This weekend went very fast. Friday evening, while Jack-Jack and I took Ethan to Choi, Jason and Alex attended a Cub Scout/Boy Scout activity at a local fire station. They worked on the Readyman activity badge and learned about first aid techniques including the Heimlich maneuver! I was surprised with what Alex was able to tell me when they got home. He's excited by all of the activity badges they've been working on lately, and we are looking forward to some coming up in the next few months.
His den leader is also the Popcorn Kernel, and was able to give almost all of his popcorn order to us the same night. Alex is very proud of himself, as he not only met but exceeded his goal, selling over $1000 of popcorn. He and I spent part of yesterday trying to deliver the product and collect the rest of the money. I say "try" because many people weren't home. We went to about half of the homes we needed to deliver to, and only a handful of them were there. Thankfully all but one of those had cash, and the one check written to me is for a very small amount. This Saturday (if not before) we plan to deliver the rest in our neighborhood, and today we are delivering to 4 school employees as well as 3 instructors at Choi.
The older boys each had Catechism class on Saturday. Alex's is in the morning and this week it was "Family Advent Workshop". I figured with the word family in the title it would be a fun-filled learning experience for the whole family - well, the 3 boys and I at least. Not so much. While there was some learning, and there were a couple of fun hands-on activities, it was really just planned for the students themselves to do the activities with help from a parent. Personally, I would have called it "Parent and Student Advent Workshop". I wouldn't have dragged E and Little J along. Jack was being a typical preschooler, getting bored, wanting to do everything, talking loudly, etc. E learned a little but for the most part was bored. Next time, it will be just Alex and I or Jason.
Ethan had his confirmation class in the afternoon, and they are required to stay for Mass, and usually youth group. After dropping him off, I had a couple things to return to the store before picking Alex up to attend Mass with E. By the time we made it back to the church, we had about 10 minutes till the start of Mass. We saw Ethan standing up and singing with a little girl by the couple who run the music ministry and the piano. He saw me, finished the song, and came out into the entrance area to have a quick snack and let me know he was singing during Mass!! I knew they were going to be having the Confirmation students take on different roles in Mass, from music to altar servers and other needed areas, and it was nice to see E was chosen or volunteered. Throughout Mass, I could hear him singing the hymns loud and clear.
New shoes were needed for both Ethan and Alex, as they outgrew (and Alex managed to destroy, in 4 months...) their old shoes. After finding them each a new pair yesterday, we decided to go to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. I ordered something different - chicken chimichangas - and OH MY GOODNESS, were they so delicious!
We got home fairly early and the boys wanted to play Minecraft, and for the first time in a while, they actually played survival mode. I liked watching how they cooperated and were trading items. I learned a few things, and Jason and I both noticed how much they do get from this game, compared to so many others out there. After all three boys were in bed for the night, I decided to go read in the bedroom for a bit while Jason watched football. Nearly an hour later, I realized it had gotten very quiet (as in no TV noise), so I went to check on him. I thought for sure he'd fallen asleep or something. Nope. He was sitting there playing Minecraft in creative mode. I just laughed. He looked up and said "What?!" Nothing, nothing at all. Just kind of neat to see him playing it, without the boys even. I love that it's become a way for them all to bond, too.
A few other things: Ethan and Alex are still loving Choi, taking 3 classes a week. We bought a few private lessons (1 free each and 2 additional per), and they are taking their second this week. I noticed a huge difference after their first one last Thursday. They stayed for the 5pm family class, and normally E would have been getting upset over perceived mistakes, and Alex would have let his form slip. Both were on point and doing their absolute personal best!
They both know their highest pattern and yellow belt speed drill, and are possibly testing this coming Saturday for their GOLD belts!! Not quite 4 months in and they are just about ready for their second belt test! That's amazing. They are not the same kids, especially E, that started there all those months ago. Both of them have really blossomed, and are really more self-confident.
I asked them a couple of days ago to practice some push-ups for me, and they just said "ok, how many?" and busted out 10 like it was nothing. And I mean, pretty great push-ups! 4 months ago, heck, ONE month ago, you would have been hard-pressed to get them to do one without getting upset. They impressed me. They also practiced both their patterns and speed drills in each stance.
Ethan has been more communicative lately at home, expressing himself, asking more questions. Things like "I don't understand why anyone would WANT to go outside when it's cold out." He's been more clear on his opinion and how he feels when certain things happen, or why he doesn't like such and such. I've also caught him saying hi to other students that I've never met, and USING THEIR NAME! He's always had the tendency to not remember names, or just say hi after being prompted. But lately, he catches that they are talking to him, and responds appropriately or even initiates it. Another boy from school attends our church, and we saw him Saturday, and Ethan and I stood talking with him for a few minutes before Mass. He was looking forward to hanging out with E at youth group, which unfortunately got cancelled. Luckily they have class together and seem to have quite a bit in common. The other boy also attended the summer social skills camp Ethan did, and so I suspect he's on the spectrum as well. I like that because they have even more in common and "get" each other. E even asked me about emailing the young man a couple of weeks ago, and at the time I wasn't sure who he was talking about.
This week we have Choi classes on Mon, Tues and Friday, as well as private lessons on Thursday. Alex's pack meeting is on Wednesday with a flag retirement ceremony. Saturday, if they are ready, is belt testing. We signed up to help sort and distribute Thanksgiving food boxes at our parish on Sunday evening from 4-7. We decided on that before knowing that E was required to help either at that on Sunday or Monday or at the Christmas giving tree gift sorting/distribution in 3 weeks, for his Confirmation Christian Service hours. I'm glad we had already signed up, and that he wanted to before he knew he had to. He chose to give his time to help others. And now it's still going for his service hours :) We may try to sign up for the giving tree sorting too, but it's on Mon/Tue/Wed which are all usually super-busy. It's already been decided that we are each taking a tag to buy an item though.
In two weeks, on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, we are attending Mass to celebrate the Rite of Acceptance with Ethan for his Confirmation. I remember mine, 9 years ago (Alex was just a baby at the time!) and my sponsors, fellow RCIA candidates and I when to the Basilica in Washington, DC. It was absolutely beautiful there. I've always wanted to go back and attend Mass as a Catholic Christian, but never made it before we moved from Maryland.
Last year, Alex wanted to sign up to light the Advent Wreath before Mass one weekend as a family, and we didn't. I've already signed us up this year, for December 7th. I'm hoping to dig out our personal Advent wreath and light our candles at home each Sunday as well. It's just a matter of finding it and the candles.
I'm taking this moment to remind myself that while we are busy, and this is the busy season of life - when kids are young, in school and activities, learning about life - it doesn't have to wear us down. WE have to be the ones that make the busy-ness of it enjoyable and fulfilling. While that's not always easy, and I've been failing miserably at that lately by complaining, it's a good goal to reach towards. Today is a new day, and even though we will be tired at bedtime, we will have enjoyed our time, and done something productive. At the end of it all, we will have a delicious home-cooked meal, and nice, warm beds to sleep in. So no complaining about being busy, it's a life we choose, Crystal. Enjoy it. Watch them grow, and learn, and live. Get out there and grow, learn and live with them. It's your life, too.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Monday, November 17, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Not a robot
Today, I was having a conversation with the boys in the car. We were discussing Autism, and how it's a spectrum disorder, and that there are some children (some we know even) who are low-functioning, and some like E who are high-functioning.
Then the conversation took a slight turn. Our sons amaze me. Our oldest really made me stop in my tracks tonight.
E: When people say "functioning", it makes me think of robots.
Me, after thinking for a moment: You're right, buddy. It does sound more appropriate for robots, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like a very nice term to use for people, huh?
E: No, it doesn't.
Me: You're right. Thank you. I will try not to use that description again.
I'm so glad he is able to advocate for himself, whether he realizes it or not. This specific case was HUGE!
Just wanted to leave you all with that before I go to bed. My take on his words? It feels degrading to be described as "functioning". What's your take? What do you say, maybe without meaning anything by it, or without really much thought because it's a general term or "medically" recognized term, that may be damaging to others? How can you change that? I know he has me listening a little more to what I'm saying, and how it affects others.
Then the conversation took a slight turn. Our sons amaze me. Our oldest really made me stop in my tracks tonight.
E: When people say "functioning", it makes me think of robots.
Me, after thinking for a moment: You're right, buddy. It does sound more appropriate for robots, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like a very nice term to use for people, huh?
E: No, it doesn't.
Me: You're right. Thank you. I will try not to use that description again.
I'm so glad he is able to advocate for himself, whether he realizes it or not. This specific case was HUGE!
Just wanted to leave you all with that before I go to bed. My take on his words? It feels degrading to be described as "functioning". What's your take? What do you say, maybe without meaning anything by it, or without really much thought because it's a general term or "medically" recognized term, that may be damaging to others? How can you change that? I know he has me listening a little more to what I'm saying, and how it affects others.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
A Month of Ethan: July TBT #2
I look back at the pictures from the time Ethan was a little over a year old till around age 3 and see a lot of this "look". Almost a blank stare, lost in his own world, and honestly it makes me a bit sad. Only because we didn't know what was going on, that he had autism, that it was "ok" and how to help him work through things, and not want to just change things. I wish I'd known how to advocate for him better when he was little. Part of me just wanted to make him "all better" because I didn't want life to be hard for him.
Looking at him today, now, I wouldn't change anything about Ethan. I'm not saying I'm glad he has Autism, because there are things that make it hard for him to cope with everyday situations, but it's part of who he is, part of his personality, his quirks and his lovely traits! I love ALL of that about my oldest boy, and that's why I'd never ask for him to be different. If someone came to me tomorrow and said "We have a cure for Autism, all he has to do is A, B, C", I'd tell them "Only if HE wants to, because it's part of him. I love him for him." Just like I'd never want to change anything that is a part of who I am.
We are so blessed to have Ethan as our son and brother. I'm so proud of him in so many ways. He's learned to use his struggles to his advantage, and his "obsessions" to make life fun for him and us!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
First update in quite a while!
Finally! It feels so nice to be typing on the laptop and actually writing! I'm pleased with the work the computer repair place did. It was a great price too. While we had to wait almost 3 weeks because the screen was backordered, they replaced it within about 3 hours this past Saturday. We were using the laptop hooked up to our desktop monitor. Not very convenient. The only time we were even bothering was to pay bills or for Jason to do his homework.
