Haircut day at the Hamers' house

Jason asked this morning if he should take the boys to get their hair cut, because he would like to get his done. That was my hint ;) 

One way that I like to try and save money is giving haircuts to the boys at home. At $10-12 (plus gratuity!) a pop times 4 guys (3 boys and Dad), it adds up quick every 2-3 weeks. 

I refuse to do Jason's because I'm always worried I will mess up the back hairline, so he still goes to the barber/salon. I've done it before, but it always causes an argument because I'm nervous and he has 100% confidence in me.

The boys are a lot easier. They get a buzz cut using the #3 on Dad's clippers. No fuss, no muss. I usually don't bother trimming the hairline

They all do pretty good too. Even Jackson. 

None of them - well, the older two - like their hair long anyway, so it's never a struggle when I suggest. Jackson watched me give them haircuts and then sat very still on the step stool in the half bathroom just like them so I could cut his. 

Now if I could just figure out how to trim my own...

Here's a pic of my handsome boys!
 

From L: Ethan (11), Jackson (22 months), Alex (8)

Need exciting topics or ideas ;)

 

 

Not sure how we managed it but we did.

Jack and I went grocery shopping while the older two boys were at catechism class. I dropped them off at 9 and drove over to the store - about a 10-15 minute drive. I didn't have the menu/list completely set (even though we are using emeals, there are always at least a couple meals we don't like or we need to adjust to our tastes, and then I have to combine breakfast, lunch and dinner items plus snacks and staples like milk on the actual list) so we sat in the car while I finished that and Jack listened to the kids' music. We didn't get in the store until 9:40, got a weeks' (plus some!) worth of groceries and checked out in 1 hour and 2 minutes! NEVER happens!

Pulled up at the school to get them right as class was letting out and we went in and talked to the teachers for a second. Alex is going to do scouting for food next Saturday so neither E nor Alex will be in catechism class next week. I did get an opportunity to find out how both boys are doing. E is "repeating" 6th grade this year, as Jas and I didn't feel he was ready for the commitment needed for Confirmation 1 classes and since he's only 11, it's no big deal. He has the same teacher he had last year, and his teacher said he is doing great and participating nicely! That's so great. Alex's teacher is a high school student and we know her somewhat. She's really nice and said that even though the class is a talkative bunch they are going through the book at a record pace and are over halfway through it. They played a game today for most of class, while learning about the 4 Gospels.

After going home and the boys helping me unload the car and put groceries away, we decided to go to lunch at the pizza buffet... I always forget how my stomach feels after eating there, even when I eat moderately. It's just NOT good for me :(

The boys needed some new clothes and Meijer had some good sales today, so we went shopping and got a bunch of shirts for Jack, some shirts, jammies, sweatpants and jeans each for Alex and Ethan. Since we haven't gone trick-or-treating yet, and the candy was 50% off, we picked up a bag of Reese's pb cups and 2 small bags of mini Snickers. Probably shouldn't have, but it's all good. Moderation. ;)

I need a good topic to write about tomorrow, I feel like I'm boring today... LOL

First day of November and NaBloPoMo!

Today's prompt over on BlogHer for NaBloPoMo is:

If you found one million dollars in the morning and had to spend it by nightfall, what would you do with the money?

I would have to say I'd start by paying off all of our bills, house, and vehicles. After that, I'd give the boys' school $250,000 to upgrade their classrooms and add on to the school (technically I would have spent the money in that day, even if the school didn't ;) ).

I'd buy Jason whatever truck he wants, a 1987 Buick Grand National and a boat. For me, a 64 1/2 blue convertible mustang, an RV, and an iPad and a new wardrobe. The boys would each get a (small) shopping spree at a toy store or wherever they wanted.

We'd pay for 3 vacations - one to Disneyland or Disneyworld, one to Europe and one to Australia.

We'd definitely buy cars or homes for siblings and parents, depending on what they need/want.

Land for us - several acres - and a nice house. ATV's and mini-bikes or dirt bikes.

Donate to autism therapies and medical costs for families, and some good charities.

Nothing really unusual. I'm sure given more than 1 day, I'd come up with even better ways to spend it ;)

Our attempt at a dye-free Halloween

Halloween can be quite challenging when it comes to one thing that we try to do. We aren't perfect about it, but we avoid artificial, petroleum-based food dyes when possible. With all the candy and treats that we have no control over, it seems it would prove very difficult, right?

