Life. Love. Family. Our Perfect Imperfection. Living life as a Catholic, homeschooling family with three amazing, unique boys, a too-oft serious, frustrated and anxious but also loving momma, and a fun-loving, hardworking dad.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


We, as humans, in general are concerned with how others perceive us. We care to much about how we look, or present ourselves to the world. I'm not saying we shouldn't put our best foot forward, or care about other people and their feelings but a decision that affects my family or myself, well it shouldn't really matter what others think or what they opinion they have on it. Unless of course, it truly affects their life. Or is a safety concern, like a child running into traffic. Because I would hope that each one of us would stop that child, and confront the parent if said parent was truly ALLOWING that child to run in the busy street.

Now, on to perception and how we perceive ourselves. How we put ourselves out there for others to see. I have a little story to share:

On Sunday night, I made whole-wheat pizza pockets for the next day's lunch. Which by the way, turned out awesome, and were delicious!! I love her blog and recipes. The items I've made so far have mostly gotten rave reviews from the kids. But I digress. This is not about the recipe. More about what happened.

So I made the pizza pockets, and poked an initial into each, so we would know who's is who's, since we all made them slightly different. As I was prepping the last 2, Alex walks out and is checking them out.

Alex: Who's the "M" for?

Me: Mom. See, everybody has their initial. "E" for Ethan, "A" for Alex.

Alex: But there's no "D" for Dad.

Me: You're right, I put a "J", didn't I?

See here's thing. I thought of  Jason as "Jason", not as "Dad" (obviously he's not my dad, so why would I, right?). But when thinking of myself, I didn't think "Crystal". I thought "Mom".

This morning, on the drive home, I was thinking about how an "M" upside down is "W", which made me think of how I'm also "wife".

I realized, even though I don't want others to think of me as only ("as only a mom" "as only a wife" "as only... fill in the blank"), I think of myself in those terms, more often than I think of myself as a whole person.

Sure, we all do that, right? We have a tendency to put others first, etc. However, if I don't want others to think of me like that, I must stop thinking like that. I must start seeing my whole being. I need to see "Crystal", not "mom" or "wife". Yes I am both, proudly and happily, but I am Crystal and those are both a PART OF THAT WHOLE PERSON!!

I know. It's a silly thing, really. But when you start seeing only part of who you are, or only concerning yourself with that aspect of your life, personality, whatever, then it can overtake you and you don't grow as a person. I want to use the things I like about myself, the things I love about being a mom and wife, and the things I enjoy doing to become a better person, to help others and to really blossom.

How do you perceive yourself? What about others? Does it really matter what others think  about you?