It's been a very busy couple of months around here. Ethan and Alex finished swim lessons for this session just a couple of weeks ago, Catechism is wrapping up for the year this next weekend (I believe) and all the hard work they put in to play rehearsal paid off. Saturday was spent at Catechism in the morning followed by "call" at 5pm and the show at 7pm. I went alone to watch that night, while Jason stayed home with Jackson. It turned out so great! The director did a great job casting the parts. The actress who played Annie has an amazing singing voice! As well as many of the other actors and actresses. Ethan and Alex did good in their parts. I wish I would have gotten some pictures or video but no luck. On Sunday, Jason's parents came up for a visit and to go to the show. The boys had to be there at 1, and the show started at 3pm. Jackson slept for about half of it and near the end he got antsy so we stepped out. It worked out nicely since I had gone the previous night. Everyone else was able to enjoy the show.
We had the Blue and Gold banquet a few weeks ago for cub scouts and my parents came up for it. It was really nice.
Our Pinewood Derby was March 23rd and Jason's family came to watch and to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. It was great to see Jason's dad, sisters, brother and niece. We missed having his mom come up but were glad his mom and dad made it to the play. Alex's car did really well coming in 2nd and 3rd for each race. While he didn't win a trophy OR a spot in the regional races, he had so much fun and loved making his car this year. We all got to see Jason in action emceeing the race. He's such a ham...
Last week, Jackson and I spent the whole week volunteering at the Scholastic book fair. It was crazy busy for a lot of the time, but we had a good time. He keeps begging to go to the "library" - where we held the fair - and to school, since he got to hang out in the preschool classrooms on and off throughout the week. I am so thankful to the preschool teachers and the other 2 moms who were also working at the fair, including the fair chairperson. She did an amazing job with it, while also working in the preschool in the mornings. She was always right there when I had a question or needed a hand and I hope I did as good a job as she says I did. She even bought pizza Friday night for my boys and I and her family! And took Alex to the spring carnival while E, Jack and I kept the fair open late that night! Talk about awesome teamwork. I would work with her again in a heartbeat. Plus she's such a nice lady! Shout out to CINDY!!
I wanted to write a quick update on our winter fun list so here goes.
We dropped a few more things: sledding; snowman/snowfamily; ice bubbles; s'mores; origami; coloring contest.
We did the following but mostly without pictures: paint a picture - just mom and Jackson; make a fort; play payday - just the boys.
Also I decided to move a few things to our Spring activities. It will be an "unofficial" bucket list and will most likely blend over into Summer. Just things we still want to do but haven't yet. No pressure. Those items are: Lego movie; bonfire; ice skating - indoor arenas are plentiful; go for a hike; video game contest; Detroit Institute of Art; Detroit Historical museum; library event.
The family portrait is being added to our 2014 goals.
Unfortunately, we fell very far behind on our "Saint studies". The nice thing about it not being required is that we can do it at our own pace and will catch up and keep going throughout the year :)
Tomorrow I'll share a 2014 goals update since it's somewhat long!
By the way, April is Autism awareness month! In fact, today is World Autism Awareness! Let's not just promote awareness, but acceptance.
It's been a very busy couple of months around here. Ethan and Alex finished swim lessons for this session just a couple of weeks ago, Catechism is wrapping up for the year this next weekend (I believe) and all the hard work they put in to play rehearsal paid off. Saturday was spent at Catechism in the morning followed by "call" at 5pm and the show at 7pm. I went alone to watch that night, while Jason stayed home with Jackson. It turned out so great! The director did a great job casting the parts. The actress who played Annie has an amazing singing voice! As well as many of the other actors and actresses. Ethan and Alex did good in their parts. I wish I would have gotten some pictures or video but no luck. On Sunday, Jason's parents came up for a visit and to go to the show. The boys had to be there at 1, and the show started at 3pm. Jackson slept for about half of it and near the end he got antsy so we stepped out. It worked out nicely since I had gone the previous night. Everyone else was able to enjoy the show.
We had the Blue and Gold banquet a few weeks ago for cub scouts and my parents came up for it. It was really nice.
 |
| My dad's SMILING!! For a PICTURE!! |
 | |||
| My beautiful momma and handsome daddy! They just celebrated 41 years of marriage! |
 |
| My dad showing the boys his Eagle Scout card! |
 |
| Daddy and Jack-Jack <3 |
Our Pinewood Derby was March 23rd and Jason's family came to watch and to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. It was great to see Jason's dad, sisters, brother and niece. We missed having his mom come up but were glad his mom and dad made it to the play. Alex's car did really well coming in 2nd and 3rd for each race. While he didn't win a trophy OR a spot in the regional races, he had so much fun and loved making his car this year. We all got to see Jason in action emceeing the race. He's such a ham...
Last week, Jackson and I spent the whole week volunteering at the Scholastic book fair. It was crazy busy for a lot of the time, but we had a good time. He keeps begging to go to the "library" - where we held the fair - and to school, since he got to hang out in the preschool classrooms on and off throughout the week. I am so thankful to the preschool teachers and the other 2 moms who were also working at the fair, including the fair chairperson. She did an amazing job with it, while also working in the preschool in the mornings. She was always right there when I had a question or needed a hand and I hope I did as good a job as she says I did. She even bought pizza Friday night for my boys and I and her family! And took Alex to the spring carnival while E, Jack and I kept the fair open late that night! Talk about awesome teamwork. I would work with her again in a heartbeat. Plus she's such a nice lady! Shout out to CINDY!!
I wanted to write a quick update on our winter fun list so here goes.
We dropped a few more things: sledding; snowman/snowfamily; ice bubbles; s'mores; origami; coloring contest.
We did the following but mostly without pictures: paint a picture - just mom and Jackson; make a fort; play payday - just the boys.
Also I decided to move a few things to our Spring activities. It will be an "unofficial" bucket list and will most likely blend over into Summer. Just things we still want to do but haven't yet. No pressure. Those items are: Lego movie; bonfire; ice skating - indoor arenas are plentiful; go for a hike; video game contest; Detroit Institute of Art; Detroit Historical museum; library event.
The family portrait is being added to our 2014 goals.
Unfortunately, we fell very far behind on our "Saint studies". The nice thing about it not being required is that we can do it at our own pace and will catch up and keep going throughout the year :)
Tomorrow I'll share a 2014 goals update since it's somewhat long!
By the way, April is Autism awareness month! In fact, today is World Autism Awareness! Let's not just promote awareness, but acceptance.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Speaking for him
As anyone who's read this blog or knows my family is aware, our oldest son Ethan has Autism. Asperger's Syndrome, more specifically. They've read about or heard about or seen different things, whether it's a triumph or a tribulation or struggle. I would never wish change on him, but do hope to help him when he's having a hard time. To teach him life skills and coping mechanisms when times get tough, and to learn from him when it comes to so many things, like how he sees the world or what's important or cool to him.
Controversy is a tough thing for me to deal with. I have avoided discussing Autism Speaks for a while, because there has been a lot of controversy surrounding them. I don't have all the facts, but what I do know, well it doesn't make me happy. I was once in the boat of "how to fix", rather than "how to help and how to adapt my own views", when it came to ASD. In that, let me be honest. I don't mean that I wanted to make him not have Autism, but I wanted to "fix" all the difficult things that came with it. Now I see them not as something to fix, or a hurdle to overcome, but something to embrace and use to his advantage. Anxiety can be alleviated to help him see problems for what they truly are. His obsessions can grow into a great outlet, maybe a career someday! (Video games, anyone? or even math and maps could help be an engineer or teacher!) His point of view on the world can be a refreshing change, if you look at it as not wrong because it's not yours, but different, because isn't different what makes the world go 'round?!
When I read that John Elder Robison stepped down from his position at Autism Speaks, I was somewhat surprised. I had read (most) of his book, and hadn't really even known he worked with/for them. I had heard other things over the years. After reading several blog posts about them "not speaking" for the blogger's family, etc. it made me think some.
What I want to say is this: Regardless of whether you agree with that organization, they do NOT speak for my son. Truly, no organization does.
I speak for Ethan.
Jason speaks for Ethan.
His brothers speak for him.
Grandma Marsha and Grandpa Joe speak for him.
Grandma Linda and Grandpa Gale speak for him.
Aunt Jorie and Uncle Matt. Uncle Jeff. Aunt Madison. Aunt Heather and Uncle Matt. Aunt Linda and Uncle Desi. They all speak for him.
His cousins speak for him.
Great-aunts and great-uncles and great-grandparents speak for him.
Classmates, friends, and teachers speak for him.
Every time they speak up for him, listen to him, advocate for him, talk TO him, befriend him, teach him, learn from him, they speak for him. It's in their actions, just as it is in how they interact with everyone else. They don't treat him differently, "special", they treat him with the same love and care as everyone else. And you know why? Because it's not more difficult nor should anything different be expected!
But most importantly, Ethan speaks for himself! In his actions, his words, his triumphs and his struggles. He is learning to stand up for himself and to BE WHO HE IS MEANT TO BE! The caring, sweet, funny, map-loving mathematician who excels at video games, and is an avid reader.
That is all.
Controversy is a tough thing for me to deal with. I have avoided discussing Autism Speaks for a while, because there has been a lot of controversy surrounding them. I don't have all the facts, but what I do know, well it doesn't make me happy. I was once in the boat of "how to fix", rather than "how to help and how to adapt my own views", when it came to ASD. In that, let me be honest. I don't mean that I wanted to make him not have Autism, but I wanted to "fix" all the difficult things that came with it. Now I see them not as something to fix, or a hurdle to overcome, but something to embrace and use to his advantage. Anxiety can be alleviated to help him see problems for what they truly are. His obsessions can grow into a great outlet, maybe a career someday! (Video games, anyone? or even math and maps could help be an engineer or teacher!) His point of view on the world can be a refreshing change, if you look at it as not wrong because it's not yours, but different, because isn't different what makes the world go 'round?!
When I read that John Elder Robison stepped down from his position at Autism Speaks, I was somewhat surprised. I had read (most) of his book, and hadn't really even known he worked with/for them. I had heard other things over the years. After reading several blog posts about them "not speaking" for the blogger's family, etc. it made me think some.
What I want to say is this: Regardless of whether you agree with that organization, they do NOT speak for my son. Truly, no organization does.
I speak for Ethan.
Jason speaks for Ethan.
His brothers speak for him.
Grandma Marsha and Grandpa Joe speak for him.
Grandma Linda and Grandpa Gale speak for him.