Today's celebrations start with a small party in Alex's class - E's class doesn't have one as they are middle schoolers - and that entails cookies with frosting and sprinkles, juice boxes, and candy.

I signed up to bring juice boxes and sprinkles because Alex requested it. We chose Capri Sun 100% juice boxes, and that made it easy to avoid dyes as well as HFCS, though I'm sure there are healthier options. Sprinkles were a little more difficult. Of course, I don't want him to feel bad about not having colored sprinkles like the other kids, but he understands our reasons. We did find plain chocolate sprinkles that don't have artificial dyes. (It was odd though, one well-known brand had small containers of chocolate sprinkles with no dyes but their large containers of chocolate sprinkles had red 40, yellow and blue - can't remember the exact #'s - dyes!) I remembered seeing organic sprinkles somewhere, and we found them at Kroger. They aren't as vibrant - more pastel in color - and were $3.99 for a 1oz package. Well worth it though to make the boy happy :) Here's the brand we bought Let's Do Organic Sprinkelz Organic Confetti *note the link is for bulk 12 pk on Amazon.com*

He understands those are JUST for him, and I explained to the teacher the deal. She was very understanding and actually asked if he was supposed to have cupcakes and things on days other students brought birthday treats. I told her that we feel he is old enough and understands and that he can make an informed decision. I know sometimes he will choose to eat the bright blue and green and pink frosted cupcakes, and other times he will decline. He knows how he feels later and the next day or two and whether it's worth it. Also, I am only concerned with what is in my control. If I can send an alternative for a party, then I will. If I don't know what/when a birthday treat is, it's truly ok.

Back to the topic at hand. Trick or treating today may actually be cancelled or delayed due to bad thunderstorms predicted including high winds. If it was just a little rain, we'd still go out, but we'll see. All the candy that the boys will receive will undoubtedly include brightly colored candy, gum, jawbreakers, licorice, and who knows what. We are going to sort the candy and the boys can keep anything that is dye-free. Then they have a couple of choices. We can go buy dye-free lollipops and gummy bears to trade them for things they can't have; they can combine all their "no thank-yous" and leave it for the switch witch to trade an item; we can keep some things for a gingerbread house at Christmas time; or a combination of the 3. I think if they choose the switch witch, she will bring them a gift card to buy something they want. I'm considering not even doing the "switch witch" and just telling them they can trade mom and dad candy for a toy/gift card. I guess I should probably decide pretty quick, since today is Halloween ;)

I know some may think I'm ruining their fun, and a few years ago I may have felt the same way. But I know what's right for my family and my boys. They still get to dress up in costumes, go trick-or-treating and eat some candy but they don't get an overload nor will they eat tons of petroleum-based dyes. 

After E's 4th grade science experiment, and the results, I will never doubt our decision and the position we have on those dyes. Don't know what I'm talking about? Long story short: E had 2 mice and a maze. Both were given regular water and food and ran the maze for a week. Times got progressively better. One of the mice was given red food coloring in his water for a week. The other was not - he was the "control". During the second week of maze trials, the mouse given red dye got slower and couldn't figure out the maze. His times went from around 60 seconds to an ending time the last day of over FIVE minutes. He also became aggressive, erratic and confused. We used food coloring that you buy at the store and just put a few drops in his water bottle. No more than what people eat DAILY! After stopping the experiment, his behavior seemed to return to his pre-dye state. The "control" mouse kept similar times during the entire two weeks and his behavior never changed. The maze was never changed so logically after a week of running it, they knew the route pretty well. It was very interesting and E worked very hard on it. Again, I will never doubt our decision after seeing the difference.

You know you're tired when...

• You wake up at 7:02am (after waking several times before that, including almost exactly one hour ago, and plan to just "rest your eyes for 5 more minutes") and you have to leave to drive your children to school by 7:20.

• You almost forget to wake the youngest child in time, who's only 21months and thankfully doesn't need to get dressed or eat breakfast before we leave, despite the fact that when you woke up he was cuddled up in your arms in the bed...

• You forget at least 5 times that it's only Wednesday October 30th.

• Even though you finally remembered it's only Wednesday, as you are driving home after dropping 2 older children off, you STILL remember there are juice boxes and sprinkles in the back of the van and think the 8 year needs them for his classroom Halloween party. Which is tomorrow. Not today.

