which I agreed, and his teacher that year was amazing! Ethan also had a better year yet again, even though his very sweet and caring teacher went out on maternity leave in February. Luckily she was replaced with an equally good substitute. There were also a lot of changes here at home, having added a new member to our family in Jan 2012. 6th grade for Ethan, his teacher was so great and had a good insight into ASD and special needs and we decided on a self-contained class for E as we felt the rotating classes on top of his anxiety might prove to much for him. We were so glad the school offered it. Alex was lucky to have Ethan's old 4th grade teacher teaching 3rd last year, so we already knew it would be a good year.

So far this year, it's been a good year. Alex is in 4th and his teacher is trying her best to academically challenge him - he's still reading above grade level (mind you, chronologically he should only be in 3rd this year) as well as most other subjects he's doing exceptionally in. E is in the self-contained 7th grade - per his request - and seems to be doing well behavior wise, and academically, he's being challenged despite also being ahead of 7th grade level in many subjects (again he should technically only be in 6th) and his teacher is doing a great job of helping him learn coping skills.

While it seems like we love our school - which for the most part we do! - there are some silly, little things (maybe some not so little, too) that irritate us.

1. The school is preschool through 12th grade split into four buildings, with a small gym, a big gym, a main office, music room, resource rooms, mtss rooms, media/library, small library - not really functional, small cafeteria and warming kitchen. I feel that if the school had been planned/built differently it could be more efficient.

2. The cafeteria is small and there's no "real" kitchen. Had they planned appropriately, they could have put in a real kitchen and had more lunch options and not had to cater the lunches, therefore avoiding the need to pre-order lunches a month in advance. We don't personally buy school lunch, as we don't like the choices (only one choice each day, and not so "real" food) but if we were late one day or something, we don't have the option to just send money in to buy lunch that day. Also there is a big kitchen in the preschool/library/spanish/resource room building attached to the "little" gym/multipurpose room. If it were me, I'd have just made it useful and used the multipurpose room as the cafeteria and used the kitchen that's already there. I think it's fully equipped! They could offer choices to the kids and make fresh, homemade foods in there... But that's just me and I'm not in charge ;)

3. The administration. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the teachers. The administration is somewhat lacking. I don't think they are bad people, just maybe not in the right positions for who they are. If that makes sense. The lack of organization and seemingly communication is appalling. Also there seems to be a lot of gossip, "high school" behavior, not just within the admin, but all the staff, teachers included. I may be misinterpreting, but sometimes, I want to remind people they are adults. But it's also some of the other parents too! I will probably get some slack for this...

4. The parking lots. Is it just me, or do people just not know proper etiquette when it comes to driving and parking? Or maybe they can't read the big bold yellow paint that says "NO PARKING"!!!!! It drives me absolutely nuts! And then I get looks like I'M the weird one! Really? I'm following the arrows, and parking in a marked space. Or I let the pedestrians have the right-of-way. Regardless of how others drive and park, the parking lots are not large enough for the amount of growth the school has had. There just aren't enough spots. I know they are planning to expand the elementary lot.

5. Expansion. I know there is talk of adding on to the HS building and moving middle school over there, which would actually be a great thing.

6. Currently no PTO. As well as lot of junk sold at games/events, bake sales (at least last year) during lunch periods and popcorn sales on Fridays. Popcorn CAN be healthy, however after helping last year, I've decided I will NOT be allowing my boys to buy popcorn from school. They will bring popcorn from home, made with less oil and salt, and no artificial colors and flavors. Although, I ran out of time today so I let them just this once.