Aunt Jorie and Uncle Matt. Uncle Jeff. Aunt Madison. Aunt Heather and Uncle Matt. Aunt Linda and Uncle Desi. They all speak for him.
His cousins speak for him.
Great-aunts and great-uncles and great-grandparents speak for him.
Classmates, friends, and teachers speak for him.
Every time they speak up for him, listen to him, advocate for him, talk TO him, befriend him, teach him, learn from him, they speak for him. It's in their actions, just as it is in how they interact with everyone else. They don't treat him differently, "special", they treat him with the same love and care as everyone else. And you know why? Because it's not more difficult nor should anything different be expected!
But most importantly, Ethan speaks for himself! In his actions, his words, his triumphs and his struggles. He is learning to stand up for himself and to BE WHO HE IS MEANT TO BE! The caring, sweet, funny, map-loving mathematician who excels at video games, and is an avid reader.
That is all.
Monday, November 18, 2013
How is Ethan doing?
I've had a few people inquire about Ethan and how he's doing. I haven't really updated in a while now is a good a time as any.
It's been almost two months since we decided to have him start taking the Prozac. Within a few days, we saw changes in him. He started opening up more at home, and dealing with frustration better. It seems as though at school, he's been doing great too. Even when he does get upset, he calms himself easier, and I don't think I have heard of even one instance of him needing to leave the classroom!
Now I know some of this is due to him starting to mature, but I feel like the medication is helping him cope too. E has told me he's able to calm himself and keep the frustration "in his head" more, rather than having verbal outbursts. Not always, but much more often. Things that would have disappointed him previously immensely? Yeah, they don't seem to bother him as much. If he misses a day - yesterday for example - we see a drastic change in his coping skills. He's very whiny and overly emotional about certain things, especially video games.
E has even done wonderful in gym. First trimester is over now, and so is gym, but my child who hates anything athletic/active (for the most part) made it through no problem, even getting an A-, with an A on the last two tests. One was 25 correctly done sit-ups, and the other was 25 correctly done push-ups!
He starts study skills today, and I really believe he will get so much more out of it this year than last. He reminded me yesterday that he will probably need a binder and looseleaf paper. This is not something he would have thought of before, and when asked this morning what he needed to do if he got a syllabus from his teacher today, he responded with "bring it to you, mom!" (with a little sarcasm, like duh, mom! LOL)
We were discussing on the way to school what he thought he might have next trimester, Spanish or Art.
E: I hope I have art!
Mom: Really? I thought art is stressful to you?
E: It is, but I'm not going to let that hold me back from doing art!
That right there made me so proud of him!!! I said something like I'm proud of you buddy, and I know how much you like to draw so I'm glad. :)
I also told him that he is such a good example not only to his younger brothers but me to not give up even when something is hard or stressful for us!
6 months ago, I don't think he would have said that, or been able to express a lot of what goes on in his head sometimes. Especially when it has to do with stress, anxiety and frustration. That's not to say he wasn't or couldn't communicate well. He just couldn't explain how he felt and then when a situation became frustrating or upsetting, he had an even harder time not only dealing with the situation, but explaining his feelings and thoughts. It's like a cloud has lifted for him, and I'm so grateful. I never thought we'd put him on medication, and even though it has been one of the hardest decisions we've made as parents, it has definitely, so far, been one of the best ones.
My boys all amaze me everyday, and show me that anything is possible.
Another quick story about E. He was in the MTSS classroom for reading remediation (his scantron scores dropped due to him rushing through the tests, and it's procedure for him to go there, regardless of his ACTUAL ability...) and they were reading about carnivores. The teacher asked if we are carnivores and E said "well, actually, we are omnivores!" The teacher had him define omnivore and explain to the class why as humans, traditionally at least, we are omnivores! She said he seemed to enjoy "teaching" the class, LOL. Also she told me that even though he's in there, it's hard, because the other students are working at 3rd-7th grade reading comprehension, and he's got it all and should be working on TENTH GRADE reading comprehension!!! But he's an absolute joy to have in her classroom, her words, not mine. :)
We have conferences for E and Alex next Tuesday right after school. I already know their grades though.
Ethan:
It's been almost two months since we decided to have him start taking the Prozac. Within a few days, we saw changes in him. He started opening up more at home, and dealing with frustration better. It seems as though at school, he's been doing great too. Even when he does get upset, he calms himself easier, and I don't think I have heard of even one instance of him needing to leave the classroom!
Now I know some of this is due to him starting to mature, but I feel like the medication is helping him cope too. E has told me he's able to calm himself and keep the frustration "in his head" more, rather than having verbal outbursts. Not always, but much more often. Things that would have disappointed him previously immensely? Yeah, they don't seem to bother him as much. If he misses a day - yesterday for example - we see a drastic change in his coping skills. He's very whiny and overly emotional about certain things, especially video games.
E has even done wonderful in gym. First trimester is over now, and so is gym, but my child who hates anything athletic/active (for the most part) made it through no problem, even getting an A-, with an A on the last two tests. One was 25 correctly done sit-ups, and the other was 25 correctly done push-ups!
He starts study skills today, and I really believe he will get so much more out of it this year than last. He reminded me yesterday that he will probably need a binder and looseleaf paper. This is not something he would have thought of before, and when asked this morning what he needed to do if he got a syllabus from his teacher today, he responded with "bring it to you, mom!" (with a little sarcasm, like duh, mom! LOL)
We were discussing on the way to school what he thought he might have next trimester, Spanish or Art.
E: I hope I have art!
Mom: Really? I thought art is stressful to you?
E: It is, but I'm not going to let that hold me back from doing art!
That right there made me so proud of him!!! I said something like I'm proud of you buddy, and I know how much you like to draw so I'm glad. :)
I also told him that he is such a good example not only to his younger brothers but me to not give up even when something is hard or stressful for us!
6 months ago, I don't think he would have said that, or been able to express a lot of what goes on in his head sometimes. Especially when it has to do with stress, anxiety and frustration. That's not to say he wasn't or couldn't communicate well. He just couldn't explain how he felt and then when a situation became frustrating or upsetting, he had an even harder time not only dealing with the situation, but explaining his feelings and thoughts. It's like a cloud has lifted for him, and I'm so grateful. I never thought we'd put him on medication, and even though it has been one of the hardest decisions we've made as parents, it has definitely, so far, been one of the best ones.
My boys all amaze me everyday, and show me that anything is possible.
Another quick story about E. He was in the MTSS classroom for reading remediation (his scantron scores dropped due to him rushing through the tests, and it's procedure for him to go there, regardless of his ACTUAL ability...) and they were reading about carnivores. The teacher asked if we are carnivores and E said "well, actually, we are omnivores!" The teacher had him define omnivore and explain to the class why as humans, traditionally at least, we are omnivores! She said he seemed to enjoy "teaching" the class, LOL. Also she told me that even though he's in there, it's hard, because the other students are working at 3rd-7th grade reading comprehension, and he's got it all and should be working on TENTH GRADE reading comprehension!!! But he's an absolute joy to have in her classroom, her words, not mine. :)
We have conferences for E and Alex next Tuesday right after school. I already know their grades though.
Ethan:
- Math - A
- Reading - A
- Science - A
- Social Studies - A
- Gym - A-
- English - B+
- Spelling - A
- Social Studies - A
- Science - A
- Handwriting - A
- Gym - A
- Spanish - A
- Math - A-
- Reading - B+
- English - B
Thursday, September 26, 2013
From Public to Private to Specialized to Charter: Our Education Journey So Far
Since yesterday's post disappeared and erased over half of this, I had to try and rewrite it. I hope I didn't leave anything out! And hopefully the internet won't eat it again ;)
When Ethan was about 18 months old, and we were still living in Southern Maryland, we had him evaluated through the early childhood education program. This was our first experience as parents with any kind of "school". Ms. Kim was awesome. She came out to the house for several months, 1-2 times a week and worked with E and us, getting him to sign a few things, talk, socialize, etc. We also did some play group activities.
When Ethan was about 18 months old, and we were still living in Southern Maryland, we had him evaluated through the early childhood education program. This was our first experience as parents with any kind of "school". Ms. Kim was awesome. She came out to the house for several months, 1-2 times a week and worked with E and us, getting him to sign a few things, talk, socialize, etc. We also did some play group activities.
Once we moved back to our hometown in Ohio, Ethan was 4 and Alex was 16 months. We were living with Jason's family for a few months, in our old school district and decided to wait on preschool for E and worked with him at home. In March, we moved across town to a different school district, one of the best in the area, and put him in their special education preschool for a couple of months, knowing he would start kindergarten in the fall. He did well, and the teachers were really nice.
Kindergarten was interesting. From Aug to December, E was in the same great district, in a great school, going half-day with a bus ride. They worked with us, got him his first "official" school diagnosis as well as an IEP (before school-age it's called something different, as it's family based rather than individual) and he was doing well. His teacher, the aide and the other students adored him.
In December, while Jason was in Afghanistan for contract work, we moved from our rental home to the house we purchased across the street from my in-laws. Which meant a change in districts, and schools. For E, this was a big change. Half-day to full-day, 23-25 kids to 32+ in the class, regular clothes to uniforms, bus ride to no bus service (too close to the school, so he was considered a "walker", and I drove him each day), and he did not really adjust well. I was somewhat excited because it was my old elementary school and I had mostly good memories. A lot had changed in those years though. I turned over all his records including his IEP and assumed it was being put into effect. After about a month of phone calls, early pick-ups due to meltdowns/crying, E telling me kids in his class were stealing his lunch (5 year olds!!!) and other bullying, I spoke with the teacher. I waited that long, because I knew there would be an adjustment period and learning period. However, that day I found out something that angered me. His teacher knew NOTHING of his IEP. It wasn't implemented, and it was somehow LOST!!!! I was pissed! Jason wasn't home yet, but if he had been, oh boy. I should've realized after the first day that we were going to have problems, after all, I witnessed 2 kindergarteners fist-fighting in the classroom... At the end of the year, we pulled him out of there.