• When leaving school, you turn right out of the parking lot. And don't realize you've gone the wrong way until you reach the end of the road, almost 6 miles North of where you were. At 32 Mile rd. When you should have taken a left. And THEN a right. And have to go 9 1/2 miles South now instead of 3 1/2. Not too mention you went North instead of West. And you've driven this route every school day for the last 4 years and now 2 months... 

•  You've been home for over 2 hours and forget to let the dog out, even though you've seen him, petted him and made sure the oldest boy fed him before school.

Yeah, I actually made myself a pot of coffee today. I don't do that on weekdays, at least not often. I'm going back to bed ;) 

Dinner time conversations

Tonight, I was cracking up laughing at my guys. The conversation started with Jason asking what Ethan was looking at, if he had something in his ear or on his face or something. It went something like this:

E: yeah, you have a flat screen tv in your ear. Oof. Here, I got it out. *pretends to hold a giant flat screen with his head turned sideways, looking like his ear is on the ground*

Jas: You look like an Indian scout listening to the ground. Tonto!

E: What's Tonto?

Alex: It's Pluto and it's a planet!

Me: *laughing starts*

Jas: NO *laughing* It's Tonto, he was The Lone Ranger's guide and friend

Alex: OH!! Toto!!

Me: *more laughing*

Jas: *laughing* No Toto was in The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy's dog

E and Alex: *laughing hysterically*

Jas: *out of the blue* Kevin the wonderful.

Then he proceeded to make up an idea for a cartoon that would be like adventure time, but not. Kevin that looks like the guy from minecraft, his dog Crouton, and their little ninja named Lysol. They live in a refrigerator cardboard box. It would be called Quest Seconds or something. His whole story line was pretty hilarious.

What we are eating

*Just a note: This is not a sponsored post, in any way. I just want to share something that we are trying out in case it may help someone else. I don't get anything for sharing and I am paying for my membership. I just joined on Saturday, so it's still very new to us. :) *

I've been struggling with meal planning and going grocery shopping lately. I want to make some new or different meals - at least sometimes - but we seem to fall back on old favorites way too often.

Obviously they are old favorites for a reason, but it gets boring after a while and nobody wants to eat it. We are still trying to eat real, homemade meals - in other words, not from a box or mix - for most of our lunches and dinners, although we still tend to rely on cereal way too much in the mornings.

Jason and I watched a documentary the other night, The Perfect Human Diet. While I don't necessarily agree with it entirely, we did learn some interesting things, and Jason suggested trying a paleo diet/lifestyle. We aren't going completely "paleo" though, but limiting our grains quite a bit more. Having only started this yesterday in full force, it's been a definite change.

I usually plan two weeks of meals and go grocery shopping for 90% of what we need every other Friday or Saturday and get perishables as needed the next week - milk and dairy, veggies, fruit -  which can be challenging in itself due to 14 dinners planned plus figuring out staples for breakfasts and lunches. The boys tend to take the same thing day after day, or at least week after week, which again can get boring.

On Saturday, after deciding to start planning for just a week, I attempted to find some new meals and while I found a few, I just couldn't concentrate. I remembered a site I'd heard about, eMeals, and decided to check into it. After a brief discussion with Jason, we signed up for a 3 month 7-day dinner meal plan - the paleo one - as well as adding on the 5-day lunch and 5-day breakfast menus. They give you a full week of dinners including recipes and grocery list, and for 5 days for the lunch and breakfast ones each.

There were 2 breakfast recipes we decided to skip (a smoothie and a pineapple cashew bar), but the other 3 look perfect for us to try. We are filling in cereal, scrambled eggs and toast or pancakes on the other 4 days this week. The lunches all look yummy and do-able. Today's was a parfait and pears with nut butter. I tweeked it a bit to fit our tastes, using regular french vanilla yogurt instead of french vanilla greek yogurt, granola cereal instead of pearl barley, and just strawberries rather than strawberries AND blueberries, and replacing nut butter with wowbutter, due to nut allergies at school. (I worry a lot, and even though there aren't allergies in either of the boys' classrooms, they aren't always diligent with the hand washing, etc and I'd hate for a friend in any other class that they see in the hall/lunch/recess that has an allergy to have a reaction. Better safe than sorry and they don't really mind :) )