There are so many options for school and our next choice was a private Catholic school. It was my in-laws parish and my sister-in-law was attending there and Jason, his brother and sister had all graduated 8th grade from there. The principal knew the family and was nice, so I spoke with her and told her about Ethan's autism diagnosis and school difficulties in terms of behavior and meltdowns. She let me know it should be fine and so at then end of August 2008, Ethan started 1st grade. In the first few weeks, while Jason was already working in Michigan and commuting, I got many phone calls, either to come get him, or saying he was "getting an attitude and being disrespectful" but once it was explained what he said, it was more of a matter of him correcting the teacher or telling her he didn't "need to do" such and such - the lack of a filter of what to say and what not to say and to whom. Not saying my child is NEVER disrespectful, but the majority of the time, he was/is being overly honest and speaking his mind without the INTENTION of hurting feelings and therefore not being disrespectful as there is absolutely no intention behind it. If that makes sense. And he has since learned to censor what he says a little better ;) Anyway, by mid-October, I was brought in to speak to the principal and was told we should start looking for a different environment because she wasn't sure it was working out and gave me a number to call for an organization that she thought worked with special needs kids including kids with ASD. I told her I would look into it. After 10 days or so, and doing my own research and not really finding anything, I hadn't heard any more from the school and I figured everything had settled down. The same day I got a letter essentially kicking Ethan out due to lack of resources for his "condition". Really? I had been up front and she said it would be fine. At the time, I was very hurt and angry, so I pulled him out and went to speak with her. She said something along the lines of "well I thought our last conversation cleared it all up and you were going to have him enrolled elsewhere by now. I called those people and apparently they no longer work with kids with ASD, only FAS. Sorry." Mind you, I couldn't even get in touch with "those people", so we got our tuition money back and didn't send him for a few days.
At this point, we found S.A.I.L. (School for Autistically Impaired Learners). They rented some rooms at a different Catholic elementary school and had one-on-one aides for each student in a multi-age and multi-grade class, and also the possibility to integrate into the Catholic school's regular ed classrooms if and when the students were ready. E started there in November and they quickly integrated him into the classroom and realized he was academically advanced. With our approval, they moved him to second grade and by January he spent most of his time - with his aide in the classroom, too - in the Catholic school's 2nd grade classroom. At the end of year, we sent E and Alex both to their summer school session, as they had a peer-to-peer program that Alex could attend as a typical peer. The director of S.A.I.L. felt that no matter where E went the next year, with the right supports, he could ideally be in the regular classroom full time, whether with an aide or a "safe place" if necessary to decompress.
Since Jason had been working and living most of the week in a rental room in Michigan and coming home on the weekends, it had been an extremely long year. We realized that it was time to be a family again in the normal sense and sell our house and move to Michigan. We found a rental house and started searching for a good school. The very first week we moved there, Jason had to travel for work, and school was scheduled to start. We were still looking at houses and different areas, so I was driving around with the boys one day and happened upon the charter school. I called and talked to the vice principal the Thursday after school started and we set up a walkthrough and meeting for the following day. After explaining E's diagnosis yet again, and detailing our previous experiences, we were welcomed with open arms. E started 3rd grade Monday morning. That year was a little rough, as there were many adjustments, and the teacher for the first part of the year had moved from K to 3rd that year and was somewhat unorganized and the teacher that took over after the winter holiday break was tougher, stricter. I was called a lot but mostly to keep me in the loop. 4th grade was better for E, as his teacher was organized but fairly laid back and Alex started kindergarten with the nicest kindergarten teacher ever! The following year, Alex went to one week of 1st grade before they came to me and asked if they could test him and move him to 2nd grade, which I agreed, and his teacher that year was amazing! Ethan also had a better year yet again, even though his very sweet and caring teacher went out on maternity leave in February. Luckily she was replaced with an equally good substitute. There were also a lot of changes here at home, having added a new member to our family in Jan 2012. 6th grade for Ethan, his teacher was so great and had a good insight into ASD and special needs and we decided on a self-contained class for E as we felt the rotating classes on top of his anxiety might prove to much for him. We were so glad the school offered it. Alex was lucky to have Ethan's old 4th grade teacher teaching 3rd last year, so we already knew it would be a good year.
So far this year, it's been a good year. Alex is in 4th and his teacher is trying her best to academically challenge him - he's still reading above grade level (mind you, chronologically he should only be in 3rd this year) as well as most other subjects he's doing exceptionally in. E is in the self-contained 7th grade - per his request - and seems to be doing well behavior wise, and academically, he's being challenged despite also being ahead of 7th grade level in many subjects (again he should technically only be in 6th) and his teacher is doing a great job of helping him learn coping skills.
While it seems like we love our school - which for the most part we do! - there are some silly, little things (maybe some not so little, too) that irritate us.
1. The school is preschool through 12th grade split into four buildings, with a small gym, a big gym, a main office, music room, resource rooms, mtss rooms, media/library, small library - not really functional, small cafeteria and warming kitchen. I feel that if the school had been planned/built differently it could be more efficient.
2. The cafeteria is small and there's no "real" kitchen. Had they planned appropriately, they could have put in a real kitchen and had more lunch options and not had to cater the lunches, therefore avoiding the need to pre-order lunches a month in advance. We don't personally buy school lunch, as we don't like the choices (only one choice each day, and not so "real" food) but if we were late one day or something, we don't have the option to just send money in to buy lunch that day. Also there is a big kitchen in the preschool/library/spanish/resource room building attached to the "little" gym/multipurpose room. If it were me, I'd have just made it useful and used the multipurpose room as the cafeteria and used the kitchen that's already there. I think it's fully equipped! They could offer choices to the kids and make fresh, homemade foods in there... But that's just me and I'm not in charge ;)
3. The administration. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the teachers. The administration is somewhat lacking. I don't think they are bad people, just maybe not in the right positions for who they are. If that makes sense. The lack of organization and seemingly communication is appalling. Also there seems to be a lot of gossip, "high school" behavior, not just within the admin, but all the staff, teachers included. I may be misinterpreting, but sometimes, I want to remind people they are adults. But it's also some of the other parents too! I will probably get some slack for this...
4. The parking lots. Is it just me, or do people just not know proper etiquette when it comes to driving and parking? Or maybe they can't read the big bold yellow paint that says "NO PARKING"!!!!! It drives me absolutely nuts! And then I get looks like I'M the weird one! Really? I'm following the arrows, and parking in a marked space. Or I let the pedestrians have the right-of-way. Regardless of how others drive and park, the parking lots are not large enough for the amount of growth the school has had. There just aren't enough spots. I know they are planning to expand the elementary lot.
5. Expansion. I know there is talk of adding on to the HS building and moving middle school over there, which would actually be a great thing.
6. Currently no PTO. As well as lot of junk sold at games/events, bake sales (at least last year) during lunch periods and popcorn sales on Fridays. Popcorn CAN be healthy, however after helping last year, I've decided I will NOT be allowing my boys to buy popcorn from school. They will bring popcorn from home, made with less oil and salt, and no artificial colors and flavors. Although, I ran out of time today so I let them just this once.
At this point, we found S.A.I.L. (School for Autistically Impaired Learners). They rented some rooms at a different Catholic elementary school and had one-on-one aides for each student in a multi-age and multi-grade class, and also the possibility to integrate into the Catholic school's regular ed classrooms if and when the students were ready. E started there in November and they quickly integrated him into the classroom and realized he was academically advanced. With our approval, they moved him to second grade and by January he spent most of his time - with his aide in the classroom, too - in the Catholic school's 2nd grade classroom. At the end of year, we sent E and Alex both to their summer school session, as they had a peer-to-peer program that Alex could attend as a typical peer. The director of S.A.I.L. felt that no matter where E went the next year, with the right supports, he could ideally be in the regular classroom full time, whether with an aide or a "safe place" if necessary to decompress.
Since Jason had been working and living most of the week in a rental room in Michigan and coming home on the weekends, it had been an extremely long year. We realized that it was time to be a family again in the normal sense and sell our house and move to Michigan. We found a rental house and started searching for a good school. The very first week we moved there, Jason had to travel for work, and school was scheduled to start. We were still looking at houses and different areas, so I was driving around with the boys one day and happened upon the charter school. I called and talked to the vice principal the Thursday after school started and we set up a walkthrough and meeting for the following day. After explaining E's diagnosis yet again, and detailing our previous experiences, we were welcomed with open arms. E started 3rd grade Monday morning. That year was a little rough, as there were many adjustments, and the teacher for the first part of the year had moved from K to 3rd that year and was somewhat unorganized and the teacher that took over after the winter holiday break was tougher, stricter. I was called a lot but mostly to keep me in the loop. 4th grade was better for E, as his teacher was organized but fairly laid back and Alex started kindergarten with the nicest kindergarten teacher ever! The following year, Alex went to one week of 1st grade before they came to me and asked if they could test him and move him to 2nd grade, which I agreed, and his teacher that year was amazing! Ethan also had a better year yet again, even though his very sweet and caring teacher went out on maternity leave in February. Luckily she was replaced with an equally good substitute. There were also a lot of changes here at home, having added a new member to our family in Jan 2012. 6th grade for Ethan, his teacher was so great and had a good insight into ASD and special needs and we decided on a self-contained class for E as we felt the rotating classes on top of his anxiety might prove to much for him. We were so glad the school offered it. Alex was lucky to have Ethan's old 4th grade teacher teaching 3rd last year, so we already knew it would be a good year.
So far this year, it's been a good year. Alex is in 4th and his teacher is trying her best to academically challenge him - he's still reading above grade level (mind you, chronologically he should only be in 3rd this year) as well as most other subjects he's doing exceptionally in. E is in the self-contained 7th grade - per his request - and seems to be doing well behavior wise, and academically, he's being challenged despite also being ahead of 7th grade level in many subjects (again he should technically only be in 6th) and his teacher is doing a great job of helping him learn coping skills.
While it seems like we love our school - which for the most part we do! - there are some silly, little things (maybe some not so little, too) that irritate us.
1. The school is preschool through 12th grade split into four buildings, with a small gym, a big gym, a main office, music room, resource rooms, mtss rooms, media/library, small library - not really functional, small cafeteria and warming kitchen. I feel that if the school had been planned/built differently it could be more efficient.
2. The cafeteria is small and there's no "real" kitchen. Had they planned appropriately, they could have put in a real kitchen and had more lunch options and not had to cater the lunches, therefore avoiding the need to pre-order lunches a month in advance. We don't personally buy school lunch, as we don't like the choices (only one choice each day, and not so "real" food) but if we were late one day or something, we don't have the option to just send money in to buy lunch that day. Also there is a big kitchen in the preschool/library/spanish/resource room building attached to the "little" gym/multipurpose room. If it were me, I'd have just made it useful and used the multipurpose room as the cafeteria and used the kitchen that's already there. I think it's fully equipped! They could offer choices to the kids and make fresh, homemade foods in there... But that's just me and I'm not in charge ;)
3. The administration. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the teachers. The administration is somewhat lacking. I don't think they are bad people, just maybe not in the right positions for who they are. If that makes sense. The lack of organization and seemingly communication is appalling. Also there seems to be a lot of gossip, "high school" behavior, not just within the admin, but all the staff, teachers included. I may be misinterpreting, but sometimes, I want to remind people they are adults. But it's also some of the other parents too! I will probably get some slack for this...