Dinner last night was all new. Even though we've had ribs before, it was a new recipe. We baked baby-back pork ribs with a dry-rub for about 3 hours, till they were falling off the bone. For the side dishes, the boys had simply cheetos cheese puffs - no food coloring, although still processed, it's a compromise - and we all had spicy turnip greens. Having never cooked OR eaten turnip greens, I wasn't sure what to expect. With Jason's help in the kitchen, dinner turned out good! The turnip greens were sauteed/boiled with onions, garlic, olive oil, apple cider vinegar and dill pickle juice and then seasoned with sea salt and red pepper. They were sour, but not horrible. E and Alex really liked the ribs, with a bit of bbq sauce added, as did I. Jason ate them with and with out bbq sauce. Jack didn't want anything to do with the ribs. Jas, E, Alex and I ate the turnip greens - although the boys only had to try a small amount and weren't too enthusiastic, they did eat all of it! Jackson was leary about the whole meal to be honest, but did end up eating cheese puffs, a banana, and the ONIONS from the greens!! LOL. He kept saying "grapes, grapes" and pointing to the little diced onions, so Jason kept giving them to him.

Tonight, we are having fish and roasted veggies, and some baked fries for the boys. I have back-up stuff in the house just in case - fish sticks for the boys as the fish recipe sound a bit spicy. Although, they will probably at least eat some of it. I'm just glad they are willing to indulge me by trying this stuff ;) I won't be a short-order cook, but I'm willing to add something that I know they will eat to an all-new or mostly-new meal so they won't go hungry if they truly don't like it, and they are willing to eat at least a bite or two of most everything we offer them. Well except the toddler. He used to eat anything, but he's at a pickier stage now. That's ok. Just got to keep offering. Right?

One thing I'm not sure about with this new menu-plan thing is that I went way over budget for the week. I bought a week's worth of groceries, but spent almost all of our 2 weeks worth of grocery money...

Though I'm sure quite a few things are more than a week's supply - staples for the pantry. Plus we have 3 meals worth of meat that we had "extra" in the freezer from 2 weeks ago: a whole chicken and 2 lbs of ground beef. As well as adding an second roast since I bought 2 this week for a good price. We also usually have leftovers once a week, so we will do that, and move one of this week's meals to next week, as well as add one to next week, so that will only leave one dinner and then some breakfast/lunch items to buy. I will have to readjust our budget some though I think. It's a work in progress, but it will work out. I don't know when I've bought so much fresh produce!

I hope that nothing in the fridge freezes prior to tomorrow. We get our new one delivered tomorrow after 9am. I seriously can not wait!!! I've been watching the lettuce, kale and baby spinach, especially, like a hawk. They seem to freeze the easiest and then it's ruined. 24 hours!

I'm glad we decided to try this menu plan though. It's pleasing to all of us - Jason gets meat or seafood at every dinner (his favorite) and I get to serve more veggies and we get to try new things, while cutting down on the one thing I'm seriously addicted to: grains and starches. Plus it saves me time and energy. That makes me especially happy!

It's also October and we are trying - unbeknownst to Jason and the boys - eat less processed foods. Not completely unprocessed but much, much less.

We ordered pizza and cheesebread Friday night and all I could think about after and the next day was how much my stomach hurt. I mentioned it to Jason, and he said the same thing! It wasn't even that good tasting! Totally decided it's going to be quite awhile before we order pizza or even eat out anywhere.

How do you plan your meals? Do you cook a lot at home? Are you adventurous or at least willing to try new recipes or are you more conservative, sticking to your "old favorites"?

My "letter" to my sister and her new husband

My older sister, Heather got married last Saturday - 9/21/13 - and as her Matron of Honor, I was blessed with the honor of toasting the new couple, among all my other duties.

See, here's the thing. I'm pretty good with words, quite eloquent when writing, if I say so myself ;) The speaking of the words, not so much. If you know me, you know I can be a nervous wreck. I'm a very shy person, until I get to know people and open up, meaning in "real life" it's hard for me to talk to people.

Anyway, I wrote up this awesome little speech, toast, whatever you want to call it, the day before, on the car ride down, while Jason drove. I thought to myself, "Wow! That's so awesome!" LOL. Yes, just a little conceited ;)
Anyway, I showed my mom, and she started tearing up, so I knew it was perfect.