4. The parking lots. Is it just me, or do people just not know proper etiquette when it comes to driving and parking? Or maybe they can't read the big bold yellow paint that says "NO PARKING"!!!!! It drives me absolutely nuts! And then I get looks like I'M the weird one! Really? I'm following the arrows, and parking in a marked space. Or I let the pedestrians have the right-of-way. Regardless of how others drive and park, the parking lots are not large enough for the amount of growth the school has had. There just aren't enough spots. I know they are planning to expand the elementary lot.
5. Expansion. I know there is talk of adding on to the HS building and moving middle school over there, which would actually be a great thing.
6. Currently no PTO. As well as lot of junk sold at games/events, bake sales (at least last year) during lunch periods and popcorn sales on Fridays. Popcorn CAN be healthy, however after helping last year, I've decided I will NOT be allowing my boys to buy popcorn from school. They will bring popcorn from home, made with less oil and salt, and no artificial colors and flavors. Although, I ran out of time today so I let them just this once.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Looking for advice...
I've got a post sitting in draft right now that's been there over a week. But this seems a bit more urgent, more important to share.
We've been trying to work with Ethan over the years in regards to his anxiety, frustrations, meltdowns, and behaviors. At 11, certain things have gotten better, and some have stayed the same or gotten a little worse. Jason and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to avoid medicating him unless absolutely necessary.
Today, we took him to see a neurologist, who asked a bunch of questions - most of which we've answered many times before, either to a school or another doctor - and then gave us some good insight.
He recommended one of two things.
1.) Put him on a low-dose of an SSRI - Prozac, to be exact - to help with his anxiety and to cope with changes to routine easier.
2.) See a psychologist for cognitive behavior therapy to learn coping skills.
Prozac, apparently, has very few side effects, and the side effects they see in some older kids (suicidal thoughts, etc) doesn't seem to happen with ASD kids. Also it's a very low dose that he would be given, only 10 mg.
The cognitive behavior therapy can take a long time to help, especially in younger kids and teens, but is a great tool!
Jason and I are currently discussing our options, though we have the prescription sitting here if we want to start it.
We are thinking the following:
Contact a psychologist and sign him up for the therapy, and get him learning coping skills. Meanwhile, to help alleviate the day-to-day anxiety on a more immediate time frame, start him on the Prozac, temporarily, and wean him off of it in a few months time.
Anybody out there have any suggestions or thoughts? Seriously, now is the time. I am all ears. I hate to see any of my boys struggle and this is the hardest decision we've had to make to date.
We've been trying to work with Ethan over the years in regards to his anxiety, frustrations, meltdowns, and behaviors. At 11, certain things have gotten better, and some have stayed the same or gotten a little worse. Jason and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to avoid medicating him unless absolutely necessary.
Today, we took him to see a neurologist, who asked a bunch of questions - most of which we've answered many times before, either to a school or another doctor - and then gave us some good insight.
He recommended one of two things.
1.) Put him on a low-dose of an SSRI - Prozac, to be exact - to help with his anxiety and to cope with changes to routine easier.
2.) See a psychologist for cognitive behavior therapy to learn coping skills.
Prozac, apparently, has very few side effects, and the side effects they see in some older kids (suicidal thoughts, etc) doesn't seem to happen with ASD kids. Also it's a very low dose that he would be given, only 10 mg.
The cognitive behavior therapy can take a long time to help, especially in younger kids and teens, but is a great tool!
Jason and I are currently discussing our options, though we have the prescription sitting here if we want to start it.
We are thinking the following:
Contact a psychologist and sign him up for the therapy, and get him learning coping skills. Meanwhile, to help alleviate the day-to-day anxiety on a more immediate time frame, start him on the Prozac, temporarily, and wean him off of it in a few months time.
Anybody out there have any suggestions or thoughts? Seriously, now is the time. I am all ears. I hate to see any of my boys struggle and this is the hardest decision we've had to make to date.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
What's up with us
Monday, I took the older 2 boys in to their for their annual check-ups. A is healthy, his eyesight is great, he's about 63 lbs and 4'4" and in the 73% for both height and weight. He's happy and well-adjusted (which I already knew ;) ). E is also very healthy and has good eyesight. He's about 71 lbs and 4'7" and in the 33/34% for height and weight. She predicted that if he stays on this growth pattern, he'll probably be about 5'9" so average. E will be 11 at the end of July and has been having more mood swings - on top of his behaviors, meltdowns, etc due to his frustration and anxiety and generally, his Asperger's Syndrome, which we've been working with him to try and find some better coping skills - so I asked her if it's possible he's starting to hit puberty and she confirmed that it is definitely some of the "issue". Other than that, he's doing good. She checked both boys' cholesterol due to family history and while A's is fine, E's is a little high - 175 is what they watch for and his is 185 and his triglycerides are 120 rather than the normal 100 or less. We just did the quick finger prick test though and rather than put him through more blood work, we are just going to revisit it in a year and monitor him, since most likely it's hereditary vs. diet-related.
We did get a referral for A for his very dry, itchy skin. The poor child is constantly itchy, but no rash or anything and his hands will get so dry they look chapped. Nothing ever seems to help and now, the back of his hands are a darker tone than the rest of his arms! Hyper-pigmentation, she called it. She wants him to see a dermatologist to see what they recommend to prevent it from getting worse and to help relieve the dry and itchiness. E is also going to see a dermatologist for his arms. He's always had these little bumps, like acne on his upper arms and our ped thought it was keratosis, but after looking at it again and seeing him scratching it incessantly in her office, she's wondering if it's molloscum. Either way, we may be able to get him some relief. E is also going to see a neurologist for the first time. We've never had a referral for one before but I've always heard other parents talk about EEG's and other testing for children on the spectrum. She thinks they may also be able to give us some ideas for self-coping skills and maybe some sensory or other type therapies! I will do anything to help E succeed in the classroom and socially! He is such a sweet kid and deserves it.
A has finally seemed to settle down some in the classroom, not talking AS much ;) but he did get his "questions" today. I'm really proud of him though, because he's trying so hard to make progress with his behavior and not interrupting, etc. He's been really trying to help out at home too. A is a good kiddo.
Baby J has a dr appt Friday with an orthopedic surgeon. He's getting his left thumb looked at finally, since he can't straighten it at the knuckle and hyper-extends it where the thumb meets the hand. He compensates but we want to rule out any other problems as well as see why it's this way. 2 more weeks till his surgery.
On top of all that, Baby J and I helped out at the book fair yesterday and today, Jas and I have an appt tomorrow, A has basketball open gym Friday after school and then the weekend is jam-packed. Jas and A have an all-day spring fun day with cub scouts and then the pack meeting is Sunday! Jason starts college on Monday night!!! I can't wait for summer for the boys to be home during the day, so we can just lounge sometimes, and find some neat stuff to do this summer. I've got to get our summer bucket list made up!
We did get a referral for A for his very dry, itchy skin. The poor child is constantly itchy, but no rash or anything and his hands will get so dry they look chapped. Nothing ever seems to help and now, the back of his hands are a darker tone than the rest of his arms! Hyper-pigmentation, she called it. She wants him to see a dermatologist to see what they recommend to prevent it from getting worse and to help relieve the dry and itchiness. E is also going to see a dermatologist for his arms. He's always had these little bumps, like acne on his upper arms and our ped thought it was keratosis, but after looking at it again and seeing him scratching it incessantly in her office, she's wondering if it's molloscum. Either way, we may be able to get him some relief. E is also going to see a neurologist for the first time. We've never had a referral for one before but I've always heard other parents talk about EEG's and other testing for children on the spectrum. She thinks they may also be able to give us some ideas for self-coping skills and maybe some sensory or other type therapies! I will do anything to help E succeed in the classroom and socially! He is such a sweet kid and deserves it.
A has finally seemed to settle down some in the classroom, not talking AS much ;) but he did get his "questions" today. I'm really proud of him though, because he's trying so hard to make progress with his behavior and not interrupting, etc. He's been really trying to help out at home too. A is a good kiddo.
Baby J has a dr appt Friday with an orthopedic surgeon. He's getting his left thumb looked at finally, since he can't straighten it at the knuckle and hyper-extends it where the thumb meets the hand. He compensates but we want to rule out any other problems as well as see why it's this way. 2 more weeks till his surgery.
On top of all that, Baby J and I helped out at the book fair yesterday and today, Jas and I have an appt tomorrow, A has basketball open gym Friday after school and then the weekend is jam-packed. Jas and A have an all-day spring fun day with cub scouts and then the pack meeting is Sunday! Jason starts college on Monday night!!! I can't wait for summer for the boys to be home during the day, so we can just lounge sometimes, and find some neat stuff to do this summer. I've got to get our summer bucket list made up!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Sunday...
After a couple conversations, and some decision making on my part, I'm making some BIG changes! Not going to disclose all the details right now, but it's all for the better.
On that note, yesterday morning we all got up and made pancakes for breakfast. For the first time in months (years?) I exercised! I have a couple of "Biggest Loser" work-out DVDs and I decided to do the cardio one. 30 minutes - including warm-up and cool-down - of straight moving. I have to say, my leg muscles are hurting today! In a good way, though.
I really wanted to go to Mass yesterday - we haven't been good about it, but it's a special day this Sunday for Alex and I've been wanting to make more of an effort to go - and so we (the 3 boys and I) got ready and made it on time. At one point, Jackson started getting a little fussy, so I knew he and I would have to step out. The way our church is set up, you can stand in the foyer area and see into the sanctuary through several picture windows, so I decided to leave the older boys sitting there by themselves. After all, E will be 11 in July and Alex 8 in about 6 weeks so truthfully they are old enough to sit there. The highlight, though, and the thing that made me truly feel at home at our parish for probably the first time is what happened next. When Jack and I stepped out, I told the older boys to stay in their seats rather than go up for Communion - a blessing in Alex's case. They were fine with that, but as I watched from the other side of the window, they were trying to remember what exactly they should do. The woman sitting in front of us, who teaches Children's Liturgy of the Word, and helps with Catechism classes, turned and had the boys move up by her. She helped them figure out what to do and took them up with her. :) After they went back to their seats, she turned and smiled to me and I mouthed "thank you". Just before Mass ended, Jack and I went back in. The older lady behind us was so kind and said how well behaved they were and what a nice family we have. Seriously made me happy.
They were doing sign-ups for vacation bible school for K-5, but E is technically 5th grade-age, so I explained to the nice lady, mentioning that he's only 10, has Asperger's and would like to go. She was so helpful, talking to him and explaining since it's his first year, that she would recommend him joining in the activities anyway, rather than helping like the other 6th graders and older. She also mentioned that her 10th grader has Asperger's!
Today, I woke up and my legs and back are sore! LOL. I'm taking the day off, and working out again tomorrow. I know as time goes on it will get easier, and I will get stronger and have better endurance. But I also know that I have to listen to my body, and today it says to just relax a bit.
I've been trying to come up with story ideas, but everything I come up with feels all wrong or I can't get it down on paper right. I need a nice, quiet place to go and write for a couple of days and just let the ideas flow. But if I were to get a couple days alone, I'd probably just sleep and do nothing. ;)
Not sure where this post was going when I started it this morning but here's where it ends. No matter what, follow your dreams. Remember you are loved and even when you make mistakes - because NOBODY is perfect - somebody out there looks up to you, or believes in you. You are the only you, and you're special just the way you are. Be kind to one another, because there is enough bad out there in this world. If everyone just tries a little harder to be nice, the world would be a better place.
On that note, yesterday morning we all got up and made pancakes for breakfast. For the first time in months (years?) I exercised! I have a couple of "Biggest Loser" work-out DVDs and I decided to do the cardio one. 30 minutes - including warm-up and cool-down - of straight moving. I have to say, my leg muscles are hurting today! In a good way, though.
I really wanted to go to Mass yesterday - we haven't been good about it, but it's a special day this Sunday for Alex and I've been wanting to make more of an effort to go - and so we (the 3 boys and I) got ready and made it on time. At one point, Jackson started getting a little fussy, so I knew he and I would have to step out. The way our church is set up, you can stand in the foyer area and see into the sanctuary through several picture windows, so I decided to leave the older boys sitting there by themselves. After all, E will be 11 in July and Alex 8 in about 6 weeks so truthfully they are old enough to sit there. The highlight, though, and the thing that made me truly feel at home at our parish for probably the first time is what happened next. When Jack and I stepped out, I told the older boys to stay in their seats rather than go up for Communion - a blessing in Alex's case. They were fine with that, but as I watched from the other side of the window, they were trying to remember what exactly they should do. The woman sitting in front of us, who teaches Children's Liturgy of the Word, and helps with Catechism classes, turned and had the boys move up by her. She helped them figure out what to do and took them up with her. :) After they went back to their seats, she turned and smiled to me and I mouthed "thank you". Just before Mass ended, Jack and I went back in. The older lady behind us was so kind and said how well behaved they were and what a nice family we have. Seriously made me happy.
They were doing sign-ups for vacation bible school for K-5, but E is technically 5th grade-age, so I explained to the nice lady, mentioning that he's only 10, has Asperger's and would like to go. She was so helpful, talking to him and explaining since it's his first year, that she would recommend him joining in the activities anyway, rather than helping like the other 6th graders and older. She also mentioned that her 10th grader has Asperger's!
Today, I woke up and my legs and back are sore! LOL. I'm taking the day off, and working out again tomorrow. I know as time goes on it will get easier, and I will get stronger and have better endurance. But I also know that I have to listen to my body, and today it says to just relax a bit.
I've been trying to come up with story ideas, but everything I come up with feels all wrong or I can't get it down on paper right. I need a nice, quiet place to go and write for a couple of days and just let the ideas flow. But if I were to get a couple days alone, I'd probably just sleep and do nothing. ;)
Not sure where this post was going when I started it this morning but here's where it ends. No matter what, follow your dreams. Remember you are loved and even when you make mistakes - because NOBODY is perfect - somebody out there looks up to you, or believes in you. You are the only you, and you're special just the way you are. Be kind to one another, because there is enough bad out there in this world. If everyone just tries a little harder to be nice, the world would be a better place.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Very rough day and night
I picked the boys up from school yesterday, only to find out they both had "questions". It's the school's disciplinary actions. First they get a warning, then RTC questions (what was I doing? what should I have been doing? What can I change? etc.) then finally they go to the RTC (responsible thinking classroom) room for a little while and talk to the vice principal or whomever.
Alex always seems to get his questions from talking, interrupting or not listening to the teacher. His "problems" are never too bad, and he's 7, in the third grade and the whole class is a talkative bunch, according to his teacher.
Ethan, on the other hand, has been having some meltdowns. He's our Aspie. I love my children dearly, but there are certain things that I don't understand when it comes to E's frustrations and anxiety. I don't know how to help him. 3 or 4 weeks ago he had started hurting himself on a daily basis. He would get upset about something and punch himself, pinch his cheeks, smack himself with a book, etc. He was doing it out of anger. E has never hurt anyone else, and never seriously injured himself, thankfully. The worst incident was a few months ago when he smashed his head on the office wall and put a small dent in it, but he was uninjured. Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, after talking to him till I was blue in the face, for the gazillionth time about why we shouldn't hurt ourselves, that feeling angry is ok, but there are better ways to deal with those and ALL feelings, I came up with our incentive plan. If he could go all day with no self-injurious behavior, he would earn a star. After40 30 stars, I would take him to go buy a used DS game. He loved the idea and it seemed to give him something to focus on and help him calm himself in class. E went 8 days of school (so Wed-Fri of week 1 (started on Wed), and Mon-Thurs of week 2(no school Fri) and Monday of this week) with no incidents. Then yesterday, every little thing started bugging him. He ended up punching himself in the right cheek, and it came to the point that the teacher, after asking him to stop, had to gently take his hand and hold it so he would stop. Then he went to the office for a break. He has a behavior plan and built-in breaks, for whenever he feels he needs them. The boys go to a public charter school and E is in a "regular" classroom, self-contained 6th grade, instead of switching classes with most of the middle schoolers. The school added a 3rd sixth grade this year and this is how they did it. We chose to have him in there, as he's a year younger (10) than most of the other kids and thought it would give him another year to mature and learn responsibility and organization. He does have a first hour that he goes to that switches each trimester, currently Spanish. This year, his IEP is focused on social skills and behavior, as academically, he is at or above grade level (even after being a grade ahead!).
So, after all that, I go to ask him what happened and he says "I'm sorry, I accidentally punched myself." Sigh. Really, buddy? How can you accidentally punch yourself, over and over. It makes me sad. Regardless, we talked to the teacher, and he had a better afternoon. I ask several times if he had all of his homework. Yes, mom, of course I do.
We get home and I tell the boys to do their homework, the play 60 challenge, and the March is Reading Month calendar. E proceeds to tell me that he forgot a sheet of paper to do his vocab pictures. Seriously? Well, I let him know he still needed to do them and to figure it out. I'm proud of him, because a few minutes later he lets me know that he's going to draw them on another sheet of white paper and paste it on the yellow construction paper when he gets to school tomorrow. Hooray for problem solving!!
At this point, I'm starting to not feel so hot. I've had a cold off and on for a few days, Alex has had a sinus infection and is on amoxicillin, and Jack is coughing and has a runny nose. E is the only one of us not sick. Jason's out of town for work and Alex has cub scouts. So I hurry up and make scrambled eggs, sausage and toast for dinner, we eat, I put Jack in his jammies, and we leave. By the time we get to cub scouts, I feel dizzy, chills, achey, and have a really bad headache starting.
We left a few minutes early and by the time we got home, I was ready to just go to bed for the night. I had the boys take showers and go to bed early and Jack was sleeping until five minutes before I was ready for bed (HA!). I had the worst sinus pressure. It was so bad, my teeth were hurting. We don't have any aleve, ibuprofen or tylenol (only 3 meds that I know are safe for breastfeeding for pain) and I can't take sudafed because I get heart palpitations from it usually. Jack and I laid down and I think between him waking up due to a stuffy nose or wanting to nurse - he didn't eat well at dinner last night, and slept right through lunch so he had a light snack around 3:30 and so he wanted to nurse on and off all night last night - and me waking up due to sore muscles and my head still pounding, we were up at least every two hours from 8:30 till 5:30, sometimes for over an hour. The little sleep I did get was very restless. Finally at 5, I dug through our medicine cabinet and found some advil congestion. It has pseudoephedrine in it, which I was leary about but I had to do something! By 5:30am, my headache/sinus pressure was waning, and I fell asleep on the recliner with Jack till 6:45.
Since I had told the older boys the night before that if I wasn't feeling any better, I might just keep them home today, E came out and asked how I was doing. I told him I was ok, and to go ahead and get ready for school. He looked very relieved. :) We were running a little behind and I think he was probably marked tardy for Spanish today, so hopefully that doesn't ruin his whole day. :(
Here's hoping they both have a better day and less homework! I really want to just come home and spend some time with them. We are going to sit and do cub scout stuff maybe. Alex has his Light of Christ book so he can get his religious pin, and the Fun for the Family book with activities we can all do together and earn pins/patches! I was thinking we can sit and pick out which ones they would like to start with from each section. Also we have to decorate their pillowcase for the talent show. I still haven't gotten everything I need, but I have some stuff around here, so I may be able to improvise.
Kudos to all the single parents out there. I have done it alone before, when Jason was in Afghanistan for 6 months and Louisiana for a few months with just the two older boys and when he was in California for a month when E was 2, and then when he first started working at this job and he was only home 2-3 days a week (usually the weekend) and he was living up here in an apartment during the work week for over a year. It was hard. This seems harder, having a third child thrown in. I don't know if it's because Jack is still so little, or maybe it's because we are (almost) all sick right now. But I miss Jason, I miss his help, and his jokes, just his presence. He and I really do feed off of each other, good and bad, but right now, I could use the calm, collected side of him. It always seems like when I have a bad day, he's able to be the rock, and vice versa. We are a pretty great team. Most of the time. ;)
Alex always seems to get his questions from talking, interrupting or not listening to the teacher. His "problems" are never too bad, and he's 7, in the third grade and the whole class is a talkative bunch, according to his teacher.