However, Saturday evening, I choked. I could barely get words out as I stood there with the microphone, looking at my beautiful sister and her handsome new husband, and oh yeah, the crowd of over 100 people, many of whom I'd never met!! While I managed to at least touch on some of what I had wanted to say, I didn't read the cards (I actually never intended to read them word for word anyway, but wanted them as a reminder, a back up, if you will).

Since I was unable to give my all and share exactly what I wanted, I thought I'd share here, and hope that my sister actually comes and reads it and shares it with Matt, my newest brother-in-law.

The Happy Couple

First of all, let me just say welcome to everyone who was able to join us today. On behalf of Heather and Matt, I want to say thank you for coming and celebrating this very special day with them as they join their families.

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm Crystal, Heather's baby sister.

For the last 32 years, I've been the most blessed, and luckiest little sister to have Heather to look up to, watching her raise her boys and trusting her advice. She's always been there for me, never judging me. So much more than a sister to me, she's my oldest, dearest, and very best friend.

In the last 2 1/2 years, I've seen such happiness in her. After meeting Matt for the first time, I could see why. He's kind, thoughtful, and patient. Though they seem so different in their interests - Heather with her shopping vs Matt with his hunting and outdoorsy activities, in fact, I never foresaw Heather as one who would own chickens! - they are so perfect for each other (like peas and carrots).

Heather's eyes light up when Matt's around and he puts a smile on her face everyday.

In the traditional marriage vows, we promise to love for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. I've seen these two already living these vows and know they will continue to and are meant to be. True soul mates.

Besides, we all know if Matt has been able to stick around through Heather's "worse", he'll be able to handle anything! (Kidding!!)

Also not only am I thrilled to add a new brother but also two beautiful nieces to our family today!

Some age-old advice that Jason and I received so many years ago, that is the best advice we ever got, and rings so true - there is, after all, a reason everyone gives it!:

Never go to bed angry, always say I'm sorry.

Always, always, say I love you and mean it with your whole being. Whether you are leaving for 2 minutes or 2 days, never leave with out saying that simple phrase.  

I'd like to propose a toast:

To my beautiful sister and her handsome husband -

Heather and Matt

Congratulations

and here's to many, many happy years together.

 

P.S. We love you guys very much!!!

From Public to Private to Specialized to Charter: Our Education Journey So Far

Since yesterday's post disappeared and erased over half of this, I had to try and rewrite it. I hope I didn't leave anything out! And hopefully the internet won't eat it again ;)

When Ethan was about 18 months old, and we were still living in Southern Maryland, we had him evaluated through the early childhood education program. This was our first experience as parents with any kind of "school". Ms. Kim was awesome. She came out to the house for several months, 1-2 times a week and worked with E and us, getting him to sign a few things, talk, socialize, etc. We also did some play group activities.

Once we moved back to our hometown in Ohio, Ethan was 4 and Alex was 16 months. We were living with Jason's family for a few months, in our old school district and decided to wait on preschool for E and worked with him at home. In March, we moved across town to a different school district, one of the best in the area, and put him in their special education preschool for a couple of months, knowing he would start kindergarten in the fall. He did well, and the teachers were really nice.

Kindergarten was interesting. From Aug to December, E was in the same great district, in a great school, going half-day with a bus ride. They worked with us, got him his first "official" school diagnosis as well as an IEP (before school-age it's called something different, as it's family based rather than individual) and he was doing well. His teacher, the aide and the other students adored him.

In December, while Jason was in Afghanistan for contract work, we moved from our rental home to the house we purchased across the street from my in-laws. Which meant a change in districts, and schools. For E, this was a big change. Half-day to full-day, 23-25 kids to 32+ in the class, regular clothes to uniforms, bus ride to no bus service (too close to the school, so he was considered a "walker", and I drove him each day), and he did not really adjust well. I was somewhat excited because it was my old elementary school and I had mostly good memories. A lot had changed in those years though. I turned over all his records including his IEP and assumed it was being put into effect. After about a month of phone calls, early pick-ups due to meltdowns/crying, E telling me kids in his class were stealing his lunch (5 year olds!!!) and other bullying, I spoke with the teacher. I waited that long, because I knew there would be an adjustment period and learning period. However, that day I found out something that angered me. His teacher knew NOTHING of his IEP. It wasn't implemented, and it was somehow LOST!!!! I was pissed! Jason wasn't home yet, but if he had been, oh boy. I should've realized after the first day that we were going to have problems, after all, I witnessed 2 kindergarteners fist-fighting in the classroom... At the end of the year, we pulled him out of there.

There are so many options for school and our next choice was a private Catholic school.  It was my in-laws parish and my sister-in-law was attending there and Jason, his brother and sister had all graduated 8th grade from there. The principal knew the family and was nice, so I spoke with her and told her about Ethan's autism diagnosis and school difficulties in terms of behavior and meltdowns. She let me know it should be fine and so at then end of August 2008, Ethan started 1st grade. In the first few weeks, while Jason was already working in Michigan and commuting, I got many phone calls, either to come get him, or saying he was "getting an attitude and being disrespectful" but once it was explained what he said, it was more of a matter of him correcting the teacher or telling her he didn't "need to do" such and such - the lack of a filter of what to say and what not to say and to whom. Not saying my child is NEVER disrespectful, but the majority of the time, he was/is  being overly honest and speaking his mind without the INTENTION of hurting feelings and therefore not being disrespectful as there is absolutely no intention behind it. If that makes sense. And he has since learned to censor what he says a little better ;) Anyway, by mid-October, I was brought in to speak to the principal and was told we should start looking for a different environment because she wasn't sure it was working out and gave me a number to call for an organization that she thought worked with special needs kids including kids with ASD. I told her I would look into it. After 10 days or so, and doing my own research and not really finding anything, I hadn't heard any more from the school and I figured everything had settled down. The same day I got a letter essentially kicking Ethan out due to lack of resources for his "condition". Really? I had been up front and she said it would be fine. At the time, I was very hurt and angry, so I pulled him out and went to speak with her. She said something along the lines of "well I thought our last conversation cleared it all up and you were going to have him enrolled elsewhere by now. I called those people and apparently they no longer work with kids with ASD, only FAS. Sorry." Mind you, I couldn't even get in touch with "those people", so we got our tuition money back and didn't send him for a few days.

At this point, we found S.A.I.L. (School for Autistically Impaired Learners). They rented some rooms at a different Catholic elementary school and had one-on-one aides for each student in a multi-age and multi-grade class, and also the possibility to integrate into the Catholic school's regular ed classrooms if and when the students were ready. E started there in November and they quickly integrated him into the classroom and realized he was academically advanced. With our approval, they moved him to second grade and by January he spent most of his time - with his aide in the classroom, too - in the Catholic school's 2nd grade classroom. At the end of year, we sent E and Alex both to their summer school session, as they had a peer-to-peer program that Alex could attend as a typical peer. The director of S.A.I.L. felt that no matter where E went the next year, with the right supports, he could ideally be in the regular classroom full time, whether with an aide or a "safe place" if necessary to decompress.

Since Jason had been working and living most of the week in a rental room in Michigan and coming home on the weekends, it had been an extremely long year. We realized that it was time to be a family again in the normal sense and sell our house and move to Michigan. We found a rental house and started searching for a good school. The very first week we moved there, Jason had to travel for work, and school was scheduled to start. We were still looking at houses and different areas, so I was driving around with the boys one day and happened upon the charter school. I called and talked to the vice principal the Thursday after school started and we set up a walkthrough and meeting for the following day. After explaining E's diagnosis yet again, and detailing our previous experiences, we were welcomed with open arms. E started 3rd grade Monday morning. That year was a little rough, as there were many adjustments, and the teacher for the first part of the year had moved from K to 3rd that year and was somewhat unorganized and the teacher that took over after the winter holiday break was tougher, stricter. I was called a lot but mostly to keep me in the loop. 4th grade was better for E, as his teacher was organized but fairly laid back and Alex started kindergarten with the nicest kindergarten teacher ever! The following year, Alex went to one week of 1st grade before they came to me and asked if they could test him and move him to 2nd grade, which I agreed, and his teacher that year was amazing! Ethan also had a better year yet again, even though his very sweet and caring teacher went out on maternity leave in February. Luckily she was replaced with an equally good substitute. There were also a lot of changes here at home, having added a new member to our family in Jan 2012. 6th grade for Ethan, his teacher was so great and had a good insight into ASD and special needs and we decided on a self-contained class for E as we felt the rotating classes on top of his anxiety might prove to much for him. We were so glad the school offered it. Alex was lucky to have Ethan's old 4th grade teacher teaching 3rd last year, so we already knew it would be a good year.