Ethan, on the other hand, has been having some meltdowns. He's our Aspie. I love my children dearly, but there are certain things that I don't understand when it comes to E's frustrations and anxiety. I don't know how to help him. 3 or 4 weeks ago he had started hurting himself on a daily basis. He would get upset about something and punch himself, pinch his cheeks, smack himself with a book, etc. He was doing it out of anger. E has never hurt anyone else, and never seriously injured himself, thankfully. The worst incident was a few months ago when he smashed his head on the office wall and put a small dent in it, but he was uninjured. Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, after talking to him till I was blue in the face, for the gazillionth time about why we shouldn't hurt ourselves, that feeling angry is ok, but there are better ways to deal with those and ALL feelings, I came up with our incentive plan. If he could go all day with no self-injurious behavior, he would earn a star. After
So, after all that, I go to ask him what happened and he says "I'm sorry, I accidentally punched myself." Sigh. Really, buddy? How can you accidentally punch yourself, over and over. It makes me sad. Regardless, we talked to the teacher, and he had a better afternoon. I ask several times if he had all of his homework. Yes, mom, of course I do.
We get home and I tell the boys to do their homework, the play 60 challenge, and the March is Reading Month calendar. E proceeds to tell me that he forgot a sheet of paper to do his vocab pictures. Seriously? Well, I let him know he still needed to do them and to figure it out. I'm proud of him, because a few minutes later he lets me know that he's going to draw them on another sheet of white paper and paste it on the yellow construction paper when he gets to school tomorrow. Hooray for problem solving!!
At this point, I'm starting to not feel so hot. I've had a cold off and on for a few days, Alex has had a sinus infection and is on amoxicillin, and Jack is coughing and has a runny nose. E is the only one of us not sick. Jason's out of town for work and Alex has cub scouts. So I hurry up and make scrambled eggs, sausage and toast for dinner, we eat, I put Jack in his jammies, and we leave. By the time we get to cub scouts, I feel dizzy, chills, achey, and have a really bad headache starting.
We left a few minutes early and by the time we got home, I was ready to just go to bed for the night. I had the boys take showers and go to bed early and Jack was sleeping until five minutes before I was ready for bed (HA!). I had the worst sinus pressure. It was so bad, my teeth were hurting. We don't have any aleve, ibuprofen or tylenol (only 3 meds that I know are safe for breastfeeding for pain) and I can't take sudafed because I get heart palpitations from it usually. Jack and I laid down and I think between him waking up due to a stuffy nose or wanting to nurse - he didn't eat well at dinner last night, and slept right through lunch so he had a light snack around 3:30 and so he wanted to nurse on and off all night last night - and me waking up due to sore muscles and my head still pounding, we were up at least every two hours from 8:30 till 5:30, sometimes for over an hour. The little sleep I did get was very restless. Finally at 5, I dug through our medicine cabinet and found some advil congestion. It has pseudoephedrine in it, which I was leary about but I had to do something! By 5:30am, my headache/sinus pressure was waning, and I fell asleep on the recliner with Jack till 6:45.
Since I had told the older boys the night before that if I wasn't feeling any better, I might just keep them home today, E came out and asked how I was doing. I told him I was ok, and to go ahead and get ready for school. He looked very relieved. :) We were running a little behind and I think he was probably marked tardy for Spanish today, so hopefully that doesn't ruin his whole day. :(
Here's hoping they both have a better day and less homework! I really want to just come home and spend some time with them. We are going to sit and do cub scout stuff maybe. Alex has his Light of Christ book so he can get his religious pin, and the Fun for the Family book with activities we can all do together and earn pins/patches! I was thinking we can sit and pick out which ones they would like to start with from each section. Also we have to decorate their pillowcase for the talent show. I still haven't gotten everything I need, but I have some stuff around here, so I may be able to improvise.
Kudos to all the single parents out there. I have done it alone before, when Jason was in Afghanistan for 6 months and Louisiana for a few months with just the two older boys and when he was in California for a month when E was 2, and then when he first started working at this job and he was only home 2-3 days a week (usually the weekend) and he was living up here in an apartment during the work week for over a year. It was hard. This seems harder, having a third child thrown in. I don't know if it's because Jack is still so little, or maybe it's because we are (almost) all sick right now. But I miss Jason, I miss his help, and his jokes, just his presence. He and I really do feed off of each other, good and bad, but right now, I could use the calm, collected side of him. It always seems like when I have a bad day, he's able to be the rock, and vice versa. We are a pretty great team. Most of the time. ;)
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Proud of my boys
This weekend was a big one for the 2 older boys. E had the regional spelling bee and Alex had the blue and gold banquet for cub scouts.
I took Ethan along with my mother-in-law and Jack to the community college where the bee was being held. I made sure E was okay with me not sitting backstage with him. Last year, Jas sat back there, just in case. He was so funny. He said to me "No, mom, I'm ok. I'm mom's big boy. I'm your big boy!" LOL. Yes, buddy, you sure are. So we went and sat down to wait for the kids to all be called back so they could start the bee. We waited for almost an hour! Finally they called the kids back and announced the judges and the gentleman who was giving the words, as well as stated the rules. E was #25 so we had a little of a wait. During the first round, each child had to state their name and school and then spell their first word. Of course, my son, the ham that he is, had everybody in the audience laughing. I even heard at least one person behind me say she remembered him from last year. He really does shine, and make an impression on people. I really don't know why I worry about his future so much. He's going to do just great out there in the big wide world some day. I just hope that "someday" doesn't get here too quickly... Anyway, he got the first word right: denture. They were having difficulty during the first round with sound so after all 75 students had a turn (53 made it to the next round), they took a 15-20 minute break.
Second round came and it was eventually E's turn again. This time: oratorio. He spelled it incorrect - ouritorio - but after a big sigh of disappointment, he walked off stage calmly and was just fine. :) I found out later that 38 kids went out in the second and third rounds, and round 12 ended with just 2 left. The last 2 boys battled it out for 13 more rounds, when the top speller finally run in round 25! Crazy! Anyway, so after E got out, I gathered our things, met my M-I-L and Jack in the lobby and picked E up from backstage and he got his "prizes" - a certificate, a dictionary, and a tote bag with a ruler, pencil and pad of paper inside. He decided since he has the same dictionary from last year, he wants to donate this year's to his classroom. When I asked him how he felt about getting out so early on, he said he was ok, and "how am I supposed to spell the word right, when I couldn't even understand what he was saying?" and "I don't remember even studying that word!" Ha. He is certainly something else.
Big thanks to Marsha - my M-I-L - for helping me out with Jack. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!
Alex went with Jason and my F-I-L to the blue and gold banquet. They got to eat chicken shack and enjoy some time visiting. After lunch, they had the awards ceremony, starting with the younger kids (tiger, wolf and bear) and then the webelos got their awards and they did a special "arrow of light" ceremony.
Alex received his Bobcat patch and pin (finally!), his Wolf patch and pin, his Blue and Gold patch, Order of the Eskimo patch (for winter fun day), Scout Sunday patch (for wearing his uniform to church in February for Scout Sunday), and his Gold Arrow Point for finish 10 electives in his Wolf book.
He was so excited to show us when we met up at the house. I don't think he stopped smiling at all! Love it! We are excited to work on more electives with him, as well as belt loop activities, the family fun book and the Light of Christ book (so he can earn the family badge, and the pin/badge for Catholic 2nd graders!). I'm planning to drive over to the Scout store and pick those 2 books up this week, so he can finish them before the end of the school year.
At his next pack meeting, he should get his first two belt loops - collecting and video games. He is starting to collect coins from around the world and has a pretty nice start from old coins Jason and I had and gave to him. He found a 1943 steel penny at the consignment shop a couple of weeks ago that we are going to go back and get one of these days. ;)
As soon as we get all his patches on his uniform shirt and patches/pins on his red vest (before next Tuesday's den meeting?), he wants to wear his uniform on their next casual day - probably this Thursday! - to show the kids what he got. Seriously, the boy is so excited!
These two make me proud, not just because of what they do, but because of how they handle things. Even though Ethan didn't win, he took it in stride, mostly, and worked hard up until then. Alex worked hard to earn those badges, and wants to continue to work hard to earn more. So I'm proud that they aren't giving up, that they are building character, trying new things, working hard, learning, and having fun all the way! Speaking of learning and trying new things, Ethan went up to two of the other contestants on Sunday to introduce himself. While we probably need to work on his etiquette a little, he's made great strides in that. Before, he would have been oblivious to the other boys and girls, but he told me he wanted to go meet them! Baby steps are becoming leaps...
Oh yeah, and a big shout-out to my in-laws, Marsha and Joe! Thank you so much for treating us to dinner Sunday night and for coming with us to the boys' activities! It meant a lot to us and it was so nice to see you guys. I hope we can make it down your way sooner than later. And even though my mom had to work, thanks to my mom and dad, Linda and Gale, for thinking of us, texting me to find out how they did, and for trying to watch the live-stream, even though it was a crappy audio! I can't wait to see you guys again. It's been too long. :(
I took Ethan along with my mother-in-law and Jack to the community college where the bee was being held. I made sure E was okay with me not sitting backstage with him. Last year, Jas sat back there, just in case. He was so funny. He said to me "No, mom, I'm ok. I'm mom's big boy. I'm your big boy!" LOL. Yes, buddy, you sure are. So we went and sat down to wait for the kids to all be called back so they could start the bee. We waited for almost an hour! Finally they called the kids back and announced the judges and the gentleman who was giving the words, as well as stated the rules. E was #25 so we had a little of a wait. During the first round, each child had to state their name and school and then spell their first word. Of course, my son, the ham that he is, had everybody in the audience laughing. I even heard at least one person behind me say she remembered him from last year. He really does shine, and make an impression on people. I really don't know why I worry about his future so much. He's going to do just great out there in the big wide world some day. I just hope that "someday" doesn't get here too quickly... Anyway, he got the first word right: denture. They were having difficulty during the first round with sound so after all 75 students had a turn (53 made it to the next round), they took a 15-20 minute break.
Second round came and it was eventually E's turn again. This time: oratorio. He spelled it incorrect - ouritorio - but after a big sigh of disappointment, he walked off stage calmly and was just fine. :) I found out later that 38 kids went out in the second and third rounds, and round 12 ended with just 2 left. The last 2 boys battled it out for 13 more rounds, when the top speller finally run in round 25! Crazy! Anyway, so after E got out, I gathered our things, met my M-I-L and Jack in the lobby and picked E up from backstage and he got his "prizes" - a certificate, a dictionary, and a tote bag with a ruler, pencil and pad of paper inside. He decided since he has the same dictionary from last year, he wants to donate this year's to his classroom. When I asked him how he felt about getting out so early on, he said he was ok, and "how am I supposed to spell the word right, when I couldn't even understand what he was saying?" and "I don't remember even studying that word!" Ha. He is certainly something else.