So far this year, it's been a good year. Alex is in 4th and his teacher is trying her best to academically challenge him - he's still reading above grade level (mind you, chronologically he should only be in 3rd this year) as well as most other subjects he's doing exceptionally in. E is in the self-contained 7th grade - per his request - and seems to be doing well behavior wise, and academically, he's being challenged despite also being ahead of 7th grade level in many subjects (again he should technically only be in 6th) and his teacher is doing a great job of helping him learn coping skills.

While it seems like we love our school - which for the most part we do! - there are some silly, little things (maybe some not so little, too) that irritate us.

1. The school is preschool through 12th grade split into four buildings, with a small gym, a big gym, a main office, music room, resource rooms, mtss rooms, media/library, small library - not really functional, small cafeteria and warming kitchen. I feel that if the school had been planned/built differently it could be more efficient.

2. The cafeteria is small and there's no "real" kitchen. Had they planned appropriately, they could have put in a real kitchen and had more lunch options and not had to cater the lunches, therefore avoiding the need to pre-order lunches a month in advance. We don't personally buy school lunch, as we don't like the choices (only one choice each day, and not so "real" food) but if we were late one day or something, we don't have the option to just send money in to buy lunch that day. Also there is a big kitchen in the preschool/library/spanish/resource room building attached to the "little" gym/multipurpose room. If it were me, I'd have just made it useful and used the multipurpose room as the cafeteria and used the kitchen that's already there. I think it's fully equipped! They could offer choices to the kids and make fresh, homemade foods in there... But that's just me and I'm not in charge ;)

3. The administration. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the teachers. The administration is somewhat lacking. I don't think they are bad people, just maybe not in the right positions for who they are. If that makes sense. The lack of organization and seemingly communication is appalling. Also there seems to be a lot of gossip, "high school" behavior, not just within the admin, but all the staff, teachers included. I may be misinterpreting, but sometimes, I want to remind people they are adults. But it's also some of the other parents too! I will probably get some slack for this...

4. The parking lots. Is it just me, or do people just not know proper etiquette when it comes to driving and parking? Or maybe they can't read the big bold yellow paint that says "NO PARKING"!!!!! It drives me absolutely nuts! And then I get looks like I'M the weird one! Really? I'm following the arrows, and parking in a marked space. Or I let the pedestrians have the right-of-way. Regardless of how others drive and park, the parking lots are not large enough for the amount of growth the school has had. There just aren't enough spots. I know they are planning to expand the elementary lot.

5. Expansion. I know there is talk of adding on to the HS building and moving middle school over there, which would actually be a great thing.

6. Currently no PTO. As well as lot of junk sold at games/events, bake sales (at least last year) during lunch periods and popcorn sales on Fridays. Popcorn CAN be healthy, however after helping last year, I've decided I will NOT be allowing my boys to buy popcorn from school. They will bring popcorn from home, made with less oil and salt, and no artificial colors and flavors. Although, I ran out of time today so I let them just this once.

Looking for advice...

I've got a post sitting in draft right now that's been there over a week. But this seems a bit more urgent, more important to share.

We've been trying to work with Ethan over the years in regards to his anxiety, frustrations, meltdowns, and behaviors. At 11, certain things have gotten better, and some have stayed the same or gotten a little worse. Jason and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to avoid medicating him unless absolutely necessary.

Today, we took him to see a neurologist, who asked a bunch of questions - most of which we've answered many times before, either to a school or another doctor - and then gave us some good insight.

He recommended one of two things.

1.) Put him on a low-dose of an SSRI - Prozac, to be exact - to help with his anxiety and to cope with changes to routine easier.

2.) See a psychologist for cognitive behavior therapy to learn coping skills.

Prozac, apparently, has very few side effects, and the side effects they see in some older kids (suicidal thoughts, etc) doesn't seem to happen with ASD kids. Also it's a very low dose that he would be given, only 10 mg.

The cognitive behavior therapy can take a long time to help, especially in younger kids and teens, but is a great tool!

Jason and I are currently discussing our options, though we have the prescription sitting here if we want to start it.

We are thinking the following:

Contact a psychologist and sign him up for the therapy, and get him learning coping skills. Meanwhile, to help alleviate the day-to-day anxiety on a more immediate time frame, start him on the Prozac, temporarily, and wean him off of it in a few months time.

Anybody out there have any suggestions or thoughts? Seriously, now is the time. I am all ears. I hate to see any of my boys struggle and this is the hardest decision we've had to make to date.