Big thanks to Marsha - my M-I-L - for helping me out with Jack. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you!
Alex went with Jason and my F-I-L to the blue and gold banquet. They got to eat chicken shack and enjoy some time visiting. After lunch, they had the awards ceremony, starting with the younger kids (tiger, wolf and bear) and then the webelos got their awards and they did a special "arrow of light" ceremony.
Alex received his Bobcat patch and pin (finally!), his Wolf patch and pin, his Blue and Gold patch, Order of the Eskimo patch (for winter fun day), Scout Sunday patch (for wearing his uniform to church in February for Scout Sunday), and his Gold Arrow Point for finish 10 electives in his Wolf book.
He was so excited to show us when we met up at the house. I don't think he stopped smiling at all! Love it! We are excited to work on more electives with him, as well as belt loop activities, the family fun book and the Light of Christ book (so he can earn the family badge, and the pin/badge for Catholic 2nd graders!). I'm planning to drive over to the Scout store and pick those 2 books up this week, so he can finish them before the end of the school year.
At his next pack meeting, he should get his first two belt loops - collecting and video games. He is starting to collect coins from around the world and has a pretty nice start from old coins Jason and I had and gave to him. He found a 1943 steel penny at the consignment shop a couple of weeks ago that we are going to go back and get one of these days. ;)
As soon as we get all his patches on his uniform shirt and patches/pins on his red vest (before next Tuesday's den meeting?), he wants to wear his uniform on their next casual day - probably this Thursday! - to show the kids what he got. Seriously, the boy is so excited!
These two make me proud, not just because of what they do, but because of how they handle things. Even though Ethan didn't win, he took it in stride, mostly, and worked hard up until then. Alex worked hard to earn those badges, and wants to continue to work hard to earn more. So I'm proud that they aren't giving up, that they are building character, trying new things, working hard, learning, and having fun all the way! Speaking of learning and trying new things, Ethan went up to two of the other contestants on Sunday to introduce himself. While we probably need to work on his etiquette a little, he's made great strides in that. Before, he would have been oblivious to the other boys and girls, but he told me he wanted to go meet them! Baby steps are becoming leaps...
Oh yeah, and a big shout-out to my in-laws, Marsha and Joe! Thank you so much for treating us to dinner Sunday night and for coming with us to the boys' activities! It meant a lot to us and it was so nice to see you guys. I hope we can make it down your way sooner than later. And even though my mom had to work, thanks to my mom and dad, Linda and Gale, for thinking of us, texting me to find out how they did, and for trying to watch the live-stream, even though it was a crappy audio! I can't wait to see you guys again. It's been too long. :(
Friday, February 22, 2013
7 Quick Takes #2
I'm looking forward to this weekend. We aren't doing much of anything tomorrow, but Sunday is going to be a fun, busy day. Ethan is in the regional bee for the Scripp's National Spelling Bee and if he wins, he goes on to the National Bee in Washington, DC. Alex is attending the Blue and Gold Banquet for Cub Scouts and will get (hopefully) his bobcat and wolf badges and possible his gold and first silver arrow points. He's super excited about it. Jason talked to his mom last night and they are going to come up and visit for the day. Jason and F-I-L will go with Alex, and M-I-L, Jack and I will go with Ethan, since the events are at the same time. Exciting!
We've got a cold bug going around here. First, Jason, who hardly ever gets sick, came down with it a few days ago, but is feeling much better now. Then I started feeling not so great, first with a stuffy nose, aches, and just kind of yucky feeling. Now I'm pretty much just coughing and a bit stuffy. Last night, Baby Jack started coughing some and has a runny nose. :( This is probably his first real cold, though he had a stuffy nose for a couple of days a while back. I'm just hoping that he's better quickly and that E and A don't get sick.
The second trimester at school is over next week and we have conferences. I like that I can go online and keep track of their grades, so there's no shockers on the grade cards. Right now, they are doing good. Alex has all A's and E has mostly A's and B's with a C in Art. I'll be glad when Art is over for him, because his perfectionism holds him back so much in there. He's assigned Spanish next trimester, which I hope he enjoys. Alex has Spanish, too, but goes all year since he's only in elementary (3rd). Talent show is coming up at the end of March, right before Spring Break.
Speaking of Ethan, we've been having a lot of frustration lately, to the point of him being self-injurious. He'll pinch his cheeks, smack himself, bang his head with a book, he even poked himself in the leg with mechanical pencil. No amount of telling him not to seemed to be working. So I offered him some incentive. Earn a star for each day of no hurting himself, and a second star for following along with class (he has a tendency to go ahead in the subject, or finish early and then find something else to do) and collect 40 stars. At that point, he can pick out a (up to $15) video game. So far, he's had two great days in a row. We'll see if the bribe incentive works...
--- 5 ---
Jason has to go out of town for work, starting March 3 but he'll be back the 8th, thankfully. He gets to go to Ft. Worth, TX to meet with the big bosses. It should be an interesting week around here.
Thanks to a good friend who told me about them, I bought some dye-free suckers and gummy bears at Meijer (local grocery store). They are Yum Earth brand, and even though they are on clearance and we probably won't be able to get them there for much longer, I'm pretty excited! The suckers are pretty good - I especially like the watermelon flavor and the boys liked them a lot. They have yet to try the gummy bears, but I ate a pack. They are pretty good flavor-wise, but kind of hard/sticky, not really sure how to explain it. They don't remind me of the softer versions I'm used to, I guess. But none-the-less, they aren't bad at all! I'm sure the kids will enjoy them as a treat.
I played my flute the other day for the first time in a while and it was nice. I want to get into playing more often. I was even thinking of looking into a local community band that is through the community college, maybe in the fall. It might be fun! If not, at least I have quite a few decent pieces of music laying around here and the boys always love to hear me play. :)
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Another old blog post, one of my favorites
A note about "some kid" ;) with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism
*Originally written on my old blog, November 10, 2011, and shared on my private facebook as well. I haven't updated this one, and there may be some spelling/grammar mistakes.*When I sat down to write this, I almost titled it "A note about Asperger's Syndrome/Autism" but then I thought long and hard. Every child is different. Including every child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. Actually every person is different. We all have our little quirks about us and things we like or don't like, our own personalities, etc. So this story or note or post or whatever you would like to call it is about MY family, and MY son. I've decided to post this on Facebook as well as my blog. This isn't meant as anything bad. I just want people in general to understand some things.
Let me start with a short background. I am a married mother of 3
This is what I would like you to know though.
Things that are obvious to you, may not be to him. He has a different way of thinking and looking at things. Be patient. Teach him those "obvious" things. He doesn't just learn them by watching like the rest of us.
Things that are obvious to him, may not be to us. Realize that he's not trying to be rude when he says something matter-of-factly. He may not see that you don't "just know" what he does. Be patient and listen to him. That doesn't mean let him be rude. That means listen and then say to him "Even though you may not have meant to, you said that rudely. If you want to tell me something, please do but use a nice tone and words to explain to me." - just as you would do with him when you explain. Again, he has to be taught this. And he will forget and need to be reminded.
He has a sense of humor. It just may be different than yours. He may find something inappropriate funny and you may have to explain why it's inappropriate. He may not get certain jokes, either.
He may not know when to stop talking about something. If you get him talking about his favorite things, he will go on and on. If you want to change the subject, it may be hard to and he may not want to. Or you may want to just walk away. Try not to do that. He has feelings too and you wouldn't like that if people did that to you. Try to gently let him know you would like to change the subject.
He may not seem like he is listening but most times he is. Just because he doesn't look at you doesn't mean he isn't listening. He's just not remembering the "rules of etiquette" for conversation and active listening. Gently remind him that it's good manners to look at the speaker, at least from time to time, so they are aware that he cares what they have to say.
If he says something rude or sarcastic, if he ignores you or doesn't answer right away, if he seems like he's being stand-offish or doesn't like you, just remember he needs you to help him open up. He isn't trying to be mean, he may be overwhelmed or not know how to respond. Don't give up, he wants to know you and for you to know him.
He has a love of maps and drawing. He is smart. He is funny. He loves people to a fault. He doesn't always see if people don't really like him or "get" him because he doesn't understand why people wouldn't like him or somebody else. He likes everybody! He gets upset easily. He gets frustrated about things that wouldn't bother the rest of us. Don't get mad at him. Help him. Be there for him. Talk to him. Don't give up on him. Open your heart and arms to him. YOU have to try a little harder because it's harder for him to try!!
E is a wonderful kid. Everyone that has taught him, taken care of him, taken time to be friends with him and loved him has told me that.
"He's so sweet." "He's so nice" "He cares so much" "He's funny" "He does so good on his work" "I hate to see him so upset"
E is a perfectionist. He thinks he should get something the very first time he tries to do it. And of course that means, when he doesn't, he may lose it. He may have a tantrum or a meltdown. You may think he's just being bad or mom and dad don't know how to control him, etc. No, that is his frustration coming out in the only way he knows how in that moment. Besides, I don't want to CONTROL my children. I want to RAISE them to be happy, healthy, productive members of our society and to hopefully do the same with their own children someday.
I don't kid myself. I know he can be hard to handle sometimes. I get frustrated, angry even. I've yelled more times than I care to remember. I am not perfect. But I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be his mom and love him and try MY best. It seems to be working so far.
It may seem like I'm focusing on the "bad" or "hard" aspects of E's behavior. Maybe I am. But sometimes that is what needs to be explained to people on the outside, even people that are close to us but still outside our little family.
Some of the best things come out of those "bad" things. Like when he has an amazing day at school, even when transitions are normally hard for him. It's something to be excited about. Or when he tells a funny joke out of nowhere. Or when he runs up to his dad when he gets home to give him a hug or asks him to wrestle. When he accomplishes something, even a little thing, that is out of the ordinary or difficult for him, it's awesome.
He's a great big brother to A and has taught him a lot. Some good, some bad, just like any sibling will do. They are the best of friends and the worst enemies when they get mad at each other. I know both of them will be great big brothers to J when he is born. They both already love him so much. I love my boys so very much and just because A is "easier" to get to know and shares his personality with you more easily doesn't mean you should just brush E off. If you give him the opportunity, you will be amazed at the love that kid will share with you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)